Señor Voorhees
Well-Known Member
If you feel like being an optimist, at least you didn't invest years into her before she shit on you. Better to have this crap happen early on than after you've built a life with her.
SS Love and Relationships Thread
- Thread starter SevenStringSam
- Start date
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^Silver lining right there. Shit even wasting a month on her would've been a pain in the ass to have it end up like that.
CrushingAnvil
Ironically enough, now in Jesus Land
Señor Voorhees;3955203 said:
We're still a thing. That might make me seem gutless or like a pushover, but it's not like I feel nothing for her. She's said she's sorry a million times and I've never believed her any of those times. I just said I want to forgive her but don't know how. I want to find out how to forgive her, and I want to wait - with her - until then.
JoshuaVonFlash
SSBRO.org regular
Easy, DON'T! She cheated on you in less than a day of you guys becoming official. Spare yourself the bs and get over her, staying with her could lead you down a dark road. There are WAY better woman out there.
flint757
Well-Known Member
Dude....
Señor Voorhees
Well-Known Member
Yeah, if you were only kind of seeing each other unofficially, that'd be one thing, but committing and then breaking the commitment in les than 20 hours is a huge red flag. I know it sucks being single, but it's no reason to get into a toxic relationship which will be a thousand times more frustrating in the end (and even in the near future).
You'll always be questioning her whereabouts, and rightfully so. It can only be beneficial to continue your search for a decent girl. There are a lot of them out there. Like I said, it's better to find out early that they're a waste of time, and for you this girl seems to be a waste of time. I can pretty much guarantee it'll just end up happening again.
You'll always be questioning her whereabouts, and rightfully so. It can only be beneficial to continue your search for a decent girl. There are a lot of them out there. Like I said, it's better to find out early that they're a waste of time, and for you this girl seems to be a waste of time. I can pretty much guarantee it'll just end up happening again.
-42-
Nothing to see here
Back the fuck out dude. She is obviously not ready for a serious relationship and - from the sound of it - neither are you.
Cabinet
:O
She most likely sincerely means she is sorry; however, she clearly does not have her priorities straight since she managed to cheat on you so quickly. She's in a place where she is easily manipulated and her emotions are overwhelming her.
You need her to see that -you- are not going to put up with it, and you are the prize she wants. If you put up with this bullshit, she's going to continue to test how much she can get away with, and that is something you really do not need to be a part of. What people here are saying is true; it is bad news if you keep chasing her.
Let her come to you, be strong and honest. It is no fun being with someone that you have to worry about, and if you keep investing in her emotionally, the pain gets worse and worse.
asher
So Did We
No. No no no no no.
Forgiving is key to accepting that it happened and being able to move on without being emotionally hung up on it. It's also important for understanding.
That being said, forgiving her doesn't mean it never happened and doesn't stop you from taking any of the advice offered above.
flint757
Well-Known Member
Most people can't really forgive for that though. Even if you can truly forgive them you really can never trust them the same ever again.
My first girlfriend back in intermediate school cheated on my 3 times. I kept forgiving her and taking her back too. At the time I really did forgive her as well, but I could no longer trust her so the relationship got a lot more confrontational until we broke up for every reason, but the cheating. If someone cheats they do not deserve a second chance and even if you can manage to forgive them, and give them a second chance, the relationship is changed forever (and not for the better). Trust is easy to lose and hard to earn.
I could see someone feeling conflicted if the relationship was more than a month, but just a day, I'd say call it quits. Trust me, you do not want this to happen a couple of months from now when you're more attached. It will hurt that much worse. I have to ask though, were y'all an actual item at this point? Did she very recently break up with her ex? Either way I think you should bail, but if y'all aren't officially dating yet, and only went on a date, then nothing 'wrong' really occurred. She's got some emotional baggage and is obviously conflicted/confused, but it isn't really cheating if y'all aren't a thing either. Either way bail.
My first girlfriend back in intermediate school cheated on my 3 times. I kept forgiving her and taking her back too. At the time I really did forgive her as well, but I could no longer trust her so the relationship got a lot more confrontational until we broke up for every reason, but the cheating. If someone cheats they do not deserve a second chance and even if you can manage to forgive them, and give them a second chance, the relationship is changed forever (and not for the better). Trust is easy to lose and hard to earn.
I could see someone feeling conflicted if the relationship was more than a month, but just a day, I'd say call it quits. Trust me, you do not want this to happen a couple of months from now when you're more attached. It will hurt that much worse. I have to ask though, were y'all an actual item at this point? Did she very recently break up with her ex? Either way I think you should bail, but if y'all aren't officially dating yet, and only went on a date, then nothing 'wrong' really occurred. She's got some emotional baggage and is obviously conflicted/confused, but it isn't really cheating if y'all aren't a thing either. Either way bail.
Dude, no, don't forgive her. If you do then she'll think that she can walk all over you and get away with cheating on you more. I honestly say that you're (somewhat) lucky in that she did it so fast. That should be a huge red flag to gtfo and cut her out of life. You shouldn't have to put up with it and it will only end up worse in the long run. Save yourself while you can.
asher
So Did We
Forgiving her and taking her back are two separate things and the one does not necessitate the other.
flint757
Well-Known Member
asher
So Did We
That's a good point.
I was trying to say that with the first post too but I think I failed
CrushingAnvil
Ironically enough, now in Jesus Land
Hey guys, thanks for your advice/support. I think you're right - she is wrong to expect me to forgive her so quickly, or even at all. I can't trust her at all now. She says it wouldn't have happened if I lived closer, but that's not an excuse to go f-ck your second-to-last ex 
I'll try to move on. Maybe I'll stay in dream land/tell the other girl I've liked since high school how I feel.
I'll try to move on. Maybe I'll stay in dream land/tell the other girl I've liked since high school how I feel.
flint757
Well-Known Member
If she straight up tells you she slept with someone else because you didn't live close enough she is absolutely not worth it. She's basically telling you she'll do it again if you aren't readily available. She got some issues that she needs to work out. Good on you for walking away.
CrushingAnvil
Ironically enough, now in Jesus Land
"I won't be able to survive ... I would be looking for sex"
"If I tell you that I'll sleep with other guys beforehand is that still cheating [?] ... Like asking your permission?"
f ucking nope.
JoshuaVonFlash
SSBRO.org regular
She's
CrushingAnvil
Ironically enough, now in Jesus Land
She's
She's only a year younger than me, and she's acting like a 19-year-old whore. It's infuriating. She's really sweet in every other way, but just doesn't understand how much that kind of thing hurts a guy.
