Looking for feedback on my composition

[Nyrrth]

Hi folks,

I'm just getting into the "DIY" musician thing where I'm writing and performing (and programming) all parts. This one is my first real attempt, so I'd love your feedback on the composition, and as a listener what you think works well, what might be missing, etc. Bonus points if you can critique the mix

https://soundcloud.com/xxporcupinextreexx/sir-alexander-platypus-2-0

Thanks!

 

[tyler_faith_08]

Listening now

Some of the bass drum parts are machine gunning

the guitar part at :30-35 feels weird to me.

1:05 awesome

1:12 ish =more awesome

Can't really hear the cymbal work in this area

Snare sounds fake

2:20 = tits

The background thing at 2:50 or so sounds boomy

Drum at 3:20 or so sounds like it's clipping

Don't like the machine gun parts with it either

The pitched instruments are ....ing sweet

4:53 sounds like more is coming then gives you a nice FU!

I like the way it ended, though


It's over, but only 2 things stand out in my mind: machine gun bass and unclear cymbal work in a few places. I really, really liked it. This is one of my more favorite pieces from a non-profesional. I'd like to write with you if you ever need an internet writing buddy lol

 

[Nyrrth]

I really, really liked it. This is one of my more favorite pieces from a non-profesional. I'd like to write with you if you ever need an internet writing buddy lol

Wow, dude! Thanks for the kind words. Very encouraging. I'll keep plugging away and getting better.

I've actually quit playing in a band somewhat recently to focus more on developing my DIY style and skills, but once I feel comfortable with where I'm at, I'll definitely be looking to collaborate!

I couldn't agree more with you on your feedback on the drums - kick, snare and cymbals. Drum mixing is a pain in the a$$ and each day I listen to it, I find more faults. But yes, I absolutely need to fix those, as well as some "mud" that has crept into the mix.

Sounds like you're good with it from a composition perspective for the most part, so that's at least one data point I have . Mix - another story....*sigh*

 

[tyler_faith_08]

Haha, well when I get back to the states, I'll be able to hook my music computer up to the internet and do a lot more stuff lol. Keep in touch if you want to collaborate.

I use Superior Drummer 2.0 so I don't know what features you have, but as for me, I do this:

Set the pieces and then determine the velocity for each. Then, I determine any pieces that need additional volume adjustment and separate the tracks for any pieces that have more than 1 volume per song and divide them into a separate track. Then, I decide on the sonic adjustments that need to be made for each piece. I separate them into 4 tracks for each. I have one for more highs, more mids, more lows, and no change. Ultimately, I end up with 8 tracks for drums.

Then I adjust compression, limiting, fine EQ details, etc. for each piece.

 

[David Portelli]

Hi folks,

I'm just getting into the "DIY" musician thing where I'm writing and performing (and programming) all parts. This one is my first real attempt, so I'd love your feedback on the composition, and as a listener what you think works well, what might be missing, etc. Bonus points if you can critique the mix

https://soundcloud.com/xxporcupinextreexx/sir-alexander-platypus-2-0

Thanks!

Very nice stuff!!!

A few of my observations:

1) I would avoid too much repetition and build upon my verses etc so that they never sound exactly the same way twice

2) I would make the song escalate so that the tension and excitement keeps increasing gradually

3) at 0.28 there are some notes which sound a little dissonant, I would try other options especially if you are going to hang onto a note for a while, choose nice notes

well done and keep it up! nice mixing also

/dave

 

[Osorio]

3) at 0.28 there are some notes which sound a little dissonant, I would try other options especially if you are going to hang onto a note for a while, choose nice notes.

I would just like to point out that I disagree with this. The dissonance in the "solo" gives the line character. Specially considering everything else around it is already pretty consonant up to that point.

Anyway. Opinions... "Nice notes" is extremely subjective.

Really liked it overall. I immensely dig when people mix some electro influence. I also like the fact that it doesn't sound like guitar wank music.
Having said all that, I would like it to harmonically progress more though... There are some pseudo-static parts (the latter half) which could really move forward with some more harmonic variety.

 

[Nyrrth]

Thanks a bunch, fellas! All this feedback is of immense value to me. I really appreciate it.

Tyler - I'm going to start looking at Ermin Hamidovic's "Systematic Mixing Guide" for my drum mixing. Everyone seems to swear by it,

Interesting to hear your takes on the dissonant "solo". I tend to be in veneer's camp in that I purposely like to add dissonance now and then to inject a bit of tension. But then again, I wrote it, so I was probably very cognizant of what I was writing But I think it's a matter of taste in the end.

I would avoid too much repetition and build upon my verses etc so that they never sound exactly the same way twice

Yup, I actually tried to do this in a couple of spots. At ~1:40, I put in some implied metric modulation on the drums to change the grouping of the eighth notes, while playing the exact same guitar riff. The other part was at ~2:07 where the riff changed a bit. Clearly it seems like it's not enough, so I should probably add in some different layers underneath. If you listen to the old version of this song (also on my Soundcloud page), it was literally a copy/paste of the first section, which I knew I had to change up. Good feedback from a listener's perspective! I've listened to it so much that I can't really tell anymore, so this is great input.

There are some pseudo-static parts (the latter half) which could really move forward with some more harmonic variety.

Could you elaborate? Do you mean the electronic part, or the second go-around of the heavy part? If you meant the latter, I was thinking of adding in some layers or lead lines to go along. Think that'll help?

Thanks again, guys!

 

[Osorio]

^ about the repetition, I disagree with him as well. The little variations where pretty much enough for me on the first half of the song. Sure, if you can add more character to it, it may make certain parts stand out more. You may want to revise your "dynamic scheme" for the piece and make some parts louder or softer to accommodate for the added layering.
Have you tried working with inversions and retrogrades of your themes? A lot of variety can come from reinterpreting already stablished material.

About the harmonic variety, I sort of mean both. When you are in the electro part, the piano does some stranded notes, and it sounds cool, but it would be much more powerful and meaningful if the guitar would progress with it. If you could add a modulation to the dominant or the supertonic there, it would probably sound very interesting.
The second heavy part could use the added layering, but on the other hand, you could simply make a verbatim return to A and leave it at that. Maybe do A 1/2.