The dont's of live performance

[Soubi7string]

I hate it when some guy from a band decides to insult another band while playing live. Like the guy from Municipal Waste who said, between songs, that Disturbed is crap and their fans are crap. If you're so sure of that, put on a good show and prove you can do better, then!

I also hate it when someone doesn't know how to control the feedback from their guitar, and all you hear during the concert is the feedback squeal.

Dude my friends band was playing their set and we got done before them and dude from another band started talkin shit even though his band had to do he following in order to play:
Borrow my amp and my pedals
Borrow our bass amp
And after a bass string popped they asked to borrow in the midst of a song our bassists bass

 

[SargeantVomit]

I hate it when band members spit. It's disgusting.

There's a band that came through here on tour once and all the members had a game where they try and spit into the other guys mouths on stage while trying not to get spit on by the other members. They were all horkin' loogies at each other the entire set it was hilarious. Can't remember their name but it was great.

 

[Guamskyy]

There's a band that came through here on tour once and all the members had a game where they try and spit into the other guys mouths on stage while trying not to get spit on by the other members. They were all horkin' loogies at each other the entire set it was hilarious. Can't remember their name but it was great.

That's just weird I meant spit at the crowd.

 

[ZEBOV]

Attention lead vocalists that don't also play an instrument: Get your hand of of the mic's grill, which is really called the diaphragm. That is where the air passes through when you sing, and when you touch it, you fuck up your sound.
While you're holding onto the mic, don't let your arm hang between lines or you'll cause feedback through the monitors.

Those of you who play an instrument, bring your amps and instrument cables if no one has told you that you can borrow their stuff. If you are a solo acoustic act, bring an instrument cable if your guitar is acoutic/electric.
Tune your instrument BEFORE the show starts.

Those of you who like to spin your guitar or bass around your body, this video should teach you a lesson..... Make sure you have the space to do so.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnl6QHd-G28

 

[Soubi7string]

Attention lead vocalists that don't also play an instrument: Get your hand of of the mic's grill, which is really called the diaphragm. That is where the air passes through when you sing, and when you touch it, you fuck up your sound.
While you're holding onto the mic, don't let your arm hang between lines or you'll cause feedback through the monitors.

Those of you who play an instrument, bring your amps and instrument cables if no one has told you that you can borrow their stuff. If you are a solo acoustic act, bring an instrument cable if your guitar is acoutic/electric.
Tune your instrument BEFORE the show starts.

Those of you who like to spin your guitar or bass around your body, this video should teach you a lesson..... Make sure you have the space to do so.

LMFAO
NEVER EVER GO GG ALLIN APESHIT SINGERS!!!
the results are bad...ver very very very very very very bad

 

[Jedi Pirate]

Oh yes, I don't have a band/gigged anywhere, but this thread has DEFINITELY offered some great advice. Great job guys!

 

[Encephalon5]

thats terrible! ha, like that band the darkness. ever see them live? Ultra Vneck zebra jumpsuit FTL

GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY WOMAN MUTHAFUHUKUHAAAUUUAAAHHH

 

[Cabinet]

I hate when the singer tries to get into politics and religious opinions. I remember seeing a band that wrote a song called "Scientology fucking sucks". I understand you don't like Scientology, or you're an ultra liberal who hates Bush, but keep it off the fucking stage. I didn't show up to listen to you get all intellectual, you have plenty of time off stage to do that.

The singer of the band I use to work with would talk about our songs dedicated to people who have been "hurt" and occasionally try to force Satanism down everyone's throat. He's a good example of someone who has no idea what they're doing and somehow he manages to do all these things that everyone hates in this thread, besides getting drunk.

Man that guy was a tool.

 

[The Munk]

I'm sorry, but I ain't letting ANY local bands who I don't personally know WELL use any of my gear. And they sure as HELL ain't touching any settings on my amp.

When Division came to MI, Kevin and I let them use our cabs. But that's about the extent of it, because we knew them and all. But other local bands should have their own shit. If you don't, that's YOUR problem... not mine.

I sure as HELL wouldn't let them use a guitar either. My Randy gets played by ME! Fuck me running if I'm gonna let some assclown run around on stage with my baby and fuck it up by banging it into something. HELL NO!

I can't even believe people would have the audacity to ask such a thing.

Seconded. People showing up to a show, not prepared, are likely the same ones that will show up late, push all the set times out, and later hit on your wife! (The only acception being a clubs rules, like The Viper Room.)

If you can't invest in your own 'tools of the trade', you should not be playing live. If you can not invest in yourself, why should anyone in any audience?

Other DO NOTS:

• Do Not vandalize/ disrespect house equipment or establishments.
• Do Not mess with other acts gear or use it as a drink stand.
• Do Not try sneaking in under aged people into 21+ establishments.
• Do not try to sell home burned CD's of your material that are scribed with sharpie, light scribed, or labeled.
• Do not tell the crowd to assault that one douche in the pit. They don't need your prompt.
• Do not throw anything into the crowd. (Serious liability. Sean Yseult chucked one of those big ass triangular bass picks like a shuriken and ripped me dead between my eyes. Fortunately it wasn't one of Tempesta's drum sticks.)
• Do Not hog merch space.
• Do Not bring banners larger than required for the venue.
• Do Not book a gig until you are ALL ready.

 

[Soubi7string]

[*]Do not try to sell home burned CD's of your material that are light scribed

ummm why not Light Scribed CD's that look pro?
I mean dude money is tough as it is for a band and Merch is all that can really help.So, I gotta disagree with that one man

 

[The Munk]

ummm why not Light Scribed CD's that look pro?
I mean dude money is tough as it is for a band and Merch is all that can really help.So, I gotta disagree with that one man

It just looks cheesy. A few more bucks will get real printed discs.
Better to give them out as free feelers with web links on them where people can then explore further and pay for downloads. But, as you refer to 'money is tough', for patrons to PAY for stuff like that?

A more professional approach imo.

 

[Path]

• Do Not mess with other acts gear or use it as a drink stand.

some chump from the support band did this at our last show, the stage was more than big enough for all 3 bands playing, we sound checked second, followed by the 1st band on, i set up my gear, cab/head/wireless system, sound checked, then pushed my stuff to the back of the stage, it was set up still, jus moved out of the way.

I then went to pick up my Mrs from the train station, came back during the 1st bands set (traffic), only to find when we go on, someone had dismantled all my gear, pilled all my cables into a neat little bowl of spegghetti, and unplugged my amp from the socked while the power was still on.

fkin chump.

 

[tacotiklah]

I have a few don'ts

DON'T
-Wait until your band arrives at the gig, then decide at the last second:
"Oh, well since we're a bigger band, we're gonna force your band to go last when you've been telling everyone you're the 2nd to last band up."
I don't care how awesome your band is, doing last second changes like that fucks my band up and pisses me off. Don't do this anymore please.

-Let one of your band members be an absolute dick to other bands (especially mine). Seriously, if that guy has a beef with people in other bands, tell him to just go wait outside instead of shit-talking other bands while they play (especially mine and especially while I'm announcing that we have some demos for sale). If he keeps doing this, have the decency to fire him please. Otherwise my band just won't book shows with yours anymore. I'm sure you won't care, and not having us on the same bill won't hurt your performance/sales any really, but good friendships are hard to find....

- try to get all your gear to the venue using just one vehicle. My band has tried this and it is so time consuming. Unfortunately, this was what we were stuck with since the other people that said they'd help us flaked out on us. In addition to this, don't be the band member who's supposed to be driving all this crap to the venue and instead spends 90 minutes sitting around at home getting drunk/running errands/etc. Do that crap on your own time the day before and/or after everything is unloaded and ready to go (provided you're not playing until later that night and have an early load-in time).

- wait until your band is up in 2 songs to start putting together the drum set. I really need to ride my drummer to stop doing this.

- avoid warming up on the guitar if you think your fingers need it. If you just sit there without a solid warmup before you play, your fingers will be stiff and you'll be missing/hitting wrong notes everywhere, fucking up the show for your bandmates. This may lead to an ass beating/evil eyes after the show.

- leave your wah pedal on for a whole song because you didn't bother to practice turning your pedals on/off quickly before a show. If this is a real problem, ditch the dunlop wah and buy a morley one that turns off when you step off it.

- do/book last second gigs if/when you can help it. This will lead to mass confusion (for both fans and band members), little to no promotion prior to gig, almost no info (making promotion a nightmare), and being stuck playing crap time slots. Your goal is to show your band in it's best light and it's pretty damn hard to do if you just haphazardly throw shows together while putting almost no thought into it.

- overplay your band. (this is for we local circuit dweebs) I know it sounds like you're really dedicated if you're playing 3-4 gigs a week, but if your fan base only gets paid once every 2 weeks, then it makes it difficult for them to see your band play every show. In this case, it makes more financial sense to try to schedule your gigs alongside when your fans get paid. Your sales (both merch and tix) will be higher (allowing you to do the better gigs and get the better merch) and more people will be able to attend your shows.
I recall seeing an interview with Century Media records regarding getting signed and they pretty much summarized that all they care about is seeing people buy records and attend your shows. They don't care about talent or production quality, all they wanna see is that you can make $$$.
While most of us (myself included) don't do this just to make money and/or have fame, you have to have some sort of business sense or else you'll be stuck playing in your garage 25 years down the road.

- be a dick to anyone at any time. This pertains to a live setting because people tend to remember negative things about you more than positive, and most local scenes are pretty small, so the odds of running into that guy you were an ass to at a show you're playing at are pretty high. Nothing sucks more than when you're trying to build interest in your band's set, and that guy is running around shit-talking you and your band over some drama that happened in the past. However, if you're a cool, easygoing guy, your band will be one of the first that come to mind when a promoter needs a band to fill a slot.

- forget your setlist. Seriously, am I the only guy that actually remembers the songnames (and I didn't even name the songs)? Stop looking at me to remind you what songs we're playing next. Especially when I made sure to go over those with you before we went up on stage. Take this shit seriously please.

 

[Double A]

Don't show up late and therefore set up late and cut our set time by half. Break a string, have no back up guitar, ask to use mine (I had just bought a Gibson Les Paul DC, I know some do not like Gibson but this guitar is awesome, anyways, I just payed $2100 for it the week before) when I let you use it please do not proceed to do crappy windmills giving me a heart attack and then play your last song with 5 shitty improvised breakdowns cutting our set by a further 15 minutes. I know it is a small venue but we booked it and we are splitting it with you. There is a reason your band stopped getting shows. I have also never let anyone play my guitars ever again.

 

[blister7321]

this happened last week
this kid books a show in his back fucking yard right
so he proceeds to allow a walk in to play an acoustic and sing before the 2 headliners
dont do that

also dont come to the bands you booked asking them what to do about the gig YOU FUCKING BOOKED

dont play in a place were jazz bands play on an open mic night when your expected to use house gear
punk on a setting for free form jazz basses doesnt work (found that out the hard way)

 

[Arrogance]

Just so you guys know, this is a great, hilarious, and useful thread.
Keep it going.

 

[SjPedro]

in all of this i am afraid of repeating anything but I will say it anyway.
Prior to a gig. Let's say you have 1 hour to play. Rehearse with the band music to cover that one hour or a bit less and time it correctly so that when the time for the actual gig is upon you, you don't overdue your scheduled time...or go too short on the time.
Make sure you have enough time to address the audience and not just play one song after the other and little to no interaction.
If we all did this, all bands would have the time to get their music out in the same venue even if time is against them

 

[Soubi7string]

as a band it is your job to get your shit off and on that stage as quick as possible
so
DON'T STAND AROUND AND TALK

 

[Treeunit212]

[*]Do Not vandalize/ disrespect house equipment or establishments.

I remember the Summer of 09' this band called KING from Flint, MI came up to Northern Michigan to play a show. My band opened for them and as we were finishing up getting our equipment off the stage, we asked their bassist if it was okay to leave our stage box (for standing on) there. He said it was fine and so we stood back to watch their set.

The second they start, the vocalist smashes his foot through the box and punches a hole in the wall. The fight that followed got two of the members arrested, and they even brought a fire truck to block the exit so they couldn't get away.

Moral is: Don't destroy a venue if you ever want to play within 100 miles of it again.

 

[RaceCar]

I know this is a bumped thread, but I just read through about 7 pages of it, and it is GREAT!!!!!!!!!

My 2 biggest pet peeves:

1. When the frontman gets political. Not everywhere shares the same beliefs as you bro, careful what you say or you could lose about half your fans. Keep it musical. If I want to get political I'll watch TV or go online.

2. When the frontman insults the crowd. This has been previously mentioned, nothing makes fans want to leave and hate that band forever more than this.