^^ LOL
wow, just wow
wow, just wow
gojira said:
John Petrucci Facts
- Thread starter Leon
- Start date
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"rock dicipline" was actually found on the dead sea scrolls.
john petrucci invented tig welding - when he used stainless strings and a metal pick
john petrucci isn't emo - your emo, because aren't as fast as he is.
john petrucci invented tig welding - when he used stainless strings and a metal pick
john petrucci isn't emo - your emo, because aren't as fast as he is.
john petrucci invented gravity - when space-time tried to keep up with his right hand.
you think thats fast, you should hear it when he uses ALL his limbs.
john petrucci never slows down, he simply feels sorry for you and gives you a chance.
If you believe in john petrucci - you aren't an atheist
john petrucci invented fire - need i say how?
john petrucci was hidden in the hull of the sr71 blackbird.
john petrucci recently returned from orbit, and he did it faster than anyone else.
john petruccis sperm is so fast that it destroyed james labries larynx - raising his voice twelve octaves.
you think thats fast, you should hear it when he uses ALL his limbs.
john petrucci never slows down, he simply feels sorry for you and gives you a chance.
If you believe in john petrucci - you aren't an atheist
john petrucci invented fire - need i say how?
john petrucci was hidden in the hull of the sr71 blackbird.
john petrucci recently returned from orbit, and he did it faster than anyone else.
john petruccis sperm is so fast that it destroyed james labries larynx - raising his voice twelve octaves.
John Petrucci doesn't need pickups and amplifiers, what you hear is actually the screams of the strings, brought to life by the high speed massage of his fingers on the fretboard, and tortured to agony by his high speed picking. He just uses the pickups and amplifiers to make it louder...because he can.
The real "Liquid Tension Experiment" was John Petrucci attempting to bring himself to orgasm while performing a solo using a slide which he was holding with his...well, lets just say, it worked, and the results were never released for obvious reasons.
The real "Liquid Tension Experiment" was John Petrucci attempting to bring himself to orgasm while performing a solo using a slide which he was holding with his...well, lets just say, it worked, and the results were never released for obvious reasons.
Drew
Forum MVP
gojira said:
The Devil didn't go down to Georgia, John Petrucci did. And he won.
John Petrucci IS The Matrix.
John Petrucci doesn't get sore fingers, the guitar gets sore frets.
John Petrucci flosses with gauge 70 B strings.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make John Petrucci smile, but only 2 to make him dial in a Road King. With his eyes closed.
John Petrucci flosses with gauge 70 B strings.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make John Petrucci smile, but only 2 to make him dial in a Road King. With his eyes closed.
The Lord Of The Rings was originally The Lord Of The Strings, and was a true story about when all of Middle Earth joined forces to battle John Petrucci. When they got to John's fortress, John played a solo so fast it destroyed all of Middle Earth with an explosion so big it blew away 3 of the 4 moons circling Earth at the time. When J. R. R. Tolkien was done writing he gave it to his wife, to proof read, and her head exploded and her body self combusted. That was when J. R. R. Tolkien new the world was not ready for John Petrucci and had to re-write it. Evidently, a few of the pages from the original version flew out the window when his wife's head exploded. That is why there have been reported cases of Spontaneous Human Combustion when someone comes across a page of the book and attempts to read it.
Ken
Forum MVP
If there was a weather forecast for John Petrucci, it would be "Armaggedon"
The birth of John Petrucci made the Big Bang look like the Small Wang.
If John Petrucci's face were put on currency, it would immediately be legal tender to all merchants.
If John Petrucci were a child again, Michael Jackson would move back to the US. [stewie voice] Ummmm, that wasn't reeeeally funny, wuz it? [/stewie voice]
The birth of John Petrucci made the Big Bang look like the Small Wang.
If John Petrucci's face were put on currency, it would immediately be legal tender to all merchants.
If John Petrucci were a child again, Michael Jackson would move back to the US. [stewie voice] Ummmm, that wasn't reeeeally funny, wuz it? [/stewie voice]
Martin_777
7 String Engineer
John Petrucci doesn't slice vegetables, he shreds 'em.
noodles
Contributor
When John Petrucci cracks his knuckles, it levels buildings in a ten mile radius.
John Petrucci can clean his entire house with the vacuum created by his sweep arpeggios.
If Yngwie was half as fast as John Petrucci, the enegry consumed by his right hand would burn off all the excess fat on his body.
In the future, the speed of warp drives used for faster than light space travel will be measured in Petruccis. The speed of light is approximately 1.89x10^-50 Petruccis.
John Petrucci does not own an 8-string, because in his hands it is classified as a weapon of mass destruction.
Mesa does not make amps for musicians. Mesa makes amps for Petrucci, who selflessly allows us to use them. The amps are free, but we are all required to pay John Petrucci a suckage tax.
John Petrucci can clean his entire house with the vacuum created by his sweep arpeggios.
If Yngwie was half as fast as John Petrucci, the enegry consumed by his right hand would burn off all the excess fat on his body.
In the future, the speed of warp drives used for faster than light space travel will be measured in Petruccis. The speed of light is approximately 1.89x10^-50 Petruccis.
John Petrucci does not own an 8-string, because in his hands it is classified as a weapon of mass destruction.
Mesa does not make amps for musicians. Mesa makes amps for Petrucci, who selflessly allows us to use them. The amps are free, but we are all required to pay John Petrucci a suckage tax.
Vince
Contributor
<science geek> times ten to the negative 50th petrucci's? hahah </science geek>
</science geek> +1desertdweller said:<science geek> times ten to the negative 50th petrucci's? hahah
7StringofAblicK
Contributor
kovachian said:
Twice...
7StringofAblicK
Contributor
"Petrucci" was actually born just "Petrucci." He later added a first name, John, because too many people couldn't pronounce his name correctly (resulting in the extinction of the Dinosaurs).
Petrucci backwards is "Iccurtep" - which is iroquai for "madman with lightning fingers".
Word has it that if you enter your bathroom at night and watch yourself in the mirror, saying "petrucci" three times in a row, John Petrucci will materialize behind you and play air guitar using 256th note runs, causing your head to explode.
Word has it that if you enter your bathroom at night and watch yourself in the mirror, saying "petrucci" three times in a row, John Petrucci will materialize behind you and play air guitar using 256th note runs, causing your head to explode.
