Movies That Suck and Why

[poopyalligator]

I liked Sky Captain. It made no apologies for being a throwback movie, with campyness included.

Let's see:

Napoleon Dynamite
Ghost Ship
Modern slasher/gore horror movies in general

Those are all movies that I couldn't sit through the entirety.

Man I loved Napoleon Dynamite. I thought that it was pretty funny because it was plain different from every other comedy out there.

 

[ittoa666]

Star Wars 1-3 ruined the rep of 4-6. I am completely obsessed with star wars and I think those movies suck hard. About the only good thing is the fact that I can watch episode 1 and feel nostalgia. That's it.

 

[kingpinMS3]

Couldn't agree more with this post!

Also, the Twilight films (of course) for their terrible fucking acting, modern remakes of classic horror films for losing all the appeal that the old ones had, and The Happening... what a disappointing fucking movie that was.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpT8l94CKcs

makes twilight watchable.

 

[Esp Griffyn]

U571 - American film makers taking the British Navy's credit for capturing Enigma code books and machines? Doh. Making U-boat sailors look like savages when infact they gave aid to surivors of sinking enemy ships (until the US attacked them while they were giving aid). Doh. American direction and historical films are a total recipe for disaster, whether they anachronisms are deliberate or not.

 

[fretninjadave]

Anything by tyler perry or anything with dane cook . Because they both can go eat a bag of dicks as far as I'm concerned.

 

[s_k_mullins]

Anything by tyler perry

I second this statement... None of Tyler Perry's movies are even remotely funny, nor are his tv shows on TBS.

 

[7 Strings of Hate]

I second this statement... None of Tyler Perry's movies are even remotely funny, nor are his tv shows on TBS.

He focuses more on the fact that he makes movies/shows for black people than actually paying attention to it being complete shit
Your black, your audience is black, hooray! now quit making complete shit

 

[Randy]

I second this statement... None of Tyler Perry's movies are even remotely funny, nor are his tv shows on TBS.

Thank you.

 

[kingpinMS3]

He focuses more on the fact that he makes movies/shows for black people than actually paying attention to it being complete shit
Your black, your audience is black, hooray! now quit making complete shit

you HAVE to be a goon.... aren't you?

 

[7 Strings of Hate]

you HAVE to be a goon.... aren't you?

Uh, what? I call it like it is. So i guess that makes me a goon

 

[Necky379]

Uh, what? I call it like it is. So i guess that makes me a goon

guess im in the goon camp with you, cant stand tyler perry's shit.

 

[DrakkarTyrannis]

Superbad..that movie was fucking stupid and I'm assuming only funny because people were high or they're just plain stupid. I didn't so much as crack a smile the entire time that movie was on and it was just useless.


And Tyler Perry movies. Black people should be offended by this crap but they aren't and I don't see why. Ever seen the plays? Even worse. Racial stereotypes, black people playing stupid for laughs, and characters that have problems associated with "street life" with no real promise of rising above anything but being a statistic..then strike up the fat black people screaming songs about Jesus..because he fixes everything...FAIL

 

[fretninjadave]

So its agreed tyler perry hates black people.

superbad also sucked the big one . they told us what it was gonna be before you went and bought a ticket .

 

[orb451]

Matrix 2 & 3: Reason being, they took the original Matrix movie that could've/would've been a nice epic existentialist mindfuck and turned into a hurried, half-assed lesson in how NOT to follow up with sequels. The Wachowski brothers should have been drawn and quartered for this epic fail.

Star Wars (all of them redone): George Lucas, add yet another fan you alienated and disenfranchised by smearing your fat greedy paw prints all over what could've/should've been left the fuck alone. He never should have "retouched" the first 3 (ep. 4-6) and probably should have definitely stayed away from the last 3 (ep. 1-3). Acting, effects and story for the last 3 were unforgivable. Fucking with my childhood on the first 3? That's a much needed trip to sleep with the fishes. Fuck you GL. Go drink a pint of Goneria.

Eddie Murphy movies: Take one once great comic and throw him in everything to see what sticks. Recipe for feces. He sucks. His movies suck. Old stuff is classic, new stuff, not so much.

Gerard Butler movies: He fit well in 300 even if it was a homo-erotic porn dressed as an action flick. He fit well in Rocknrolla. Short of that, he's a shit stick. I met him on Sunset Blvd and he was cool in person but his latest movies make me want to puke.

Cameron Diaz movies: You were hot in The Mask w/ Jim Carrey. After that some stuffed suit must have convinced you to drop the baby weight and make yourself more marketable. You suck. Your movies suck. "My Sister's Keeper"? Really? I haven't laughed that much at one person's personal tragedy since The Exorcist. Fuck off.

Arthouse/Indy movies: Fuck you. You're not as important as you think you are. You're movies are lame and relegated to the bargain bins. If it weren't for your birkenstock wearing, caffe latte douching, granola crunching, new age hippie crystal healing drum circle banging in the woods plant loving hybrid driving planet molesting animal rights coppronecrophiliac sycophants you'd be nowhere.

Kids movies: Fuck you. Your animation sucks. Your direction sucks. Your stupid balancing act between pleasing the slack-jawed troglodyte cherubs and fist-fucking the adults in the audience with "grown up humor" is as vapid and transparent as the skin you're printed on. Up? Up your ass. Bee Movie? Bitch movie. Toy Story 3? Anal Toy Story 3000. It's all about merchandising and dumbing down the next generation of idiots.

 

[kingpinMS3]

Uh, what? I call it like it is. So i guess that makes me a goon

goon = forum user of somethingawful.com. that comment was just very SA.

 

[MFB]

Star Wars (all of them redone): George Lucas, add yet another fan you alienated and disenfranchised by smearing your fat greedy paw prints all over what could've/should've been left the fuck alone. He never should have "retouched" the first 3 (ep. 4-6) and probably should have definitely stayed away from the last 3 (ep. 1-3). Acting, effects and story for the last 3 were unforgivable. Fucking with my childhood on the first 3? That's a much needed trip to sleep with the fishes. Fuck you GL. Go drink a pint of Goneria.

Gerard Butler movies: He fit well in 300 even if it was a homo-erotic porn dressed as an action flick. He fit well in Rocknrolla. Short of that, he's a shit stick. I met him on Sunset Blvd and he was cool in person but his latest movies make me want to puke.

Arthouse/Indy movies: Fuck you. You're not as important as you think you are. You're movies are lame and relegated to the bargain bins. If it weren't for your birkenstock wearing, caffe latte douching, granola crunching, new age hippie crystal healing drum circle banging in the woods plant loving hybrid driving planet molesting animal rights coppronecrophiliac sycophants you'd be nowhere.

Kids movies: Fuck you. Your animation sucks. Your direction sucks. Your stupid balancing act between pleasing the slack-jawed troglodyte cherubs and fist-fucking the adults in the audience with "grown up humor" is as vapid and transparent as the skin you're printed on. Up? Up your ass. Bee Movie? Bitch movie. Toy Story 3? Anal Toy Story 3000. It's all about merchandising and dumbing down the next generation of idiots.

Did you see Gerard in "Law Abiding Citizen"? He was fucking awesome.

Kids movies rule man, they're simple and look good. If you think Pixar's animation is shit then I pity you.

What the fuck movies do you watch also? Action/horror movies that are all surface and lack zero substance so they can easily be discarded 2-3 years down the road unless a sequel comes out?

 

[Adam Of Angels]

I disagree with you about 300 - that shit was metal.

I haven't seen Pearl Harbor in years, but when I was a kid it seemed like a good chick flick... but then watching Kate Beckinsale is rarely boring.

However, this comment made me laugh real hard: "Hayden Christiansen needs to stop acting, or at least die."

 

[orb451]

Did you see Gerard in "Law Abiding Citizen"? He was fucking awesome.

Kids movies rule man, they're simple and look good. If you think Pixar's animation is shit then I pity you.

What the fuck movies do you watch also? Action/horror movies that are all surface and lack zero substance so they can easily be discarded 2-3 years down the road unless a sequel comes out?

I didn't see Law Abiding Citizen but I'll check it out at some point... Other than that, his Rom-Com's and action movies of late (Gamer) have sucked donkey balls.

As for kids movies, I don't like kids and I don't like kids movies. The stories are weak 99% of the time and by and large just serve to bilk hardworking parents out of $20-$50 for a night at the cinema with lil' fucko junior. I don't dispute that *some* of their animation (Pixar's) is good, but on the whole, kids movies from other studios are dreck. Shrek's latest iterations are good examples of how NOT to fuck with things. How to Train Your Dragon? Garbage. Toy Story 3 is yet another example of them just milking the ol' cash cow. That's my biggest gripe of all with the kids movies, it's just a way to sell you merchandise. "Merchandising, Merchandising, Merchandising" as the wise Yogurt once said. If you like them, that's fine with me, I don't. Leave it at that.

Action/Horror movies are a whole other waste of time. So no, sorry, don't like most of them either. To me there are always the classics (old movies) and some fun, funny or funnier new(er) movies here n' there. Just depends on my mood.

 

[Scar Symmetry]

I enjoy 300 but I know it's shit... just good shit.

My contribution: fucking Transformers (1 and 2)

 

[Adam Of Angels]

Did you see Gerard in "Law Abiding Citizen"? He was fucking awesome.

Kids movies rule man, they're simple and look good. If you think Pixar's animation is shit then I pity you.

What the fuck movies do you watch also? Action/horror movies that are all surface and lack zero substance so they can easily be discarded 2-3 years down the road unless a sequel comes out?

This can also be read as:

"Dude, you have an opinion?! I'm upset about it. I don't like it. Here's my suggestions to change that."