Need help becoming a pro eater.

[JeffFromMtl]

Gorgonzola-gasm

Whoever did that is a man of true win.

 

[PyramidSmasher]

This. I call shenanigans on a girl who apparently wants you to go out and eat a disgusting portion with her. Maybe she legitimately likes guys who can eat, maybe she's an awesome cook who is flattered by a man downing everything she made for him. Maybe she's fucking with you. Point is, NOBODY knows. This sounds too good to be true. Unless you can somehow prove that she isn't fucking with you, don't do this. Hell, maybe you can play the games and agree to do it with her only to bitch out at the last minute and sit there in disgust as she eats an inhumanely large grilled cheese sandwich, show that whore what it feels like. Or you could be romantic and get one and split it. Or just suggest some other date idea and stay away from the grilled cheese until she's farted in your presence at least three times, all while she was having sex with you (would you REALLY mind this? I wouldn't.). You probably shouldn't follow my advice at all.

The one date I've ever been on (technically two but she turned out to be a lesbian with a girlfriend so technically none, goes to show how much I know women) we went to a nearby fast food place after the movie (I'm so creative) and she ordered a small ice cream whilst I went for my usual heart stopping triple patty burger/large fries/special female bonerkill edition. After I finished wolfing that down I realized, "Fuck, that probably came off as completely disgusting. Maybe she'll turn out to be a lesbian and I'll come out ahead of the game."

Moral of the story, I'll die alone.

^^ Tldr. I refuse to backdown from eating The Melt Challenge, all you guys are wasting your time trying to talk me out of it.

My hard ass advice = grow a pair and stop caring what other people think. That's all it takes man. The rest of the world is not important.

Jesus Christ Dr Phil, is this going to help me win The Melt Challenge? I regret ever mentioning a girl. What if I was going to do this alone, would you all be as melodramatic?! Help me eat food, not tell me how to live my life!

 

[Varcolac]

Jesus Christ Dr Phil, is this going to help me win The Melt Challenge? I regret ever mentioning a girl. What if I was going to do this alone, would you all be as melodramatic?! Help me eat food, not tell me how to live my life!

If you were going it alone I'd tell you to man up; it's only five pounds. You ate more for thanksgiving dinner. Pace yourself, eat slowly but steadily, have some liquid but not too much.

 

[tacotiklah]

^^ Tldr. I refuse to backdown from eating The Melt Challenge, all you guys are wasting your time trying to talk me out of it.




Jesus Christ Dr Phil, is this going to help me win The Melt Challenge? I regret ever mentioning a girl. What if I was going to do this alone, would you all be as melodramatic?! Help me eat food, not tell me how to live my life!

1.) No problem, but I'm sorry to say that if you ask a question to people online you're more than likely gonna hear advice that you don't wanna hear. Solution? Don't ask if you don't wanna hear the answer.


2.) I only said something because it just came across that you were gonna stuff yourself to try to get laid; not because you found the sandwich delicious, or because you genuinely enjoy eating large quantities of food. (I'm a fan of the latter myself, so don't think I'm judging you about eating alot. Ffs I weigh like 350lbs, so eating a lot is 2nd nature to me)
I'm only saying that you should do it for the right reason (ie, not trying to impress a girl into jumping into bed with you)
From my experience with women, everything that we think is impressive to women really isn't. Reason being that men and women perceive things far differently. Understanding this key concept will go a long way for you.
This isn't me trying to tell you what to do (and I sincerely apologize if that's how I come across), I'm just trying to help out a fellow forumer with an issue that I've had nothing but negative experiences with. I tend to eat fast, and a lot of food, and all the dates that I've been on have ended bad because of this. It could be a matter of location as well (shallow people tend to dwell in SoCal), but it's never ended well in my case.

 

[PyramidSmasher]

I just wanna eat a bunch of fucking food and now I have a reason.

 

[JamesM]

I hope you get some brother.

 

[MacTown09]

This may be the first serious response you have gotten:

Get some Controlled Labs Dark Matter

Its a substance that helps you eat more. Take it before eating and maybe even slip some in while your still chowing down. The stuff is really effective.

 

[SirMyghin]

Jesus Christ Dr Phil, is this going to help me win The Melt Challenge? I regret ever mentioning a girl. What if I was going to do this alone, would you all be as melodramatic?! Help me eat food, not tell me how to live my life!

That was intended for Groph with his comment about fear of rejection/ social anxiety .

 

[poopyalligator]

Instead of saying " you shouldnt eat 5lbs of cheese to impress a girl" I am going to say: Eat that greasy mother-effer, and hopefully you will have a chance at some crazy poon. Just dont puke cheese on her back while you are boning her from behind.

EDIT: I wasnt aware i couldnt use the full version of mother effer anymore. Sorry mods.

 

[groph]

I think you should live your life as a gay woman.

 

[PyramidSmasher]

I think you should live your life as a gay woman.

Okay I deserved this one.

Anyway, I dunno if Im gonna do it because I'm no longer amused with the idea. Thanks guys.

 

[highlordmugfug]

Anyway, I dunno if Im gonna do it because I'm no longer amused with the idea. Thanks guys.

Hi! Some girl at school whos popular/hot is really into this place by us called "Melt". She said she wants me to go with her, and take the melt challenge. I want to impress herhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuF74dmD7gg

If you didn't want all the "why are you doing this to get with the girl" stuff, you probably shouldn't have had all of the above sentences in your original post. Should have seen that one coming.

 

[PyramidSmasher]

If you didn't want all the "why are you doing this to get with the girl" stuff, you probably shouldn't have had all of the above sentences in your original post. Should have seen that one coming.

Probs. Anyway, yeah I got Xbox Live so I dont need to do this anymore.

 

[leandroab]

OH MAN, I LOVE DE CAKE!

The cake is a lie...

 

[GATA4]

EDIT - I dumb.

Probs. Anyway, yeah I got Xbox Live so I dont need to do this anymore.

Hahahahaha.

Do it dude. DO IT FOR US!!!

DOUBLE EDIT - Do it, lose, get really sick, get sympathy sex. No need to impress! Chicks love beating dudes.

 

[josh pelican]

Just go and get some anal.

 

[JamesM]

^Not if she eats some of the greasy food this dive likely serves. Run.

 

[highlordmugfug]

^Not if she eats some of the greasy food this dive likely serves. Run.

Free lube.

 

[JamesM]

Especially no seafood.

 

[highlordmugfug]

THE TAGS!


THE TAGS!