Girlfriends+guitars, thats the Q.

[MaKo´s Tethan]

ok, first, this is a serious thing, and is something sad to me, so, tell me your experiences, maybe I find I`m not the only one.

Ok, I`m 21 years old, my girlfriend is 4 months younger than me, we are together since sep 2006 (3 years and 2 months) she never want to see me play guitar, and if I`m playing in front of her, with the guitar unplugged, or something sweet on the acoustic, she just take the guitar off of my hands and put it in the stand.
She always say "I like to see you play, but not all the time, or when we are talkin about something important" well, she never ever let me play, and that make me mad, the guitar is a part of my fuckin life, and she too.

I always ear that play guitar make you sucesfull with ladies, and that was true to me years ago, but now...shit.

anyone else have my problem? or I am the only idiot?

 

[HighGain510]

I honestly could not be with a girl who either did not like guitar-playing or did not "allow" me to play. Unless you never put the guitar down, I don't see why she's having such a problem here! If you intend on continuing to play you might want to look elsewhere now man, if it's a problem now and the relationship gets serious down the road you're going to be in a bad situation.

 

[MaKo´s Tethan]

 

[TomAwesome]

I like to see you play, but not all the time, or when we are talkin about something important

It sounds like it might be more of an issue with when you're playing rather than the fact that you are playing.

 

[MaKo´s Tethan]

It sounds like it might be more of an issue with when you're playing rather than the fact that you are playing.

Thats right, I think she is zealous of the guitar, don`t know.

 

[widdlywhaa]

in all honesty dude I only see you headed for trouble..... yes she's jealous. The female species really enjoy attention, and while not all are so transparent most are. I was in the situation a good while ago and needless to say things just didn't last between us. This situation is probably going to come down to a very tough choice.....

 

[matty2fatty]

I lost about 5 years of playing (and most of my other hobbies) because I was with a chick who wanted my full attention whenever I wasn't at school or work. It wasn't so much guitar focused, but its kind of hard to play guitar with someone in your face all the time. It was only after I moved to a different city that I realized what I had been missing out on and broke up with her, and it was the best decision I've made in a while.

Don't let your girl dictate how you spend your time, it'll just end up getting worse and worse.

 

[Auyard]

Don't let your girl dictate how you spend your time, it'll just end up getting worse and worse.

+1

Girls can be huge bitches when it comes to attention.

 

[Dr Terror]

I was in this situation when I was around that age, it was always "Put that down & play with me". Problem was, she didn't have hobbies (or even good friends) to eat up her time, I was practically it. Ive learned since that girls just want far more attention than they're worth lol... & it'll cost you time & money that's far better spent on skill building.

Needless to say, Im still playing guitar, but I'm now with in a much better relationship where the GF actually encourages playing. Girls come & go man but Guitar... that bitch is for life.

 

[Wi77iam]

I was in this situation when I was around that age, it was always "Put that down & play with me". Problem was, she didn't have hobbies (or even good friends) to eat up her time, I was practically it. Ive learned since that girls just want far more attention than they're worth lol... & it'll cost you time & money that's far better spent on skill building.

Needless to say, Im still playing guitar, but I'm now with in a much better relationship where the GF actually encourages playing. Girls come & go man but Guitar... that bitch is for life.

QFT!

 

[Fred the Shred]

Honestly, get out. I mean it.

I can tell you playing the guitar, and the resulting lifestyle if you plan on gigging, isn't too easy to accept by people using the good old "9 to 5" mentality, and if the mere passion you feel for playing the instrument is misunderstood, imagine gigging, rehearsing and the like.

Being a musician implied a few failed relationships and a divorce up until I met my current girlfriend and we've been living together for quite a while. Simply put, you're young and the drama of breakup, when it happens, will fade away and it's not like you can't find girls everywhere.

 

[DavyH]

Say goodnight Gracie.

She knew you played guitar when you met? What's the problem with you playing guitar then? What else is going to be eroded by constant nagging in the future?

Start giving in and you won't recognise yourself in a few years.

 

[CooleyJr]

I've dated girls that didnt even really care about guitar, some that played guitar, and a couple that just like to sit there and stare..
The ones that play/will sit there and stare at your fingers no matter what your playing are keepers. The ones that dont even care, or dont like it.. they just say like "oh yeah the second biggest thing in your life is something you do when im not around." I'd say.. "BITCH. Guitar is THE biggest thing in my life. You're REPLACEABLE!!"

 

[Nick]

i think the fact that your playing guitar while your talking about 'something serious' is the issue here

 

[MaKo´s Tethan]

"Girls come & go man but Guitar... that bitch is for life."
"BITCH. Guitar is THE biggest thing in my life. You're REPLACEABLE!!"

I love you guys, snif.

 

[petereanima]

i think the fact that your playing guitar while your talking about 'something serious' is the issue here

my thoughts too.

in general: my girlfriend doesnt play guitar. but frmo day one it was clear that i HAVE TO play guitar, that i would go crazy (shining-style) if i dont play enough, or - god forbid - cannot play at all. she accepted. make that clear to her. if she is the one and only, she will understand, and also YOU will understand that sometimes not only you need your time, but also shee needs time with you.

a relationship is mostly based on compromises, so sometimes you just have to put the axe back in the stand, and listen to her serious things she wants to discuss and just play guitar later.

 

[synrgy]

I tell any potential girlfriend off the break that as much as I may ever grow to love her, music was and will always be my first and most true love.

9 times out of 10 they're totally cool about it. As for that last 1, well.. She didn't deserve me anyway!

 

[Scar Symmetry]

Surely there's thing she does that you don't like though?

Relationships are all about give and take, unless the balance is right, it's not worth your time

 

[Fred the Shred]

Thing is what I get from the OP is that every single conceivable moment is a "serious thing discussion time". If that is the case, it's obviously excessive and controlling behaviour.

If it's NOT the case, however, one thing is true: one must learn how to separate GF and guitar playing, for obvious reasons.

 

[HighGain510]

I think the folks quoting the following:

She always say "I like to see you play, but not all the time, or when we are talkin about something important"

are taking it out of context. If you look at the OTHER parts of the OP:

]she never want to see me play guitar[/U], and if I`m playing in front of her, with the guitar unplugged, or something sweet on the acoustic, she just take the guitar off of my hands and put it in the stand.
She always say "I like to see you play, but not all the time, or when we are talkin about something important" well, she never ever let me play, and that make me mad, the guitar is a part of my fuckin life, and she too.

I always ear that play guitar make you sucesfull with ladies, and that was true to me years ago, but now...shit.

anyone else have my problem? or I am the only idiot?

It sounds more to me like he's facing an attention-needy chick and if she's stopping him from playing guitar all the time, not just when she wants to "talk about something important" (which honestly with girls, they consider everything they say to be of the utmost importance even when it's not... ) that this is a totally different problem than the one you guys are trying to diagnose.

I say this with sincerity man, if what I said above is the case and she is ALWAYS complaining about you playing guitar, drop her and wait until you find someone who is a) less controlling and less attention-craving than her and b) is more understanding that you need some "you time" for guitar, just don't make it the ONLY thing you do. You'll be alright, but life is too short to date a girl who doesn't let you do one of the things that makes you happiest in life.