brainchild
ss.org mathlete
shoot em up - most ridiculous piece of shit i've seen in a long time, but yet I had this uncontrollable attraction to see it all the way through. damn.
Movies That Suck and Why
- Thread starter groph
- Start date
This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links like Ebay, Amazon, and others.
This site may earn a commission from merchant links like Ebay, Amazon, and others.
maliciousteve
Contributor
I fucking hated that film. Ellen Page plays a socially awkward teenage slut along side another socially awkward teenage twat. Ensue awkward film that doesn't go any where and you finish feeling you just lost a part of yourself for watching such shit.
maliciousteve
Contributor
Zombie movies. They're all the fucking same!
josh pelican
Banned
Thaaaank yoooouuuu.
This is a pretty bold statement... You are the first person I've ever heard say this. I mean, there are zombie movies that people say are better... but this is absurd.
The original zombies back in the day are still awesome. Slow moving, dumb as a brick, ripped your neck, and tore apart shit. Don't get me wrong, I love when you see hundreds of zombies running at you and tearing you apart, but think about how it all started. I know Romero didn't invent zombie movies, but The Night of the Living Dead is a fucking classic. I own several different copies of it.
Konfyouzd
Return of the Dread-I
This movie blows donkey balls... The opening scene he's shootin' up a bunch of ppl and there's a lady having a baby in the room... Already weird... Then he shoots the cord to cut it... That's about the point where I turned that shit off.
the fog was a horrible movie, one of the worst movies i've ever seen though was the hurt locker, there was barely any suspense and the movie was going no where the whole time.
so orb451 and groph since the majority of the movies you said suck I like, what movies do you like.
so orb451 and groph since the majority of the movies you said suck I like, what movies do you like.
Konfyouzd
Return of the Dread-I
Oh... Suddenly it's a good movie...
I was not amused...
No, but watching less than five minutes of the movie hardly supports your point. I'm not saying it was a great movie, either, but I watched the whole thing and never felt that the movie was nearly as bad as I hear a lot of younger guys saying it was.
It's totally cool if you didn't like the movie, or whatever movie. The only thing I fail to understand is why you expected "Shoot 'em Up" to be anything other than what it was. The title alone made it pretty obvious to me what the movie was going to be like, and there was a time ages ago when movies just like that would make people laugh. These days, if a movie makes fun of how bad another movie is, most kids will call it a terrible movie for the same reasons the movie was made in the first place.
Konfyouzd
Return of the Dread-I
I said that I was not amused. Whenever someone says a movie is bad it means that they weren't impressed by it. Your explanation makes me no more impressed by this shitty movie. I understand that it's a movie of the "Scary Movie" variety, but a lot of those kinds of movies just plain suck. Deal with it.
Have a nice day, sir.
Have a nice day, sir.
Which one? The remake was fucking awful, the original is one of my favorite horror films.
Krauthammer
Well-Known Member
This thread is full of win. Has a "Maddox"-like cynicism. Which is also full of win. Anyways:
Congo: This movie really is one of the most terrible movies I've ever seen. This came out when I was about 12 and I could still tell that it was complete dogshit. A telecommunications company takes a sign-language intelligent gorilla into the congo in hopes of finding a giant diamond for some satelite bullshit for their mid 90's technology. Most of the crew killed, they release the gorilla and throw away the diamond. Wow, how fucking pointless. 2 hrs wasted! Can we do it again?
Crank 2: Quite possibly the worst film of all time. Really. I actually enjoyed the 1st Crank film, even if it was a mindless action movie. This starts out at the end of the 1st film; and is a complete shitstorm of matrix-like action sequences mixed with anime, mixed with MTV, and maybe that asshole John Mayer. I made it through, but I could not believe the level of destitute failure that was on the screen.
Independence Day: Movie was heavily hyped because of the aliens invading, destroying the White House, and trying to take over the world. Neat? Nearly 3 hrs of non-progressive dialogue, weak special effects even for the 90's, generic storyline. I can't even finish this movie pissed me off so bad.
Roland Emmerich makes incredibly shitty movies.
Congo: This movie really is one of the most terrible movies I've ever seen. This came out when I was about 12 and I could still tell that it was complete dogshit. A telecommunications company takes a sign-language intelligent gorilla into the congo in hopes of finding a giant diamond for some satelite bullshit for their mid 90's technology. Most of the crew killed, they release the gorilla and throw away the diamond. Wow, how fucking pointless. 2 hrs wasted! Can we do it again?
Crank 2: Quite possibly the worst film of all time. Really. I actually enjoyed the 1st Crank film, even if it was a mindless action movie. This starts out at the end of the 1st film; and is a complete shitstorm of matrix-like action sequences mixed with anime, mixed with MTV, and maybe that asshole John Mayer. I made it through, but I could not believe the level of destitute failure that was on the screen.
Independence Day: Movie was heavily hyped because of the aliens invading, destroying the White House, and trying to take over the world. Neat? Nearly 3 hrs of non-progressive dialogue, weak special effects even for the 90's, generic storyline. I can't even finish this movie pissed me off so bad.
Roland Emmerich makes incredibly shitty movies.
I love so many movies mentioned in this thread.
Get Shorty - The only movie I have ever watched at a Cinema that I found so boring I fell asleep.
Japanese Love Story - They succeeded in making a movie where everything was stupid beyond belief.
Punch Drunk Love - Needs no explanation.
Get Shorty - The only movie I have ever watched at a Cinema that I found so boring I fell asleep.
Japanese Love Story - They succeeded in making a movie where everything was stupid beyond belief.
Punch Drunk Love - Needs no explanation.
jymellis
Talk To DeWalt
the crow city of angles, awesome way to destroy a great movie and story, they could have atleast stuck to the book a little bit 
synrgy
Ya ya ya I am Lorde
+1 they totally RUINED it. Brandon Lee was rolling in his grave, I'm sure.
Alien vs Hunter -- I'm all for some cheese, but this was just trash. Trust me, don't waste your time. I'll NEVER forgive myself for watching it.
Leonard 6 -- Arguably the worst movie of all time. Bill Cosby wrote, produced, and starred in it. I don't think I need to elaborate much more than that to justify it belonging here.
Anything with Adrian Brody in it. He didn't just manage to mangle Predators; He even ruined a fucking WES ANDERSON film for me (the Darjeeling Limited), and I *love* that guy's films otherwise.
Anything directed, produced, or otherwise attached to M Knight Shyamalan. I don't know what's worse; that his films keep getting green-lit, or that people keep going to see them.
Braveheart -- Because it's a great film that I will never be able to watch again, thanks to it's director/star being such a colossal douchebag off-screen.
the Constant Gardner -- Because it's more exciting to watch slugs copulate than it is to watch this film, and also because it's just one of those movies that I can't help but feel like is made for the sole purpose of soliciting Oscar nominations.
the Pelican Brief -- Because fuck Julia Roberts. That's why.
Cheaper by the Dozen -- Dear Hollywood, please stop allowing Steve Martin to make such terrible choices. Love, Carl!.
Paycheck --
National Treasure -- Dear Nicholas Cage, please die in a fire. Love, Carl!.
I should stop there, because honestly, I could do this ALL DAY. I have pages and pages and pages of 1 star movies in my Netflix account.
shredfreak
Well-Known Member
Avatar: tried watching it twice, fell asleep twice.Although i have to say i nearly finished it the second time.
Resident evil afterlife: weakest one in the series, too predictable and the epic fights are too short to be considered epic.
Anything after the original crow: more or less same story, horrible actors with little to no stage presence.
The new prophecy movies: The ones with christopher walken were good only because he was in it & basicly carried the movies all on his own. The new ones don't do shit all.
Hellraiser movies: hurrr where to start... after the second one it went downhill. Untill number 4 it's bearable to watch but then there's less & less pinhead in each movie with even more redundant storylines. Hopefully the remake will have all the good stuff from the book so fingers crossed for not another half assed barker job.
Wes craven movies: Boring, predictable, and creator of imo the worst horror icon even (ie, freddy). Watched tons of his movies but didn't like half of them & the other half i didnt even finish.
Uwe Boll: no explanation needed... Why he refuses to adapt the original storyline from bloodrayne is a mystery.
Childs play: wtf did i just watch??? nice a doll with a bad mouth
Don't know how they made so many follow ups to the original one since that one sucked ass to begin with.
Cube zero: a great way to destroy the mystery of the previous 2. Just avoid this piece of crap at all cost.
Can think of more but its long enough already methinks
Resident evil afterlife: weakest one in the series, too predictable and the epic fights are too short to be considered epic.
Anything after the original crow: more or less same story, horrible actors with little to no stage presence.
The new prophecy movies: The ones with christopher walken were good only because he was in it & basicly carried the movies all on his own. The new ones don't do shit all.
Hellraiser movies: hurrr where to start... after the second one it went downhill. Untill number 4 it's bearable to watch but then there's less & less pinhead in each movie with even more redundant storylines. Hopefully the remake will have all the good stuff from the book so fingers crossed for not another half assed barker job.
Wes craven movies: Boring, predictable, and creator of imo the worst horror icon even (ie, freddy). Watched tons of his movies but didn't like half of them & the other half i didnt even finish.
Uwe Boll: no explanation needed... Why he refuses to adapt the original storyline from bloodrayne is a mystery.
Childs play: wtf did i just watch??? nice a doll with a bad mouth
Don't know how they made so many follow ups to the original one since that one sucked ass to begin with.
Cube zero: a great way to destroy the mystery of the previous 2. Just avoid this piece of crap at all cost.
Can think of more but its long enough already methinks
synrgy
Ya ya ya I am Lorde
Damn, I forgot one that's really important to mention, so that any of you who are thinking about watching it know to skip it:
the Strangers -- WORST [horror/thriller/whatever it's failing in its attempt to be] that I've EVER seen. The entire group of people I went with left the theater cursing, and warning all the people walking into the theater to get their money back before wasting their time like we did.
"Because you were home..."
Shame, too. I generally like Liv Tyler's movies.
the Strangers -- WORST [horror/thriller/whatever it's failing in its attempt to be] that I've EVER seen. The entire group of people I went with left the theater cursing, and warning all the people walking into the theater to get their money back before wasting their time like we did.
"Because you were home..."
Shame, too. I generally like Liv Tyler's movies.
Cabinet
:O
Inglorious Basterds
The trailer was a lying piece of shit and made it look like an intense shooter but it was a few hours of bullshit drama with a tiny bit of gore. I watched it expecting to see people dying left and right but got something totally different.
The trailer was a lying piece of shit and made it look like an intense shooter but it was a few hours of bullshit drama with a tiny bit of gore. I watched it expecting to see people dying left and right but got something totally different.
dumbledore
Where's my wand?
Resident Evil: Afterlife
I've literally just finished watching it, and let me assure you, it's the worst one of the series.
They've over-done it in my opinion, was too "matrix-y" sure, watching bullets in slow mo fly past someone as they weaved out of the way was cool back in '99, but it looks tacky in this for me.
I enjoyed the RE series prior to this, easy to get into etc etc. But I couldn't really get into this until good ol' Wentworth Miller made an appearance as Chris Redfield, but even then, it was still poor. The fights were pretty woeful and short. The storyline was pretty predictable and the film on the whole had no real, what I would call "structure".
The Human Centipede
The name speaks for itself. Poor acting too. It would of appealed to me abit more, had they of shown the weird German doctor in a different light, so that you could see what makes him tick. But that's just my opinion of course, I've always had a fascination with the human mind.
Doomsday
Was just shocking. The "infection" was just, ludicrous. The only good thing was to see a Bentley in it!
Bangkok Adrenaline
Some pretty good fight choreography, but the storyline's abit bad in this also! Well worth the search on youtube for the fight scenes, albeit not on the level of Bruce Lee, Tony Jaa etc. But still rather good.
Fighting
A film with Channing Tatum in it, the storyline was weak, yet again. Was too predictable
I've literally just finished watching it, and let me assure you, it's the worst one of the series.
They've over-done it in my opinion, was too "matrix-y" sure, watching bullets in slow mo fly past someone as they weaved out of the way was cool back in '99, but it looks tacky in this for me.
I enjoyed the RE series prior to this, easy to get into etc etc. But I couldn't really get into this until good ol' Wentworth Miller made an appearance as Chris Redfield, but even then, it was still poor. The fights were pretty woeful and short. The storyline was pretty predictable and the film on the whole had no real, what I would call "structure".
The Human Centipede
The name speaks for itself. Poor acting too. It would of appealed to me abit more, had they of shown the weird German doctor in a different light, so that you could see what makes him tick. But that's just my opinion of course, I've always had a fascination with the human mind.
Doomsday
Was just shocking. The "infection" was just, ludicrous. The only good thing was to see a Bentley in it!
Bangkok Adrenaline
Some pretty good fight choreography, but the storyline's abit bad in this also! Well worth the search on youtube for the fight scenes, albeit not on the level of Bruce Lee, Tony Jaa etc. But still rather good.
Fighting
A film with Channing Tatum in it, the storyline was weak, yet again. Was too predictable
Cabinet
:O
I love these kinds of movies. Very generic and terrible yet entertaining.
However I thought they did pretty well making the German doctor look very creepy.
