The "Stupid Stuff the Audience Says" Thread

[LeviathanKiller]

After a show.

Kid: Hey what kind of pickups are those in your guitar? I like your tone. And i need new pups for my guitar.

Me: Oh, they are SD Blackouts.

Kid: OHHHHH....i don't want a black metal sound i guess ill just buy EMG's



I don't even play anything close to black metal...so i would like to know how he came to the conclusion they sounded 'black metal'. I was in a metalcorish band at the time.

rofl

This reminds me of the time I went to a concert and the guys had just finished their set and they were packing up their stuff to let the next guys have the stage. I went up to the guitarist and was asking him about his gear and what patch he used on his RP500 cause it sounded amazing. Anyways, I asked him about his pickups or told him something and I had saw that they were EMGs. I was like oh those are active pickups right? And he was like oh no, these aren't active pickups. I'm pretty darn sure they weren't the EMG-HZ so I was laughing inside my head thinking what's he gonna do when the power runs out?

 

[cwhitey2]

rofl

This reminds me of the time I went to a concert and the guys had just finished their set and they were packing up their stuff to let the next guys have the stage. I went up to the guitarist and was asking him about his gear and what patch he used on his RP500 cause it sounded amazing. Anyways, I asked him about his pickups or told him something and I had saw that they were EMGs. I was like oh those are active pickups right? And he was like oh no, these aren't active pickups. I'm pretty darn sure they weren't the EMG-HZ so I was laughing inside my head thinking what's he gonna do when the power runs out?

Guy i know: "Oh tubes never fail, you should never have to replace them."

A week later.

Guy i know: Dude...it was tube!!!! So I bought this. (Proceeds to show me a single preamp tube)

Me: ....it never ended up being a tube...just really shitty EQing on his end.

 

[danieluber1337]

I was at one of Opeth's shows on their recent tour...

This guys, drunk as FUCK! Some quotes:

"AMERICA!!!!!"
"DEMON OF THE FALL!!!!"
"PEARL JAM COVER BAND!!!!"
"SUCK MY ASS... AND LICK MY NUUUUUTS!"

He said the latter over and over and over. One time, he decided to switch it up, and said, "LICK MY ASS... AND SUCK MY NUUUUUTS!"

He then turned to me and said "Sorry, man, I'm just trying to have a good time..." "SUCK MY ASS........."

At an As I lay Dying show, this guy turns to my friend...

him - "Man... are you wearing flip-flops?!"
friend - "Haha, yeah"
him - "Well.... I'm wayyy to drunk to drive, man.. you want my soco and doctor pepper?"
(at this point, this dude is behind him, looking at me and my friend and smiling a sheepish smile, as if to say "Don't. Take. The. Drink.")
friend - "Nah, man, I'm good"

Same show, my friend and I are standing by this guy with a Chimaira shirt. Drunk dude shows up.

drunk - "Woah. CHIMAIRA IS the SHIT! All of the the rest of these motherfucks got other bands, but you, man, are wearing CHIMAIRA! I fucking love Chimaira!" etc...
shirt guy - "Well, I'm flattered.." or something to that effect
drunk turns to me - "Hey, man, you like Chimaira?"
me - "Yeah, I do."
drunk turns to my friend - "Hey, man, you like Chimaira?"
friend - "What's a Chimaira?" (he likes them, he's just fuckin with the guy )
drunk - "Oh, fuck."
drunk turns to the shirt guy - "Chimaira is the SHIT. I fucking love Chimaira."
friend - "Haha, nothing remains"
drunk gets a "fuck yeah!" look on his face - "YEAAHH! I love you, man!!"

five minutes later...

drunk is on the table outside the venue in the smoking area - "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" grand announcement! "MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE. THIS GUY, RIGHT HERE -" points to shirt guy "- LISTENS TO CHIMAIRA! CHIMAIRA IS THE SHIT!"

He does this like five fucking times.

At one point, we're all chanting, "Jump! Jump! Jump!" and he jumps! He almost falls over, haha.

I love fucked up people at shows xD

EDIT: The stuff at the AILD show wasn't really directed toward the band.. but I thought it was worth posting in this thread anywho

 

[JohnIce]

After a show, the guitarist from the opening band (using an EBMM JP6) starts this conversation with me:

Him: "Dude... I get that you're a great technical player, way better than me, but trust me, you know what you need? A humbucker guitar!"
Me: "I have 2 humbuckers in my guitar."
Him: "Ok yeah but like a DiMarzio, John Petrucci kind of thing. Believe me I know, and I'm telling you that's what you need!"
Me: "Both my humbuckers are DiMarzio, the bridge pickup is a Steve's Special which JP used in his Ibanezes..."

The conversation, thankfully, ended there

Another nice one, playing with my country/folk pop band:

Random Guitarist: "That was a really cool tone! I could definitely tell that it was an AC30 but it sounded a little warmer than mine, did you mod it somehow?"
Me: "No the AC30 was for the acoustic guitarist, I used an Axe-Fx modeling a Twin Reverb."
Guitarist: "Wow never heard of that amp... where is it?"
Me: "It's in the rack next to the AC30."
Guitarist: "Oh, it's a modeler thing... alright but dude, you should seriously get an AC30, best amp I've ever owned!"

 

[violent mouth]

I shouted 'PLAY FASTER YOU CUNTS' TO BRUTAL TRUTH, kevin sharp then punched me in the head, Brutal Truth rule!
(oh he has since apologised to me)

 

[Alberto7]

I was playing a show with my old band, back in Madrid. All of a sudden I hear "TAKE ME HOME WITH YOU!" and I could have sworn it was a girl's voice. Started looking around the crowd desperately trying to find this girl so I could talk to her afterwards. It was just my friend being an ass. Needless to say, I was sad and disappointed

 

[Geest]

I get the same question after every concert, not really a funny one though:

>"Does your throat hurt after screaming and grunting like that?"
<"Nope, there's a lot of technique involved.
>"Really? Oh.. I thought it was just shouting you know, like: HURRRR" (They always need to give me an example, haha)
<"Hehe..yeh, no."

 

[iRaiseTheDead]

I haven't really gotten anything good yet, but there was one show we played where a guy in his maybe mid-20's came up and said "hey me and my girlfriend loved your set, I would have thrown down to you guys... but I didn't wanna be THAT guy" it was funny at the time

 

[Andromalia]

"You suck"

 

[richcastle66]

"You suck"

this. luckily i was busying tuning and i didnt hear it, my band told me about it after.

 

[FireInside]

I saw Evan Brewer open for Animals as Leaders at the Key Club in L.A. and some kids kept yelling all sorts of things like "You are a God!" and "You fucking rule!" (he totally does).

The ultimate was when one of them yelled "I want you to fuck my Mom!" Ha ha, Evan had a good laugh at that!

 

[Danukenator]

I don't often get to go to concerts but I made an exception to go to the Boston House of Blues to see Between the Buried and Me and, more importantly, Animals as Leaders.

Now before they came on, right after this fuckin' awful band Cave In, people were all talkin' about BTBAM. These people had all seen them like 7+ times. As soon as they get to the, I think, first solo of Obfuscation one of the kids just starts screaming "Paul Waggoner, Have my babies!" over and over. After he each song he was like shaking with joy. Probably had to be there but it was really odd in hindsight.

 

[Wolf ov Fire]

Last gig I went to they had this alt/indie band with a douchebag bassist who just stood there frowning the whole time, and an effeminate frontman. They were playing some Beatles cover, when this skinhead starts screaming and shit "YEAH ROCK ON I WANNA SEE A FUCKING MOSH PIT GODDAMNIT!!!" and prowling around in a circle hitting people. Keep in mind, this is an all ages small club of about 30 people, with a floor plan the size of a front lawn. And the frontman was totally crept out and shit, they got so uncomfortable.

 

[Soubi7string]

"WHAT THE HELL?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS A NICKLEBACK COVER BAND"
"7 strings! nice man! you like whitechapel or suicide silence" I glare at thee

and hecklers who try to mess with my pedals.

 

[Blasphemer]

fuckin' awful band Cave In,

I'm going to have to disagree. I saw Cave In with Russian Circles and Boris, and I thought they were pretty sick. Now, they definitely fit better with RC and Boris rather than BTBAM and AAL, though.

 

[nshaw12]

I was at a local concert, and this drunk guy comes up to my friends & I and says, "I love you guys... not in the molestation way (because we were all 16 or so at the time)... in the 'beer, bratwurst, & noodles' way..." Throughout the show he kept yelling "Bratwurst & noodles!" every time he saw one of us.

Oh and later on I ended up next to him in front of the stage, he turns to me and gives me one of those wrapped dill pickles, unopened, and yells, "Bratwurst & noodles!"

... and that was the last I saw of him.

 

[metalhead9838772]

Funniest thing that ever happened for me... I was with my band, and were playing a death metal set. A random guy yells "PLAY SOME AMON AMARTH !!!!", and our next song in the set was actually an Amon Amarth song.

Same show, I heard a girl yelling "RAPE ME !!! RAPE ME !!!" all over the place... And she was with her boyfriend...

Last thing, after that show, a guy gets near me and says (please note that I was playing with a borrowed Ibanez Xiphos)
Random guy: Dude, I love your guitar, is that a Jackson Warrior?
Me: What? No, that's an Ibanez Xiphos.
Random guy: Really? Fuck it, I hate Ibanez and their ugly guitars...
Me: But you just said you love it
Random guy: I like Jackson Warriors, but I hate Ibanez Xiphoses (is that even a word?)
Me: They actually are the same fucking thing, dude!
Random guy: And? I don't care if they are the same shape, Jackson Warriors are cooler because the shape is different.
Then, he goes away.

 

[guy in latvia]

I've had so much random crazy shit happen at gigs, i dunno where to start.

since it would take too long to type and explain ill just say my favorite one. the vocalist of my band was saying "this song is dedicated to a little bird out there" *points to my girlfriend at the time*

after the show she comes up to me and says, "why did he call me a burger?"

i just couldnt stop laughing xD

 

[kcyrowolf]

My friend's band (Once a Wolf--worth checking out) were doing a small free gig at a local pub/venue. Half way through the set a homeless guy walks in, and head up to the front. He starts shouting random stuff at the band, and eventually the singer is just pissing himself on stage. He gets off the stage in between songs and talks to the guy, and ends up giving the mic to say something.

The guy started claiming it was his birthday, saying "fucking Mickey Mouse in the house!" (I think he was referring to himself) along with other nonsense. He then stuck around for the rest of the set and started begging afterwards, once the band has finished playing. Very random.

 

[DoomJazz]

After the main band finishes their set, either me or my drummer ends up shouting

WHERE THE FUCK IS NICKLEBACK?!?