Dealing with anger...

[SirMyghin]

Aye you are in rough shape I realize, we all need to work around certain issues I suppose. Just be careful, carrying a weapon gives you the option to use it, such options are not generally good as causing grievous harm to anyone is serious business. If someone can manage to infuriate me far enough, through violence or even emotionally I effectively black out. Dangerous game really which has taught me to hone my temper very, very well. If we want to make something of ourselves career wise we cannot afford to be making rash decisions. The last time I threw a punch, I would wager I was 16, you grow a lot in the years immediately proceeding your teens though you will likely be just fine. Hormones are not exactly correlated with good decisions

 

[Stealthdjentstic]

For sure, its more there to umm hedge against risk

 

[GuitaristOfHell]

I never carry any kind of weapon on me. I don't see needing it.

 

[Guitarman700]

I never carry any kind of weapon on me. I don't see needing it.

I carry a knife. Pretty soon, a .45. This town is getting more and more dangerous. You can never be too careful, and I'd rather not be an easy target.

 

[Stealthdjentstic]

I never carry any kind of weapon on me. I don't see needing it.

I dont usually either, but when you know things might go down it doesnt hurt.

 

[GuitaristOfHell]

I dont usually either, but when you know things might go down it doesnt hurt.

True, but that's when I run like the hell out of there like a pussy lol.

 

[Guitarman700]

True, but that's when I run like the hell out of there like a pussy lol.

You can't always get away, though. For example, a pretty young girl about my age went missing a few weeks ago, and late last week her body was found in a ditch outside of town. Perhaps if she had been armed, she could have fought back, escaped. Perhaps not. But I'm legally able to arm myself, and I will, because there are people out there who will take any advantage they can get to harm you, often for no real reason at all.
Just some food for thought. Stay safe!

 

[fujitron]

this is a guitar forum so i would tend to avoid deeper philosopherizin'

but still, i feel i need to say this, and you take it as you wish. just don't get mad at me.

sometimes, anger is a defence mechanism for something we *don't want to deal with, but should*

 

[ZEBOV]

So what you have said is that you never learned anything from the way they behaved, instead you replicated. There comes a time when you have to evaluate yourself and grow up. Anger, especially violence (except in the need to defend oneself) is not a mature response. There are only two paths, to separate yourself from what you dislike, or to become it. There is very little middle ground there. If you have an addiction to violence, seek help and counselling because that is a serious problem.

I'm getting counseling.
When I am violent towards someone, it's not for petty things like stealing an ink pen. If someone grabs my collar and pushes me against a wall, I'll throw fists immediately.

 

[GuitaristOfHell]

I'm getting counseling.
If someone grabs my collar and pushes me against a wall, I'll throw fists immediately.

Wouldn't we all do that though?

 

[skeels]

This is a difficult subject. Of course we would all be much happier if we were able to free ourselves from anger. THIS IS THE KEY. We all get angry- and depending on the person and the circumstance, we act accordingly. Patience, tolerance, understanding and a good-old-fashioned selfish desire to not let other people fuck with your serenity assist us in overcoming irrational behavior. HOWEVER anger is an energy to quote Johnyy Rotten and sometimes its there for a reason. we're supposed to get angry sometimes- like when wwe're bulllied or those we love are abused. But what do we do? Personally, I like to think I have a loooooong fuse, but I know it's attached to a biiiiiiiig bomb. I will put up with a lot of bs- even if I call the person out on it or put down their set in front of other people- but when I lose it, I go bananas. Train yourself physically, mentally and spiritually so that you are well-armed to face whatever life wight throw at you. and protect those who are in need. Thanks- just my two cents.

 

[GuitaristOfHell]

This is a difficult subject. Of course we would all be much happier if we were able to free ourselves from anger. THIS IS THE KEY. We all get angry- and depending on the person and the circumstance, we act accordingly. Patience, tolerance, understanding and a good-old-fashioned selfish desire to not let other people fuck with your serenity assist us in overcoming irrational behavior. HOWEVER anger is an energy to quote Johnyy Rotten and sometimes its there for a reason. we're supposed to get angry sometimes- like when wwe're bulllied or those we love are abused. But what do we do? Personally, I like to think I have a loooooong fuse, but I know it's attached to a biiiiiiiig bomb. I will put up with a lot of bs- even if I call the person out on it or put down their set in front of other people- but when I lose it, I go bananas. Train yourself physically, mentally and spiritually so that you are well-armed to face whatever life wight throw at you. and protect those who are in need. Thanks- just my two cents.

I used to have a short fuse to a hydrogen bomb. It's gotten longer the older I've gotten but certain things I still have a short fuse on.

 

[BrainArt]

I used to have a *ton* of anger and go through some pretty nasty mood swings when I was younger, near bi-polar mood swings. One minute I'd be happy, the next I'd be screaming my head off and thrashing about, so much so that my mom had to hold me down and sit on me until I calmed down a few times.

I have better control over my anger, now, but that big ass bomb is still there and always will be, I just know how to diffuse it.

Really, when you're angry with one of your siblings (I have two sisters, one older, one younger), the best thing to do is to just walk away from them and take several deep breaths.

I've come close to hitting both of my sisters, though. My cousin has had to hold me back a few times, hell, he and I used to get into scuffles all the time.

And yes, I just used the word scuffle.

/tired, rambling post.

 

[Taylor2]

This is a very interesting topic.

I've been dealing with anger problems and general cynical thoughts for quite some time.


However, the triggers seem to be ignorance and blind condescension.

I work retail (gee, I wonder why I feel this way..) and on a daily basis I get to deal with ignorant people who don't care to be corrected and become defensive when I explain why.

I don't instigate, I don't treat people poorly, I wouldn't have lasted 5 years here if I did, but nothing pisses me off more when people act like this.
To the point where I've almost walked out a number of times.

Another thing that I think could be triggering this is the general amount of laziness around the place I work. Everyone seems to have this mindset of 'someone else will do it'. And of course, get mad when it doesn't get done.
'It' in this instance means a task.

On top of a number of things.


However, any other time, relaxed as a lamb.



I think I just figured myself out.


Beer + writing irrelevant stories = meh.

 

[Origin]

There's nothing wrong with being annoyed at things that are fucking annoying.

On that note, I'd recommend exercise like's been said but I must +1 running is my big one, aside from calming myself down it's my #1 stress killer. I just can't give a fuck when I feel as good as I do with exercise and a little lifting.

 

[ZEBOV]

Wouldn't we all do that though?

Apparently Stealthtastic wouldn't. And I know other people who are even more passive. I knew a guy that got punched in the face twice and he did nothing to fight back.

 

[SirMyghin]

Wouldn't we all do that though?

I wouldn't and haven't, can't afford to get a record in any case of my chosen career would easily end before it began. Belonging to a profession typically means you need to uphold certain standards, and a code of ethics. Generally any situation where that could occur however, is easily avoidable.

 

[jymellis]

ill add to this without multi quoting lol.

1. i will beat a bitches ass.

2. stealthtastic- you need to chill with me bro. crippled or not, aint nobody even lookin at you wrong when im around

3. i carry i knife. why? cuz ill fucking stab you with it till i cant lift my arms. after i kick your teeth in.

im prolly the most violent and angry person on these boards. i dont and wont manage it. it is who i am.

 

[Stealthdjentstic]

Apparently Stealthtastic wouldn't. And I know other people who are even more passive. I knew a guy that got punched in the face twice and he did nothing to fight back.

I think if I knew there was a chance that I'd get hurt seriously then I'd hit back, otherwise..there's no point in smashing a 90lb blonde thing

 

[groph]

There's a distinction between anger and aggression. Anger is the emotion, aggression is behaviour. It's perfectly normal and acceptable to be angry, but aggression is almost always something that should be avoided.

Whenever I got angry in the past, I'd hit something, be it a wall, a pillow, myself, etc. Never anybody else, but now whenever I'm angry I have that response. That's the argument against "venting" your anger as it just teaches you to behave aggressively and self destructively whenever you're angry, like I do. Since my brain is completely crazy for reasons that are beyond me, sadness often leads to anger, so whenever I'm sad I get edgy and very irritable. I don't deal with bad moods well at all and I probably actually need therapy for it.

Just try to avoid aggression, don't "vent" your anger. Doing physical activity like running or lifting weights are apparently healthy things to do and they've been mentioned. I listen to music occasionally unless I'm so angry/sad I can't think to do anything else. Sometimes, when my best friend is also generally pissed off at the world, we go out for a drive, have a smoke, listen to pissed off music and be bitter at everything for a couple of hours.

Or, if there's a storm of ideas going through your head when you're in an extremely negative mood, get out a damn scribbler and start writing what comes into your head. You might hit a few revelations or come up with some awesome lyrics, who knows. If the anger is at yourself, maybe writing your thoughts down and looking at them on paper will reveal flaws in your reasoning so you will see that your anger makes no sense at all. That might not help, but at least you know your thinking is totally irrational if that matters any.

Anger is a tough one. Us dudes are supposed to be angry, it's one of the few emotions that is socially acceptable for us to express, and it causes a lot of problems for everybody involved. It's probably not uncommon for guys to never learn healthy ways of dealing with anger. Find something that works and doesn't make anything worse.