100k Reply Contest

[Kagami]

yeah goodnight

 

[Naren]

Again?

 

[Alpo]

Goodnight?

 

[Naren]

This "Mizuchi" novel I'm reading is fucking interesting!

 

[g3rmanium]

With only 162 posts outside of this thread... No wonder Mastodon said "G3ermanium? Who the hell is that?"

I'm working on it.

 

[g3rmanium]

Yes. Auditions are held at the Helsinki YMACA.

Yes?

 

[Naren]

Yes. Auditions are held at the Helsinki YMACA.

How many more guitarists can the country hire?

 

[Alpo]

How many more guitarists can the country hire?

Many, many more.

 

[Naren]

Many, many more.

Then I guess I'll be applying in the near future. I mean, there's no way I won't be accepted. I'll also be applying for the bass guitar and keyboards positions for session musician glory, as well as the main band guitarist/vocalist position.

Do you know what the auditions entail?

 

[Alpo]

You must be able to play a melodic death metal song while shouting "YOW YOW YOW!!!11!!!" at carefully selected points in the song. If you can do this, you will be accepted.

 

[Naren]

You must be able to play a melodic death metal song while shouting "YOW YOW YOW!!!11!!!" at carefully selected points in the song. If you can do this, you will be accepted.

I'm a master at doing that. Maybe I should have been born in Finland.

Lately I've been practicing on my shouting "YOW YOW YOW!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YOW!!" while playing melodic shred solos.

Does the fact that I'm not Finnish and don't speak any Finnish hurt my chances of being accepted?

 

[g3rmanium]

You must be able to play a melodic death metal song while shouting "YOW YOW YOW!!!11!!!" at carefully selected points in the song. If you can do this, you will be accepted.

Could I shout "OI OI OI!" as well?

 

[Naren]

Honey, you can do whatever you want. Just remember that your father and I love you... and that we don't want to have to send you to the mental institution, but it's for your own good... goodbye, son...

 

[Alpo]

Does the fact that I'm not Finnish and don't speak any Finnish hurt my chances of being accepted?

No. Most Finnish guitarists are usually so drunk that they can barely speak Finnish themselves.

 

[Naren]

No. Most Finnish guitarists are usually so drunk that they can barely speak Finnish themselves.

Does that mean I should go to the audition drunk out of my mind? And when they see that, despite being so drunk, I can still sing and play tapped sweep arpeggios cleanly at 260BPM while yelling "YOW YOW YOW!!! uhhhhhwwwooooooooooahh YOW!!", they'll accept me?

Or should I just start studying Finnish right now? Lessee here... Minä asun Suomessa... Hauska tutustua...

 

[Alpo]

Being drunk does help. They need to know that when you've drunk a 0,7 liter bottle of Jaloviina, you can still play guitar.

 

[Naren]

I don't even know what Jaloviina is. Probably some Finnish alcohol...

So, uh, who do I contact to arrange the audition? I assume you haven't auditioned yet, but, being Finnish, you should know these things.

 

[Alpo]

I don't even know what Jaloviina is. Probably some Finnish alcohol...

So, uh, who do I contact to arrange the audition? I assume you haven't auditioned yet, but, being Finnish, you should know these things.

You must travel to the Helsinki headquarters of the YMACA. There you will face 10 challenges each more diabolical than the last. If you beat every challenge, you will be summoned to the Hall of Judgement. There you will face your final challenge: you must slay the legendary champion/janitor of the Helsinki YMACA! You must decapitate him and show his head to the gatekeeper. He will grant you passage to the inner chamber of the YMACA, where the auditions are held.

That's pretty much it.

 

[g3rmanium]

That's pretty much it.

Thanks. About time.

 

[g3rmanium]

This thread needs to make some progess RIGHT NOW.