Need help becoming a pro eater.
- Thread starter PyramidSmasher
- Start date
- Tags
- ain't easy being cheesy americuh! anal seepage bugger the cheese cheese guzzler eat a lump o' shite eat food to eat pussy engorged go army beat navy gorgonzola-gasm greasy poop lube grilled queef grilled yeast infection guy dates 400lb fatty integral berth make her eat make her eat turds meanwhile in hungary one guy one girl one cup op is butthurt! she'll shit bricks smash her pyramid stupid kid titanic shits troll
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Guitarmiester
Awesome-O
What he hasnt told us is the fact this girl is a feeder. Either that or she is a nearly 4000 lbs and just wants to eat him.
OH MAN, I LOVE DE CAKE!
I was thinking the same thing. It's not often you'll come across a normal girl (translation: not obese) that is turned on watching a large man clog his arteries. Pies and cake... pies and cake.
Jaaaaamie said:
Boredom and sheer brilliance set in. You're welcome.
Mr Violence
Well-Known Member
Enjoy not pooping for weeks.
Razzy
[10]
She'd probably be super interested in me. I'm technically a pro eater.
You know, I eat for a living.
You know, I eat for a living.
PyramidSmasher
Chess Dragon
You guys act like this is some scheme against me. I have an attractive friend whos obsessed with this restaraunt and was talking about how it'd be so awesome if someone she knew could actually do the challenge, and she thinks I'm some kind of insane dude who can do anything, so she asked if I'd do it. I could easily say no and do something else, but you get a t-shirt and 10$ gift card for doing it.
Razzy
[10]
LOL at the tags.
PyramidSmasher
Chess Dragon
The best part of the tags is how they were legitimately here in 10 seconds. Grilled YEast Infection and Integral Berth had me loling. Although eat food to eat pussy is classic.
leftyguitarjoe
Correct-handed
I'd seriously like to be able to eat tons of food at once. I'm 5'7 120lbs. I want to make fat people cry at how much I eat without getting fat. Hell, I already eat 4 or 5 meals a day and snack in between when I can. Its ridiculous.
groph
Well-Known Member
This. I call shenanigans on a girl who apparently wants you to go out and eat a disgusting portion with her. Maybe she legitimately likes guys who can eat, maybe she's an awesome cook who is flattered by a man downing everything she made for him. Maybe she's fucking with you. Point is, NOBODY knows. This sounds too good to be true. Unless you can somehow prove that she isn't fucking with you, don't do this. Hell, maybe you can play the games and agree to do it with her only to bitch out at the last minute and sit there in disgust as she eats an inhumanely large grilled cheese sandwich, show that whore what it feels like. Or you could be romantic and get one and split it. Or just suggest some other date idea and stay away from the grilled cheese until she's farted in your presence at least three times, all while she was having sex with you (would you REALLY mind this? I wouldn't.). You probably shouldn't follow my advice at all.
The one date I've ever been on (technically two but she turned out to be a lesbian with a girlfriend so technically none, goes to show how much I know women) we went to a nearby fast food place after the movie (I'm so creative) and she ordered a small ice cream whilst I went for my usual heart stopping triple patty burger/large fries/special female bonerkill edition. After I finished wolfing that down I realized, "Fuck, that probably came off as completely disgusting. Maybe she'll turn out to be a lesbian and I'll come out ahead of the game."
Moral of the story, I'll die alone.
groph
Well-Known Member
"fear of rejection", "social anxiety", "low self esteem", etc. etc.
My hard ass advice = grow a pair and stop caring what other people think. That's all it takes man. The rest of the world is not important.
Guitarmiester
Awesome-O
No offense, but that's nothing more than a weak excuse. You only live once. Go out and enjoy your life, who the fuck cares what anybody else thinks.
Necris
Bonitis.
Guitarmiester
Awesome-O
You had me confuzzled for a minute there. I was like, "wait, when did I say that?" groph
Well-Known Member
Oh yeah, I'm completely aware of that. I just posted what I did to avoid rambling on and on and putting myself in a crappy mood/derailing the thread. I highly doubt I have "social anxiety." I'm shy and I'm not the greatest conversationalist unless I'm comfortable with the other person. I've gotten better since a few years ago IE I now dance at clubs (used to be scared shitless of it even if I was hammered), I'll go up to random girls in clubs and talk to them when my friends can't, I know I can't rely on alcohol my entire life but I've made leaps when it comes to not bumming myself out thinking about my dismal/nonexistant sex life. I used to ruminate about it constantly, at least whenever I was alone. I'm not expecting any miracles but at least I'm not depressed anywhere near as much as I used to be a couple of years ago. My main issue is finding a girl I actually like enough to consider anything with (I'm not one for casual sex) but that is not the purpose of this thread.
I've revised my advice. If all OP wants to do is eat a massive grilled cheese sandwich then he should eat a massive grilled cheese sandwich.
A) If the girl involved he is interested in, he should probably not eat said sandwich in front of her, rather he should go with other friends and do so.
B) If he plain doesn't give a fuck, then he should eat said sandwich in front of her. If she isn't disgusted and is in fact stoked by the sandwich eating, OP might have found the most desirable woman on the planet.
Pretty simple 4 outcome logic. If the girl is interested in him and will be disgusted by the sandwich eating, he should not eat the sandwich. This way he retains his dignity for the time being. We'll call that a "win." If she is interested and is stoked by the sandwich eating, he eats it and retains dignity for the time being. Also a win. If she is not interested then he has no reason to care whether or not she is disgusted, so that's a win. There might be more than 4 possible outcomes but I've come up with three "win" scenarios already so that's good enough.
Jeggs
Well-Known Member
I know some herbs that does that to you
potatohead
Well-Known Member
Seriously, with that much cheese, it would be two weeks before you took a dump again. I eat half a large pizza and I'm done for two days.
Edit: beaten to it, lol shit
Edit: beaten to it, lol shit
