So, you have some tools, a garage/yard/spare bedroom/outhouse and want to build some guitars. Though, you don't just want some for yourself, you want to be the next big thing in luthiery. Well, my friend, here's how to do it.
Company Name
Now, everyone knows the best way to get popular is to have a cool name. Remember, and I'll be saying this again, popular sells. You can't just call your company "Jim's Guitars", it's not "edgy" or "modern" or "smooth". Pick something tough and metal sounding, but not over the top. Big words and astronomy references are a plus. Not good at astronomy? Try mythology. Just as cool, but more "worldly".
Body Shape
RG. That's it. All you have to do is trace the outline of an Ibanez RG and run with it. If you want to spruce it up, or be "unique", give it an extra curve or two, or a slight offset. Honestly, as long as it's a sharp horned super strat folks will flock towards it. If you want to be "revolutionary" or "innovative" give it a beveled or chamfered edge. Don't worry about forearm contours or tummy cuts, those are for the 40 year old, hair slicked back blues wankers. You're making guitars of the future.
Headstock Shape
The less headstock the better. Really. If you can cut away every bit that's not 100% structural (and maybe a little bit that is) you're heading in the right direction (no pun). If you can eliminate the headstock entirely, now you're cooking with gas. Remember, no one is going to remember that headless guitars are from the 80's because most of your target buyers weren't even born then. Oh, and if you still decide to keep an actual headstock, don't forget to reverse it. Regular headstocks cause AIDS or something.
Materials
Whatever you do, DON'T USE ROSEWOOD FOR THE FRETBOARD. Use it for necks, bodies, tops, headstock veneers, back covers, pickup bobbins.......really, anything but the fretboard, because it's cheap and stupid and not jet black. Oh, and don't call it plain "rosewood" name every origin it could possibly be from. No one wants "rosewood" they want "Old World East African Madagascan Rose' Wood". Is it the same thing? No one really gives a shit. How about the bodies? Well, obviously Mahogany, Ash, or Alder all other woods are lame. Though, don't forget to make those names sound cool and rare too. It'll help if you talk about how old the piece of wood is, because old wood is good wood, right?
Hardware
Hipshot or Hannes. Only. Anything else is too old fashioned. Let's face it, today's modern bedroom shredder doesn't have the time to tinker with a trem. They're too busy tweaking their 100 watt amps and asking if things will djent. Though, if you throw on a dive-only two post, non-locking job (only from Hipshot though) it may be simple enough for them to keep tune for a bit, so why not? Petrucci does it.
Pickups
BKP. Full stop. Or, if you use something else, make sure that BKPs will fit.
Price
Well, consider your target audience. You're going to have to price them just above "high end" LTDs, but under actual ESPs. If you think the price is too cheap, just call it a "special run". Folks love getting a deal and have no problem jumping on something if they think they'll be getting a good price, even if the price isn't that great.
Quality
Considering that most will be stepping up from LTDs, Agiles, MII/MIK/20 year old beater Ibanez, import Schecters, and other sub-$2k guitars, you don't have to work too hard here. As long as the frets stay in the fretboard you're golden. Remember your guitars are "handmade" so little defects are common. You're not PRS or anything. Fuck up the binding? Don't worry, just explain how time consuming and hard it is to do. You're a builder working with your human hands, are people really looking for perfection? How dare they expect you to be as perfect as a machine. Also, calling a guitar custom instantly makes it twice as good. Remember that. Always.
Build Time
Take a look at PayPal's and various credit card company's fraud report and charge-back timetables. Choose something just beyond that. Trust me.
FAQ
Q: But what if I can't actually build guitars?
A: Easy! Get someone else to, but keep it on the DL.
Q: I haven't started/completed a build, but time is running out. What do I do?
A: Ignore the customer. Folks are too limped dicked to do much besides e-mail and maybe try calling.
Q: I completely fucked up the guitar. what now?
A: Claim mental illness. Run.
Q: What happens if I spend too much on overhead and don't have enough to complete current builds?
A: SALE!!! Sell build slots with non-refundable deposits. It's basically an interest free loan, but in pyramid scheme format.
Q: What if I don't have the tools or know how to do a professional finish?
A: Call it "distressed" or "aged" or some other ambiguous terms that seems cool.
Company Name
Now, everyone knows the best way to get popular is to have a cool name. Remember, and I'll be saying this again, popular sells. You can't just call your company "Jim's Guitars", it's not "edgy" or "modern" or "smooth". Pick something tough and metal sounding, but not over the top. Big words and astronomy references are a plus. Not good at astronomy? Try mythology. Just as cool, but more "worldly".
Body Shape
RG. That's it. All you have to do is trace the outline of an Ibanez RG and run with it. If you want to spruce it up, or be "unique", give it an extra curve or two, or a slight offset. Honestly, as long as it's a sharp horned super strat folks will flock towards it. If you want to be "revolutionary" or "innovative" give it a beveled or chamfered edge. Don't worry about forearm contours or tummy cuts, those are for the 40 year old, hair slicked back blues wankers. You're making guitars of the future.
Headstock Shape
The less headstock the better. Really. If you can cut away every bit that's not 100% structural (and maybe a little bit that is) you're heading in the right direction (no pun). If you can eliminate the headstock entirely, now you're cooking with gas. Remember, no one is going to remember that headless guitars are from the 80's because most of your target buyers weren't even born then. Oh, and if you still decide to keep an actual headstock, don't forget to reverse it. Regular headstocks cause AIDS or something.
Materials
Whatever you do, DON'T USE ROSEWOOD FOR THE FRETBOARD. Use it for necks, bodies, tops, headstock veneers, back covers, pickup bobbins.......really, anything but the fretboard, because it's cheap and stupid and not jet black. Oh, and don't call it plain "rosewood" name every origin it could possibly be from. No one wants "rosewood" they want "Old World East African Madagascan Rose' Wood". Is it the same thing? No one really gives a shit. How about the bodies? Well, obviously Mahogany, Ash, or Alder all other woods are lame. Though, don't forget to make those names sound cool and rare too. It'll help if you talk about how old the piece of wood is, because old wood is good wood, right?
Hardware
Hipshot or Hannes. Only. Anything else is too old fashioned. Let's face it, today's modern bedroom shredder doesn't have the time to tinker with a trem. They're too busy tweaking their 100 watt amps and asking if things will djent. Though, if you throw on a dive-only two post, non-locking job (only from Hipshot though) it may be simple enough for them to keep tune for a bit, so why not? Petrucci does it.
Pickups
BKP. Full stop. Or, if you use something else, make sure that BKPs will fit.
Price
Well, consider your target audience. You're going to have to price them just above "high end" LTDs, but under actual ESPs. If you think the price is too cheap, just call it a "special run". Folks love getting a deal and have no problem jumping on something if they think they'll be getting a good price, even if the price isn't that great.
Quality
Considering that most will be stepping up from LTDs, Agiles, MII/MIK/20 year old beater Ibanez, import Schecters, and other sub-$2k guitars, you don't have to work too hard here. As long as the frets stay in the fretboard you're golden. Remember your guitars are "handmade" so little defects are common. You're not PRS or anything. Fuck up the binding? Don't worry, just explain how time consuming and hard it is to do. You're a builder working with your human hands, are people really looking for perfection? How dare they expect you to be as perfect as a machine. Also, calling a guitar custom instantly makes it twice as good. Remember that. Always.
Build Time
Take a look at PayPal's and various credit card company's fraud report and charge-back timetables. Choose something just beyond that. Trust me.
FAQ
Q: But what if I can't actually build guitars?
A: Easy! Get someone else to, but keep it on the DL.
Q: I haven't started/completed a build, but time is running out. What do I do?
A: Ignore the customer. Folks are too limped dicked to do much besides e-mail and maybe try calling.
Q: I completely fucked up the guitar. what now?
A: Claim mental illness. Run.
Q: What happens if I spend too much on overhead and don't have enough to complete current builds?
A: SALE!!! Sell build slots with non-refundable deposits. It's basically an interest free loan, but in pyramid scheme format.
Q: What if I don't have the tools or know how to do a professional finish?
A: Call it "distressed" or "aged" or some other ambiguous terms that seems cool.
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