SS Love and Relationships Thread

[naw38]

So, I kind of fully admitted to myself that I have... feelings, for an old friend of mine. I discovered this whilst drinking with her one night. Every time that we drink together, we end up talking about how much it sucks that we never got to get together, but we've always spoken about this as if it were in the past and it could never be.

Well, a few nights after that, I drunkenly showed up at her house with another friend of mine, dragged her out of the house and away from her boyfriend, to work out what the exact situation is between us. I can't remember what she said. It was a typically bad move on my part.

Ever since then, I think she's been cold towards me - it's hard to say, because our only method of communication is Facebook, what with us living in separate countries.

The other problem is, she is not my wife. I'm well aware that I am in fact, a massive piece of shit and should just get her out of my head. Nonetheless. I can't. So I don't know what to do. Probably nothing.

Ugh. Emotions.

 

[AngstRiddenDreams]

Just broke up with my girlfriend of 3 and a half years. First serious relationship I've ever been in. I'll elaborate more later when I get out of my English class; this shit cuts deep bros.

 

[AngstRiddenDreams]

Okay so here it goes:
I got with my girlfriend my Freshman year in high school. We were friends for a long time, and eventually started dating. We had been together for three and a half years and during that time had almost broken up twice because of me smoking pot. She absolutely detests all forms of partying.
Now I'd also like to say that it is not the only reason we broke up. I've noticed that lately, last couple months, I've really felt distant. I still love her though, which makes this so tough. I've began to realize though that we are completely different personality types, I am extremely outgoing and she is not. I want to live my life, have fun, party, go on extended camping trips, and she wants no part of that.
So we both mutually decided that beings it had caused problems in the past, it will likely continue to cause them.
It feels so surreal, I try to look on the bright side, but I still love her. I just honestly feel like if we were to stay together that I would always regret not doing the things I want.
But I want her too...uggggggghhhhhhh

 

[flint757]

Those feelings will fade. Y'all both made the right decision. Assuming y'all have 'something' in common it isn't like y'all can't be friends still. Doesn't sound like a bad breakup either way.

 

[vilk]

Freshman year plus... 3.5 years equals... oh, you're about to go to college? Perfect timing dude. You don't want to be dating someone who hates fun when you go away to school. (actually imho you don't want to be dating anyone when you go away to school hehe)

 

[AngstRiddenDreams]

I was actually planning on moving in with her as I'm just going to the community college in my town.

 

[vilk]

Dude, then you don't even know the bullet you just dodged. Living with a woman is not so bad, but young adulthood is the time that should designated for you to learn how to be independent.

 

[Konfyouzd]

Truth

 

[AngstRiddenDreams]

Dude, then you don't even know the bullet you just dodged. Living with a woman is not so bad, but young adulthood is the time that should designated for you to learn how to be independent.

This is so tough. She wants me to stay.


I appreciate it you guys. +rep

 

[vilk]

You can be independent and still have a girlfriend. I just think moving in with her would be a bad idea. If any moving in is going to happen I suggest you do it with a male friend.

I know you're not going away to college, but if you and a buddy have jobs and work regularly enough you'll be able to throw together a bachelor pad and it would probably be a really good experience.

All I'm saying is I wouldn't be half as grown up as I am (probably) if I hadn't moved out out of my parents house when I was 18. You gotta learn how to shop, cook, clean, manage your time and budget, loads of stuff that doesn't seem fun but actually makes you feel good because you can feel a sense of independence--and the sooner you learn the better!

 

[Grand Moff Tim]

Alright. Prior to now I had been loathe to come in here to whine about petty relationship nonsense, since let's face it, my "problems" pale in front of some if the shit my SSO homies have gone through. However, I need to fvcking vent.

There's a Korean chick I know here. She's a nurse who I met when I was in the hospital for my knee surgery. I got dem digits while I was there (mad game, son), and we've gone out to dinner a number of times since then, and caught a movie once. Sometimes I'll go a couple weeks without any contact, but then she randomly texts me, sometimes late at night, to see how I've been. She says she wants to start going on walks with me in the city. She asked her mom to help her teach me how to cook Korean food. She says she wants to hear me play guitar someday. She says she'd like to go out to the expat bars with me sometime.

Sounds good, right? Surely she's in to me, n'est-ce pas? Weeeeellllll...

We were out eating dinner tonight at an Indian restaurant popular with expats. It was going well, and I thought we were clicking even more than usual. At one point, though, an American couple came in. When she saw them, she said "I hope you can find an American girlfriend someday."

You know that sound Pac-Man makes when he dies? I'm pretty sure that's the sound my soul made.

I said "I'm not really interested in American girls. I'd rather have a Korean girlfriend." (Subtle, amirite?)
Her response: "Oh. I think that would be difficult."

WTF. What the actual fvck. What. In. The. Goddamned. Fvck.

Am I just terrible at reading signals? Are cultural difference so vast that what I perceived to be signs of interest were actually just normal human behavior here? Goddammit. I'm confused, frustrated, a little angry, and increasingly despondent.

Ay. Mujeres. Ustedes saben.

 

[JeffFromMtl]

Shit dudes, I think I'm falling for a girl. There have been a bunch of girls over the last couple of years that I could never justify committing to, so I've just had casual relationship after casual relationship - to the point that my commitment issues would be the butt of many jokes my close friends and roommates would make about my relationships. These girls would all eventually give up on me because I didn't make any effort in maintaining anything due to my insane work and school schedule, which left me almost no time for any sort of social life.

What happened is how these things always seem to happen with me. It was a girl that I had hooked up with a couple of times over a year ago, then just sort of lost touch with until Christmas. I initially hooked up with her because she's insanely hot, and I had myself convinced that that was the only reason I liked her. She came across as a little bit of an air head, really. And that's just not the kind of girl I ever really saw myself with and as stupid as it sounds, I was worried that my friends would judge me for that.

Anyway, we reconnected around Christmas this year when she sent me a message on Facebook. We got to hang out once, then I spent New Years eve with her, before she took off to France the next day, and now she's there until late June. As much as I hate text messaging - really, when I can't see someone face-to-face on a regular basis, it's impossible for me to maintain a relationship or even friendship - I promised her that I would keep in touch, and we've been texting almost daily for the last month and a half. I just began realizing a couple of weeks ago the kind of effort I'm putting in and the fact that I look forward to just hearing from her more more than I even look forward to seeing/sleeping with one of my casual flings here at home. So it dawned on me. I actually like her. Like, her, as a person. And so now I have a skype date with her this afternoon (it's the first time I'm using skype) for valentines day when, I could just as easily be out getting some.

All this to say, holy shit. I actually think I like a girl enough. It's been a long time - well over 2 years now, since I liked a girl enough to commit to, and now I'm texting a girl daily, sending her care packages in the mail to remedy her homesickness, skyping her for valentines day and talking about getting a plane ticket to go see her in France in a couple of months. I don't even recognize myself anymore

 

[icos211]

Alright. Prior to now I had been loathe to come in here to whine about petty relationship nonsense, since let's face it, my "problems" pale in front of some if the shit my SSO homies have gone through. However, I need to fvcking vent.

There's a Korean chick I know here. She's a nurse who I met when I was in the hospital for my knee surgery. I got dem digits while I was there (mad game, son), and we've gone out to dinner a number of times since then, and caught a movie once. Sometimes I'll go a couple weeks without any contact, but then she randomly texts me, sometimes late at night, to see how I've been. She says she wants to start going on walks with me in the city. She asked her mom to help her teach me how to cook Korean food. She says she wants to hear me play guitar someday. She says she'd like to go out to the expat bars with me sometime.

Sounds good, right? Surely she's in to me, n'est-ce pas? Weeeeellllll...

We were out eating dinner tonight at an Indian restaurant popular with expats. It was going well, and I thought we were clicking even more than usual. At one point, though, an American couple came in. When she saw them, she said "I hope you can find an American girlfriend someday."

You know that sound Pac-Man makes when he dies? I'm pretty sure that's the sound my soul made.

I said "I'm not really interested in American girls. I'd rather have a Korean girlfriend." (Subtle, amirite?)
Her response: "Oh. I think that would be difficult."

WTF. What the actual fvck. What. In. The. Goddamned. Fvck.

Am I just terrible at reading signals? Are cultural difference so vast that what I perceived to be signs of interest were actually just normal human behavior here? Goddammit. I'm confused, frustrated, a little angry, and increasingly despondent.

Ay. Mujeres. Ustedes saben.

You should probably lay something on the line. Just be like "Hey, I really like spending time with you, and I think we connect really well. I've been thinking a lot lately about what it would be like if we took it to the next level." Something along those lines. And as for the "that would be difficult", you should counter with "Nothing good ever comes easy." That would be some When Harry Met Sally level shit right there.

 

[Konfyouzd]

At this point I'm almost certain everyone on dating sites just posts pics of themselves and copy/pastes a random other person's details. Every profile I read sounds like the same exact person...

"I'm passionate about my job, laughing, reading and living life."

Really. Lemme guess... You like breathing too, huh?

That aside I've decided--as a result of spending lots of time with my niece lately--that I adore children but don't like people once they leave this stage of life. Not in a weird creepy way but more like I'm not so much opposed to having a child as I am to the idea of having to involve someone else in the matter.

Maybe I can pay someone to just carry it, deliver it and get outa my face. There's gotta be a website for that right?

 

[icos211]

At this point I'm almost certain everyone on dating sites just posts pics of themselves and copy/pastes a random other person's details. Every profile I read sounds like the same exact person...

"I'm passionate about my job, laughing, reading and living life."

Really. Lemme guess... You like breathing too, huh?

That aside I've decided--as a result of spending lots of time with my niece lately--that I adore children but don't like people once they leave this stage of life. Not in a weird creepy way but more like I'm not so much opposed to having a child as I am to the idea of having to involve someone else in the matter.

Maybe I can pay someone to just carry it, deliver it and get outa my face. There's gotta be a website for that right?

Single men adopting children has become more accepted in recent years, however it is generally semi-older children and basically exclusively boys. This is for kind of obvious reasons, but also because couples are far more likely to adopt infants and generally more likely to adopt girls. Once I get to a computer, I'll post a Jim Jeffries video that is quite pertinent

I honestly can't wait to have kids. Well, one kid that is. The thing is, I would much rather have a girl, but, as the last male of my family, my family name will end if I don't have a boy. Thus, I want to have a lesbian daughter so that when she marries another woman she can keep the family name and the other girl can change hers. Then their kids will still have my name and the family can continue, while I still get to raise a girl . I don't know, does hoping to have a gay child make me weird?

 

[Murmel]

^
What?

Is there some kind of law that you must take the man's name after a wedding?

 

[JoshuaVonFlash]

^
What?

Is there some kind of law that you must take the man's name after a wedding?

Not that I know of, it's purely optional. I think he means kids usually take the father's last name but parents can give both their last names to their children if the woman wants to carry on her last name. But if it's a single mother the child takes her last name.

 

[kamello]

At this point I'm almost certain everyone on dating sites just posts pics of themselves and copy/pastes a random other person's details. Every profile I read sounds like the same exact person...

"I'm passionate about my job, laughing, reading and living life."

Really. Lemme guess... You like breathing too, huh?

ughhhh, same shit with the new students at my Uni, we arranged a Facebook group for them so they don't arrive so lost at the campus and meet some people beforehand, but everyone present themselves like that

 

[Murmel]

Not that I know of, it's purely optional. I think he means kids usually take the father's last name but parents can give both their last names to their children if the woman wants to carry on her last name. But if it's a single mother the child takes her last name.

I know it's sort of tradition, but I think it's a really stupid tradition.

My kid is gonna have the name that sounds best with his/her name, or the cooler of the two. Hell, if I like my future partners last name I'm totally changing to that.

 

[Konfyouzd]

Ermagherd... That's like progressive... Communist pig...