The dont's of live performance

[eleven59]

Thats why they kicked him out/he left and the rest of the band went on to form Stone Gods

That is SIGNIFICANTLY better.

On covers, i saw a really badass cover of Bulls On Parade (RATM) by 'The Warriors'. It was done as a full on hardcore song with throat tearing screaming. It was really fuckin cool to watch.

There's a local metal band with a girl singer that does the same thing with "The Trooper" (Iron Maiden, as if anyone didn't know).

 

[DarkKnight369]

I saw something this weekend that made me laugh but was actually really sad. My band was playing another band's CD release party up in a south Chicago suburb. The first band to take the stage seemed quite amateur. Crappy gear, crappy wireless, plus they just looked awkward on stage.

Anyway, a few songs into the set the bass player (who looks like he didn't want to be there from the start) pulls out his wallet and starts counting his money mid song. He just stopped playing bass and counted his money. I was in awe. Two songs later, someone brings him a cheeseburger and he stops playing again in the middle of a song to eat the thing.

I mean, if you aren't going to at least act like you care, why should the audience?

 

[Ojinomoto]

^ That right there is a whole new low. How old did they look?

 

[Naren]

I saw something this weekend that made me laugh but was actually really sad. My band was playing another band's CD release party up in a south Chicago suburb. The first band to take the stage seemed quite amateur. Crappy gear, crappy wireless, plus they just looked awkward on stage.

Anyway, a few songs into the set the bass player (who looks like he didn't want to be there from the start) pulls out his wallet and starts counting his money mid song. He just stopped playing bass and counted his money. I was in awe. Two songs later, someone brings him a cheeseburger and he stops playing again in the middle of a song to eat the thing.

I mean, if you aren't going to at least act like you care, why should the audience?

Woooow. If you were a comedy band, it might work if you had little breaks where the bass wouldn't play. For example, the guitar and bass play a little riff and then it's just drums and in that break, the bass player takes a bite out of a cheeseburger and then starts playing again right where the guitar comes in. Then in the interval takes another bite out of the cheeseburger. That would be kind of funny. What that guy was doing was just ridiculous. In fact, I would be annoyed at my bass player if he wasn't playing during practice. I'd ask him what's wrong. Live? Eating a cheeseburger? Counting your money? If the dude didn't want to be there that much, why hasn't he quit the band yet? Geeez.

 

[DarkKnight369]

Yeah the band was awful. They were pretty amateur. The sound guys would set up stuff, then go drink at the bar. Well the singer decided his mic was feeding back too much (because he wasn't holding it right) so he grabbed one of the backup vocal mics. They were turned down as they should be, so you couldn't hear him for the second half of their set, not that it was a bad thing.

 

[Shreddy Krueger]

Rule # 324 :

Speaking from personal experience, nothing positive can come from drinking multiple bottles of MAD DOG 20/20 prior to your set...

 

[JJ Rodriguez]

Don't do what Donnie Don't does.

 

[7 Dying Trees]

I can't believe this thread is still going!

 

[Edroz]

I can't believe this thread is still going!

why not? it's a good thread man

 

[ire_works]

don't do a wall of death when there no stage and you're playing at floor level with people.

i learned this 2 weeks ago the hard way.

 

[right_to_rage]

If you are playing in front of an audience who has never heard for you before don't forget to say the name of the next song.

Don't forget to look at your band mates, crowds love when bands look like their jamming out together.

Don't wear the same shirt as your band mates unless you have some congruent, but good theme going (like a band of death metal snuggies, or zoro masks).

Don't be afraid to give out free shit to people in the front row, even if you yourself got it for free.

Try your best not to trip over chords, passionately kneeling lead singers, or microphones. I have done them all.

Don't drop your pick mid-solo, done that too.

 

[MorbidTravis]

dont battle with the monitor engineer for more sound. you can and will piss them off if you try hard enough.

 

[metulkult]

Start masturbating in the middle of a song

 

[jaretthale78]

Start masturbating in the middle of a song

/thread

 

[Soubi7string]

NEVER under and circumstances play Grandpas guitars.

If you were a woman I'd make love to you feverishly

 

[TasmanSam]

Dont wear your own bands shirt on stage! I fucking hate it!

 

[Cadavuh]

^Dave Mustaine comes to mind

 

[Soubi7string]

lmao he has done that hasn't he?

don't act like you're slayer in a venue the size of your thumb
cause even if you do no one is going to act like you are.

Choreographed windmills and ass squats
I hate it, choreographed anything I hate it

singers, none of the running in place with your hand out acting like you're a wimpy ass football player

bands...you play a seven you better PLAY EVERY STRING
stop giving the 7 string a bad name and stop riding JUST the top 3 strings

don't start a song over if ya'll fuck up
just keep going or improvise

if you have a burrito on stage stick it on the headstock and eat as you play

don't piss yourself on stage

don't try playing bass with your penis
even if it IS a deformed child

 

[DaveCarter]

A few gems from the band I just quit...


Do not try to submix the band down to a stereo pair from the stage. Thats for the sound engineer to do from the mixing desk since he can actually hear your FOH sound, you cant. He has the desk, its his job, not yours!

When everyone who knows anything about the basics of live sound agrees with the above statement, dont ignore them insisting that you know best!

Do not attempt to use a video projector that hasnt been used in over 10 years, without actually testing it first. If you dont have time to test it out, dont use it. On stage at an important gig with an audience thats waiting for you to start, is not the time or the place to try and do this.

If your band use samples with a click track, make sure your drummer is actually getting the click before you start the show. If its your job to plug his in-ears cable in, actually remember to do it.

If youre the drummer in such a band, do not stop playing. Ever. Whatever parts of the kit fall apart or need adjusting, do not, fucking, stop.

If youve designed a stupidly complicated live setup involving a laptop and multiple soundcards, then its your responsibility to make sure that it actually works, and doesnt cause problems at every single gig and the majority of rehearsals.

Do not turn up to a gig with a 10ft cable and complain that you cant really go anywhere on stage. Your problem, not mine.

Do not continue to do the above for almost a year, until the band eventually just give you a 20ft cable because you were too useless to go and buy one yourself.

Learn to tune your own fucking instrument, its not my job.

If you dont have your own transport and/or equipment then its your responsibility to make sure there's actually going to be equipment there for you to use. Dont assume you can just turn up and plug in to someone else's amp without having asked them first.

Do not try to run any stage mics through soundcards and processors before they hit the desk if youve not had a chance to properly test this out beforehand. No time to test it? Then dont do it.

If the band has agreed on a specific look or dress code then make sure everyone actually does it. Thats, everyone. Not everyone that can be bothered, everyone.


Thats just a taster of life in my ex-band. Add in a similar list for rehearsals, and another list for band promotion, and youre starting to get a rough idea of why I eventually quit


Oh and one from the band before that:

Do not allow some fuckwit soundengineer to try and DI your guitar signal before it hits your amp, and use this clean DI as your FOH feed instead of micing the cab like youre FUCKING WELL SUPPOSED TO DO!!! Moron....

Enough ranting for one day

 

[JohnIce]

Although it's not incredibly essential, bringing a backup guitar and a few cables (1/4" and XLR, Midi if you use it) is a very good thing. Bringing an extra guitar can be a hassle but if something does fuck up at least you know you have a guitar you're comfortable with, it's already onstage with you, and you don't have to bother any other band to lend you their gear.

This is especially important if you use a non-average tuning or an ERG... I once lent out my standard-tuned PRS Custom to a guitarist who broke his string, and when I got it back it was tuned to something like G#ADGBD... so I have to spend the first minutes of gig-time tuning back up and getting it to settle again, then while we were playing the band left and I never got so much as a thanks.

If you tune to standard and know the other bands on the bill, fine, leave out the backup guitar... but borrowing a complete stranger's guitar and tuning it to shit is not cool.