Anybody in Seattle want to jam? (hilarity/cringeworthy content)

[Varcolac]

I saw this on Metalsucks. I found it amusing, and a little saddening.

Ex-Mudslide Frontman the great Steve Thunderbolt seeks a talented bassist and drummer to form a new heavy metal band. I play rhythm and lead guitar and sing. I play thrash, black, and glam metal. The only band in the history of heavy metal who has ever attempted this was Celtic Frost. It failed because they were too much glam and not enough black and thrash metal. I am the other way around, in that I have more black and thrash metal songs than I do glam songs, but I do have blonde hair so I have a glam image. I have a 12 track recorder and have made numerous cds for Mudslide including "Secret Right to Rock and Roll Reloaded," "Dragonfly of Passion," "Hollywood and Vine," "Columbia City Theater Live," "Studio 7 Live," "The Central Saloon Live 1 and 2," "Station 56 Live," "Chai House Live," "Colortura," "Merkava," "Dark Prophet," and our last album, "In My Final Hours." I have a lot of gigging experience and have my own amps and equipment. Please be over 21 and under 45. Alcohol and drugs are fine except for heroin and crack, so if you are into heroin or crack please do not respond to this ad. All races are welcome except for blacks, so if you are black, pleae do not respond to this ad. I am not racist, it is a drug issue and a safety issue and I cannot have black people at my house. I live in Issaquah and use my house as a practice space. So if you wanna do something that's only been attempted once before in the entire history of music, email nope, not putting this here@gmail.com or call not putting his number here. Belive me, where Celtic Frost failed, I will succeed.

A twelve-track recorder, blond hair and some rather uncomfortable race issues. If only I were on the same continent as this guy.

Where Celtic Frost failed, he will succeed.

I'm not sure where exactly Celtic Frost failed, but that's neither here nor there.

He has a soundclick, full of some ... interesting ... recordings. SoundClick artist: Merkava - Grunge rock, alternative metal, alternative rock, rock,

“WHERE CELTIC FROST FAILED, I WILL SUCCEED.” | MetalSucks

classifieds.thestranger.com | Musicians | Musicians Wanted | Ex-Mudslide Frontman Steve Thunderbolt seeks talented bassist and drummer to form a new heavy metal band


I suppose I shouldn't be laughing at this poor man's lunacy, but I'm sure I'm already going to hell.

Anyone want to jam with this guy?

 

[Pooluke41]

IT'S OUTTA CONTROL!!!!

No, I don't want to jam with this racist lunatic of a Plonker.

 

[broj15]

Isaac Brock from Modest Mouse is from Issaquah as well lol

 

[Jontain]

 

[leandroab]

Wow... I can't stop laughing!

 

[MetalDaze]

Poor guy

 

[Stealthdjentstic]

I would show up just to fuck his tubby racist ass with a chainsaw dildo

 

[BlackMastodon]

Not sure if trolling, or his head is soooooo far up his own ass .

 

[ZEBOV]

Not sure if trolling, or his head is soooooo far up his own ass .

I read that and then said that in a youtube comment on the above video.

 

[pink freud]

Should I drive to Issaquah and troll the fuck out of him?

 

[ZEBOV]

He reminds me of Oingo Boingo.
But at least Oingo Boingo doesn't act like their heads are shoved several miles up their ass.

 

[Edika]

The funny part is that drugs and alcohol are ok but black people are a drug liability? I am sure in his mind all black musicians are crack heads, heroine addicts that deal drugs. No, not racist at all...

 

[Demiurge]

Where Celtic Frost failed, he will succeed.

I'm not sure where exactly Celtic Frost failed, but that's neither here nor there.

There must have been some sort of regional chicken wing-eating contest that the members of Celtic Frost failed to place in.

 

[leandroab]

I want this t-shirt. Now.

 

[trianglebutt]

His range is all of one note. Feel bad for the drummer in that live recording, he's trying to keep up with the rhythm guitar rushing so much haha.

 

[Alpenglow]

AHAHAHAHAA

Read: I'm a racist middle aged man with interesting aspirations and an ego to match Kanye West's.

 

[niffnoff]

Why do I sense something coming up in the memes thread xD

 

[DrakkarTyrannis]

This looks like a job for me....

 

[Don Vito]

I already posted this in my thread(which I'm trying to get closed) and thought it would be of great use here.


this is an absolute gold mine

 

[leandroab]

This looks like a job for me....

You should totally show up.

In drag.

With baking powder in a ziploc and some syringes.