Prydogga
Giddyup.
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2009
- Messages
- 7,259
- Reaction score
- 879
Wassup Rockers. Reason: MEXICAN HARDCORE SKATERS.
Movies That Suck and Why
- Thread starter groph
- Start date
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DJENTxCORE901
Banned!!!
Twilight is helping to destroy my generation.
All i have to say.
All i have to say.
Bungle
Sir Roger Moore, KBE
I think he's an ok actor, he's just fucking horrible at hiding his accent
lol-worthy!
Sam Worthington | Cracked.com
Thrashmanzac
plays in 69/42
prince of persia. that movie sucked so hard. the plot was thinner than the sand. and there was too much sand. and did i mention it sucked.
Awfulwaffle
Well-Known Member
encino man. Brendan Fraser's face has something unnatural to it
Bump Time!
** I'm not using spoiler tags because this movie is Armageddon-lite, and you'll probably never willingly subject yourself to it anyway. If anyone has an issue with this, please send me a PM at your earliest convenience so that it can be promptly ignored. You have been warned. **
I watched this god-awful made for TV Sci-Fi Channel movie last night called "Earthstorm." You could have literally taken Armageddon, changed a few details, and come up with this movie. Replace Bruce Willis playing a drilling expert with Stephen Baldwin playing a demolitions expert. Replace a giant meteor hitting the earth with a giant meteor hitting the moon, thus creating a giant tectonic fault which threatens to rend it in twain and send an entire quarter to earth. Replace secret X-71 space shuttles with regular space shuttles retrofitted with "Nukelar Pulse Engines." (I swear to God, they mispronounced 'nuclear' more times than I could count, and they only said it properly 2, maybe 3 times in the whole movie. Some of these actors are seasoned veterans too, which makes it all the more inexcusable). Replace drilling a hole in a meteor in hopes of blowing it up and dropping in a nuke with placing various nukes strategically at various stress points of an ever changing fault-line in order to make said fault collapse in on itself, which THEN becomes retrofitting a nuke with spare parts from the shuttlecraft as an electromagnetic pulse emitter in an effort to create a magnetic field in the moon's newly discovered iron core so that the fault will simply magically close itself (nevermind the fact that this retrofitting of a nuclear bomb into an EMP emitter is performed by a demolitions expert with absolutely no relevant knowledge or training, and apparently in space, electromagnetism looks like blue clouds and lightning).
Yeah, my brain was pretty much ready leap out of my skull after this one.
It also features such staples as the lonely male lead who's wife died 3 years ago and spends all his time working and putting himself in harm's way so he'll "forget the pain," the pretty late 30's something maverick scientist who's continuing in her father's footsteps by using his scientific theories as the backbone of all her reasoning even though "conventional wisdom" says said theories are incorrect (although they are obviously proven correct by the end of the film), after having distanced herself from her father's research while he was still alive to protect her own position, thus creating the pang of guilt that she has to vindicate herself of the shame she brought. Also the obvious ploy that, somehow, grieving male lead will end of with sexy female lead will end up shacked up together by the end of the movie, even though there is ABSOLUTELY NO LEAD UP. Throw in the industry veteran/overseer/jerk who plays to conventional wisdom while thwarting the maverick scientist at every turn (played by the dude who was Starbuck in the original Battlestar Galactica, no less), the Q (James Bond, not Star Trek) type character who seems to be able to build any solution to any problem at a moment's notice, the meaningless subplot with the main character's chosen vocation near the beginning of the movie where he throws himself in harm's way, as to demonstrate how reckless he's willing to be in order to 'forget the pain,' the ability to instantly calculate changes in weather patterns brought on by cosmic events that haven't even finished unfolding... the list goes on.
Also, the generic national space program in this movie is the ASI. Throughout the movie, they have a hard time deciding if this stands for the "American Space Institute" or the "American Science Institute." I'm guessing NASA wouldn't touch this one with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
Also, apparently they've figured out artificial gravity in space shuttles. It seems they're also tough enough to hurtle through a dense meteor field at 30,000+ mph (propelled forward by the aforementioned "nukelar pulse engines") and take a few blows with out being absolutely obliberated, while still being able to maneuver through the lion's share of them. The shuttle craft's main boosters work even after it has jettisoned its fuel tanks with enough power to escape the moon's orbit and bring it back home to earth. Plus, the space shuttle, while barely dressed above the set design standard pioneered by "Plan 9 From Outer Space," has enough oxygen reserves to last a full return flight to the moon and back, which apparently only takes a few hours at 30,000mph, even though the Apollo missions took a full week at 24,000mph.
You really have to see this movie to believe it. It really is one of those movies that are so bad, they're somehow watchable because of it.
Ultimate Stupid Moment: one of the ASI astronauts lies motionless on the floor after having wanged his head on the wall during turbulence. Stephen Baldwin approaches, examines him for a few seconds, and makes the stunningly intuitive statement, "I think he might be unconscious."
Edit: I took out a few of the "also's," even though the "also" moments just go on and on...
Edit 2: I just realized I completely forgot to mention with special effects. These deserve special recognition for being every bit as atrocious as every other aspect of this movie.
** I'm not using spoiler tags because this movie is Armageddon-lite, and you'll probably never willingly subject yourself to it anyway. If anyone has an issue with this, please send me a PM at your earliest convenience so that it can be promptly ignored. You have been warned. **
I watched this god-awful made for TV Sci-Fi Channel movie last night called "Earthstorm." You could have literally taken Armageddon, changed a few details, and come up with this movie. Replace Bruce Willis playing a drilling expert with Stephen Baldwin playing a demolitions expert. Replace a giant meteor hitting the earth with a giant meteor hitting the moon, thus creating a giant tectonic fault which threatens to rend it in twain and send an entire quarter to earth. Replace secret X-71 space shuttles with regular space shuttles retrofitted with "Nukelar Pulse Engines." (I swear to God, they mispronounced 'nuclear' more times than I could count, and they only said it properly 2, maybe 3 times in the whole movie. Some of these actors are seasoned veterans too, which makes it all the more inexcusable). Replace drilling a hole in a meteor in hopes of blowing it up and dropping in a nuke with placing various nukes strategically at various stress points of an ever changing fault-line in order to make said fault collapse in on itself, which THEN becomes retrofitting a nuke with spare parts from the shuttlecraft as an electromagnetic pulse emitter in an effort to create a magnetic field in the moon's newly discovered iron core so that the fault will simply magically close itself (nevermind the fact that this retrofitting of a nuclear bomb into an EMP emitter is performed by a demolitions expert with absolutely no relevant knowledge or training, and apparently in space, electromagnetism looks like blue clouds and lightning).
Yeah, my brain was pretty much ready leap out of my skull after this one.
It also features such staples as the lonely male lead who's wife died 3 years ago and spends all his time working and putting himself in harm's way so he'll "forget the pain," the pretty late 30's something maverick scientist who's continuing in her father's footsteps by using his scientific theories as the backbone of all her reasoning even though "conventional wisdom" says said theories are incorrect (although they are obviously proven correct by the end of the film), after having distanced herself from her father's research while he was still alive to protect her own position, thus creating the pang of guilt that she has to vindicate herself of the shame she brought. Also the obvious ploy that, somehow, grieving male lead will end of with sexy female lead will end up shacked up together by the end of the movie, even though there is ABSOLUTELY NO LEAD UP. Throw in the industry veteran/overseer/jerk who plays to conventional wisdom while thwarting the maverick scientist at every turn (played by the dude who was Starbuck in the original Battlestar Galactica, no less), the Q (James Bond, not Star Trek) type character who seems to be able to build any solution to any problem at a moment's notice, the meaningless subplot with the main character's chosen vocation near the beginning of the movie where he throws himself in harm's way, as to demonstrate how reckless he's willing to be in order to 'forget the pain,' the ability to instantly calculate changes in weather patterns brought on by cosmic events that haven't even finished unfolding... the list goes on.
Also, the generic national space program in this movie is the ASI. Throughout the movie, they have a hard time deciding if this stands for the "American Space Institute" or the "American Science Institute." I'm guessing NASA wouldn't touch this one with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
Also, apparently they've figured out artificial gravity in space shuttles. It seems they're also tough enough to hurtle through a dense meteor field at 30,000+ mph (propelled forward by the aforementioned "nukelar pulse engines") and take a few blows with out being absolutely obliberated, while still being able to maneuver through the lion's share of them. The shuttle craft's main boosters work even after it has jettisoned its fuel tanks with enough power to escape the moon's orbit and bring it back home to earth. Plus, the space shuttle, while barely dressed above the set design standard pioneered by "Plan 9 From Outer Space," has enough oxygen reserves to last a full return flight to the moon and back, which apparently only takes a few hours at 30,000mph, even though the Apollo missions took a full week at 24,000mph.
You really have to see this movie to believe it. It really is one of those movies that are so bad, they're somehow watchable because of it.
Ultimate Stupid Moment: one of the ASI astronauts lies motionless on the floor after having wanged his head on the wall during turbulence. Stephen Baldwin approaches, examines him for a few seconds, and makes the stunningly intuitive statement, "I think he might be unconscious."
Edit: I took out a few of the "also's," even though the "also" moments just go on and on...
Edit 2: I just realized I completely forgot to mention with special effects. These deserve special recognition for being every bit as atrocious as every other aspect of this movie.
ittoa666
Being confused on SS.org since 2008
I have good reason to challenge you to a duel my good sir. I find that offensive.
All_¥our_Bass
Deathly Chuuni
Wow, you guys hate a lot of movies! 
I've seen a majority of the movies listed in this thread, and enjoyed all of them to some extent or another.
I've seen a ton of movies that were awful enough to make every movie on this list seem oscar-worthy, even House of the Dead. So either you guys haven't seen very many movies or our tastes are totally different.
Exceptions being Jaws 4 (or whichever number with the giant shark), and whichever Hellraiser had the killer DJ's in it. You didn't name them, but alluded to them I'm sure. Those movies were just downright irredeemable. The worst movies I've seen were movies like "The Coca-Cola Kid and "Unhinged."
Then there are movies that boost expectations and do not deliver. I think just about every movie in this thread falls into that category. The movies don't suck, IMO, they are simply not as good as they made you believe they were going to be. "Aeon Flux," for example, as I enjoyed the dark style of the animated series with minimal backstory, then the movie comes along all bright & cheery with tons of exposition and a happy ending. Bah! If the movie had been called "Trouble in Happy Land," or something to that extent, I probably would not have felt strongly about it.
I think that you could easily argue that any Hollywood movie falls in the category of missing expectations, though. However, that is highly subjective. The movies that really do not have redeeming qualities to them and are truly awful are never going to be talked about in the sort of detail as the ones mentioned here.
Also, some movies are laughably bad. I really enjoy those as well...movies like "Beowulf" (not the new one, but the futuristic one), and "The Stuff," are great experiences to watch, because you can't help but think that the film makers realized how bad it was and at some point just decided to have fun with it.
I've seen a majority of the movies listed in this thread, and enjoyed all of them to some extent or another.
I've seen a ton of movies that were awful enough to make every movie on this list seem oscar-worthy, even House of the Dead. So either you guys haven't seen very many movies or our tastes are totally different.
Exceptions being Jaws 4 (or whichever number with the giant shark), and whichever Hellraiser had the killer DJ's in it. You didn't name them, but alluded to them I'm sure. Those movies were just downright irredeemable. The worst movies I've seen were movies like "The Coca-Cola Kid and "Unhinged."
Then there are movies that boost expectations and do not deliver. I think just about every movie in this thread falls into that category. The movies don't suck, IMO, they are simply not as good as they made you believe they were going to be. "Aeon Flux," for example, as I enjoyed the dark style of the animated series with minimal backstory, then the movie comes along all bright & cheery with tons of exposition and a happy ending. Bah! If the movie had been called "Trouble in Happy Land," or something to that extent, I probably would not have felt strongly about it.
I think that you could easily argue that any Hollywood movie falls in the category of missing expectations, though. However, that is highly subjective. The movies that really do not have redeeming qualities to them and are truly awful are never going to be talked about in the sort of detail as the ones mentioned here.
Also, some movies are laughably bad. I really enjoy those as well...movies like "Beowulf" (not the new one, but the futuristic one), and "The Stuff," are great experiences to watch, because you can't help but think that the film makers realized how bad it was and at some point just decided to have fun with it.
MFB
Banned
Shrooms.
This thing was the biggest piece of garbage and filled with the most ass backwards info on what shrooms are actually like. Shitty acting, shitty plot, dumb characters in general I suppose; and a lot of time seeing the same seen twice or even three times. And for being a horror movie - there's only ONE time where we see some tits, and they're fucking pathetic little shitty tits.
This thing was the biggest piece of garbage and filled with the most ass backwards info on what shrooms are actually like. Shitty acting, shitty plot, dumb characters in general I suppose; and a lot of time seeing the same seen twice or even three times. And for being a horror movie - there's only ONE time where we see some tits, and they're fucking pathetic little shitty tits.
Konfyouzd
Return of the Dread-I
I'm not sure I've ever made it through a single movie that I thought was terrible...
And for the record... Whoever compared Avatar (which I haven't seen, but you DID say it sucks) to Fern Gully...
... Fern Gully was awesome
And for the record... Whoever compared Avatar (which I haven't seen, but you DID say it sucks) to Fern Gully...
... Fern Gully was awesome
EcoliUVA
Not Gifted
Well said. I'm glad someone else here can think for themselves. I hated this POS, overadvertised, overhyped failfest.
Stop listening to your head and start listening to your balls. They're telling you this movie is fucking awesome. They grew 50% bigger by the end of it. Did you even notice? Shame on you.
oldbulllee
Well-Known Member
Against the dark
2009. Steven Seagal.
if you think anything stated above is bad, try to endure this piece of shit all the way through.
THE worst movie i have ever seen, and i am utterly serious when i say that.
everything is REALLY bad. acting, directing, production, story.... not one segment of what makes a film is even bearable.
i had to see it to the end, as i could not believe a film can be so consistently bad.
2009. Steven Seagal.
if you think anything stated above is bad, try to endure this piece of shit all the way through.
THE worst movie i have ever seen, and i am utterly serious when i say that.
everything is REALLY bad. acting, directing, production, story.... not one segment of what makes a film is even bearable.
i had to see it to the end, as i could not believe a film can be so consistently bad.
Konfyouzd
Return of the Dread-I
josh pelican
Banned
There is no need for me to explain why this movie sucked...
Have any you watched The Dead Hate The Living? Slaughterhouse Massacre?
Fuck, those movies were awful. Two more I won't even bother getting into. Just watch trailers or something. Fucking terrible shit.
Zombie Strippers fucking sucked, too... and I'm a huge horror buff and have a rather extensive collection of movies. I want to sell the last three I mentioned. I don't own Thirteen and never will.
All_¥our_Bass
Deathly Chuuni
Anyone ever see "The Time Guardian"?
Though it sorta falls in that 'so bad it's good'/campy category.
Though it sorta falls in that 'so bad it's good'/campy category.
mmr007
(anti)Social Influencer
Rob Zombie's treatment of Halloween 2....michael myers looking like Zakk Wylde dressed as a skater punk dreaming of mommy and unicorns?
Any movie with Renee Zellwegger
Any movie with Will Smith (Hancock, I am Legend, Indepedence Day)
Nims Island (sucks having kids sometimes....you see stupid shit like this)
Any zombie movie with George Romero's name attached
Any Star Wars movie
Top Gun (seriously, russians are coming and we need the two idiots who just graduated from the flight school, plus the music causes anal warts)
Any movie with Renee Zellwegger
Any movie with Will Smith (Hancock, I am Legend, Indepedence Day)
Nims Island (sucks having kids sometimes....you see stupid shit like this)
Any zombie movie with George Romero's name attached
Any Star Wars movie
Top Gun (seriously, russians are coming and we need the two idiots who just graduated from the flight school, plus the music causes anal warts)
Krankguitarist
Well-Known Member
There is no "suck".
There are only movies that entertain you, and movies that do not entertain you.
Anyways, a recent one for me was "The Road". Watched it, and while it was decently acted, everything felt very cold, bleak, and (this was the kicker) impersonal. I'm a fan of dark flicks, but this was just a dreary, trudging dirge with an ending that I thought fell victim to deus ex machina for a sense of resolution. Can't say I recommend it.
There are only movies that entertain you, and movies that do not entertain you.
Anyways, a recent one for me was "The Road". Watched it, and while it was decently acted, everything felt very cold, bleak, and (this was the kicker) impersonal. I'm a fan of dark flicks, but this was just a dreary, trudging dirge with an ending that I thought fell victim to deus ex machina for a sense of resolution. Can't say I recommend it.
All_¥our_Bass
Deathly Chuuni
Then there's badly made movies, and badly made movies that don't entertain you.
