SS Love and Relationships Thread

[Negav]

What the .... is this about nice girls and worthless guys? How is it that they tie the girls up so well? Can't stand it.

Also, stopped talking to the girl I mentioned. Seems like in the end I didn't like her, and not even enough to "wait until marriage" for sex.. Now I'll state a point. Guys, don't spent time with women you simply don't like just because you don't want to be single. There are billions of women out there to be living that BS. Live a good life and be open to possibilities.

 

[Murmel]

Watching How I Met Your Mother and realising that Robin is totally like my best friend. Except my my friend doesn't get a new boyfriend every 5 episodes, but other than that it's pretty much spot on

 

[Konfyouzd]

Going out Friday with a chick I met in CVS...

I like this one a lil better...

EDIT: Might be meeting up with her tonight as well... Damn son.

Also, Murmel... What about your best friend reminds you of Robin? Bc the only thing I ever took from her was that she's an insecure hoe...

 

[BucketheadRules]

"If I tell you that I'll sleep with other guys beforehand is that still cheating [?] ... Like asking your permission?"

What... the fuuuck?

That is ridiculous. You'd have to be mad to go back to her.

 

[Konfyouzd]

Well... isn't that an "open relationship"?

 

[Cabinet]

Yes and there is a reason they never really work out.

 

[flint757]

Especially if one didn't sign up for the open relationship.

An open relationship is only open if it is agreed upon by both parties. If it isn't then it's just cheating.

 

[no_dice]

Yes and there is a reason they never really work out.

I always imagine if one person is getting more on the side than the other, that it can lead to bitterness. Judging by the people I've known that were in open relationships, I'm not too far off.

 

[UnderTheSign]

Especially if one didn't sign up for the open relationship.

An open relationship is only open if it is agreed upon by both parties. If it isn't then it's just cheating.

Exactly. And agreeing upon it "because she'll do it anyway" is not a good idea

As for how well they work... I've seen good and I've seen bad. When compared I think I've seen relatively more monogamous relationships fail than poly. It might not be everyones cup of tea (not mine either) but might be for some people.

 

[Cabinet]

I always imagine if one person is getting more on the side than the other, that it can lead to bitterness. Judging by the people I've known that were in open relationships, I'm not too far off.

Well, it is easier for women to find a willing male to have sex with. From a very basic but entirely true standpoint.

 

[no_dice]

Well, it is easier for women to find a willing male to have sex with. From a very basic but entirely true standpoint.

I don't think many people will dispute that.

 

[Konfyouzd]

Exactly. And agreeing upon it "because she'll do it anyway" is not a good idea

As for how well they work... I've seen good and I've seen bad. When compared I think I've seen relatively more monogamous relationships fail than poly. It might not be everyones cup of tea (not mine either) but might be for some people.

To be fair, one is more common than the other because we're indoctrinated to believe that one is inherently more right than the other. The more common one is bound to see more failures for the simple fact that it's more common.

 

[CrushingAnvil]

Told the girl I've had a major thing for since high school how I felt.

Got the most underwhelming 'I don't know what to say to that because I think you're weird' response.

 

[asher]

To be fair, one is more common than the other because we're indoctrinated to believe that one is inherently more right than the other. The more common one is bound to see more failures for the simple fact that it's more common.

Yeah. We're not really wired for monogamy.

 

[CrushingAnvil]

"Well I think you're a nice guy and I like talking to you but that's as far as it goes.."

Funny that. That's always as far as it goes.

I am now just a device that resembles a human which turns grief into fury.

 

[CrushingAnvil]

"Ohhh don't be so down on yourself"

>telling me that after 7 years of WHAT YOU JUST SAID TO ME

 

[UnderTheSign]

To be fair, one is more common than the other because we're indoctrinated to believe that one is inherently more right than the other. The more common one is bound to see more failures for the simple fact that it's more common.

Hence 'relatively. I agree though, had the majority of society been polygamous we'd see more failures in those relationships. Was mostly responding to the "there's a reason they almost never work out" post.

 

[Santuzzo]

@Crushing Anvil:
like others have said, no matter how much it may hurt you right now, move on, your life will change for the better, trust me.
I think you can forgive her and you should, but to me that does not mean giving her a 2nd chance with you. Forgiving her is something you should do for your own sake, so you are at peace. Now, this may take a while, but eventually you will be able to forgive.

 

[AndruwX]

If your heart is broken and you're reading this, I want you to know that I love you, internet person.

 

[vilk]

Told the girl I've had a major thing for since high school how I felt.

There's your mistake. Life isn't a movie--it's usually not a great idea to up and confess your secret love to someone. A love confession is like an ultimatum. Feelings aren't so black and white for everyone. Maybe you're white (you really like her) but she's grey, and she might like you or she might not, but either way when you're on the spot it's easier to go with the sure thing... which is "no".

If you had a time rewinder, I would say that you needed to go back and ease your way in instead of just kicking down the door. If it were me, I would at least have tried kissing her when we were drunk or something. Or tried flirting with her more obviously. More likely the former. In these situations you can at least gauge the reaction and then realize oh, maybe I don't want to tell this girl my feelings... and maybe I should get new, different feelings....

But you don't have a time rewinder, probably. So... you done goofed. But, I will at least say that I've personally seen the scenario play out to where even though things are awkward for a while you eventually can still be friends. If that's even what you want. It helps the process along if she can see you trying to get with other girls and not acting like her friendzoned manbitch. Heck, it might even make her jealous and decide that she does like you after all!


..........................



In other news, I am such an ass. Or am I? Last night I finally get some time to myself and I go to the bar down the street, I get home, and call my girlfriend before I go to sleep.

For those of you who remember, yes it's the same girl and we haven't broken up. We've talked about it a ton of times in the last year, usually end up fighting, crying, hugging, making up, and then continuing on with our lives without having made any actual resolution to the problem of me moving home this May.

Anyways, it's like the only god damn thing we ever talk about. I'm so sick of it. We've been talking about it for a year, there's no clear solution, we're just going to have to break up and get on with our lives, but what's the point of doing it now instead of in 2 months when we are actually separated from each other? I think she thinks that if she keeps bringing it up that I'm going to give her some other answer, like "Ok let's get married so you can get a visa and come with me!", but it's not going to happen. So we can hardly end 2 nights a week without someone feeling upset about it. You know, I'm not thrilled either to leave a girl that I like this much, but I've made my decision and I'm sticking to it. I'm able to just live for the moment and enjoy what time we have left, but obviously she's not managing so well because all she ever does is bring it up. The way she speaks makes it seem like what happens to her is my responsibility, and sometimes I even find myself believing it until I realize--no, everyone is living his own life, and you're the one who chose to stay with me knowing full and well that I wont be here someday. I've been honest about the fact that I'm not sticking around since day 1. Do I really owe this girl something simply for being in a relationship with her? What? and how much? Is there actually anything I can do aside from staying in Japan or marrying her and bringing her to America? because honestly I don't want to do either of those! I wont! We both like spending time together and doing things together, and we've come this far... would there be any point in ending it approximately 60 days earlier than we need to? What's the meaning in 60 days?

Anyways, back to the point, I have this problem of being too... honest? when I've had a few. So I'm laying in my room in bed in the dark drunk and talking to my girlfriend when the same conversation we have every night pinky--try to take over the world! and though my memory if fuzzy I'm quite sure that I said something along the lines of "I don't see any possible way that you and I are going to be together in America". Which, of course, I've said many times before! However, she was responding with something... and then I wake up and it's the next day. I literally fell asleep while she was talking to me.

Hence, I am an ass. And she's not responding to me. I'd say it's for the best but I actually do feel really bad because even though I'm going to leave this girl, I would never intentionally do something so rude as to fall asleep on the phone with someone trying earnestly to talk to me about something serious. She knew I had been drinking...