What is the stupidest injury you've inflicted on yourself?

[loktide]

i once rammed a broken off glass pasteur pipette under my left thumbnail about 2-3cm deep while working in a tissue culture hood. most of the glass shards remained in my finger so i had to get surgery. two fucking times! after the second surgery they still couldn't remove all the shards (which actually grew out along with my thumbnail in the next months!). good luck for me the pipette was sterilized for working in the tissue culture hood.

i think that's definitely the most stupid and painful injury i've afflicted to myself

 

[anthonyferguson]

I once decided it'd be a good idea to solo (posh name for climbing with no ropes) to retrieve a piece of gear (protection placed in rock to stop you hitting the ground when you fall while lead climbing-that's with the rope going below you not from above)
anyway it was raining and I really shouldn't have but I thought it'd be alright. I slipped and fell 6 meters and hit quite alot of stuff on the way down, very nearly breaking my back and hitting the floor, knocking myself unconscious for a good minute. my friend thought I was dead as my head was bleeding like fuck, but being the most epicly calm and sensible person ever kept his cool and attempted to stop the bleeding whilst calling an ambulance (bear in mind we're on the top of a hill at a deserted crag in the middle of the north york moors a 45 minute walk away from the nearest road) so it was air ambulance territory. unfortunately the weather was taking a turn for the worse and i felt really shit and incredibly cold-it was snowing by this point, only wearing a windbreaker and soaked jeans! the helicopter failed to see us having passed 2 or 3 times but finally spotted us. I can't really remember much else apart from my mate's parents arriving apparently an hour and a half later, his mum being a GP. i felt a bit better now even though I'd lost a fairly large chunk of blood and assorted flesh, and decided i'd be 'core and not go in the helicopter because I'd chunder if I did and you have to stay in hospital if you do after a headwound. Anyway I went for the most amazing slash in the world, and decided to walk down the hill while concussed and still bleeding, went back to my mate's house and had a massive shower which I fell asleep in. I then went home with my mum and came back to hospital later when it started bleeding again, and I got some stitches because my skull was exposed. METAL.
After that I went on holiday and was concussed for the whole lot.

that was pretty daft.

 

[vampiregenocide]

I was cutting something in the nude with some old scissors, the old really heavy sharp kind, and I dropped them on to the tip of my penis. Got a nasty gash that got infected and I had to be on antibiotics for quite a while. I learnt my lesson, never hold sharp things over your genitals.

 

[vampiregenocide]

Oh, are we posting pictures?

*waits for barrage of abuse*

*sympathetic facepalm* I hope you don't do this now.

 

[budda]

Stupidest injury?

I lightly grazed my nose with a knife after slicing some cheese last week. I didn't really bleed, I didn't really feel the cut just the pressure of the knife, and the blood line that was there is now more or less gone I think. It wasn't painful, it wasn't big, but it sure as hell fits the criteria for this thread

 

[Murmel]

2 weeks ago, I attempted a big jump with my skies. I am experienced with just straight downhill skiing and I CAN land a small jump, but it's never been my thing.

So this day I was like, fuck it, I might aswell try it.
So I went for it, I came in so fast that I missed the landing. But even with less speed I wouldn't have made it, right when I hit the jump I leaned to much backwards and I landed on my left buttcheek so I almost broke my hip. I was paralyzed by the shock for like 10 seconds.
My buddy thought I was dead, lol...

But anyways, I managed to ski my way down the rest of the hill, and I could walk perfectly fine the next day.
My mom wasn't too happy because I didn't wear a helmet.

Oh yeah, and that time I fell with my moped...
I was riding wit about 4 other buddies to my friends house. We went up his driveway and where about to park our mopeds on the lawn, I was gonna go between 2 trees and park it there. I see my buddy who is in front of me turn away from the trees. I'm like "wtf?" but I keep going. And a second later, I spot a fucking inch thick wire going between the two trees. So I slam my brakes, loose my grip and get my entire moped over me and the footpeg thingy (You know, what you rest your foot on when you ride dirtbike type motorbikes).

Anyway, that thing went straight into my leg. I got up and was screaming like a mad man at my buddy for no reason lol, I wasn't really in pain. I didn't even notice the wound until they commented on blood running down my leg.

So I spent that last summer being blue/green/purple over my entire left leg, people where looking kinda funny at me for some reason I still have a nice big scar there aswell.

 

[Chickenhawk]

So, I was in Iraq. Sitting in my room (well, sardine can thingy). I just bought a new knife, and was really proud of it.

I decided it was a GREAT idea to open it really quick, and try to stab the chair I was sitting it. I COMPLETELY missed (by...feet). And stabbed my knee. My BAD knee, with torn cartlidge (sp?).

Guess it could have been worse, but I NEVER carried that knife ANYWHERE. Still have it though.

 

[AySay]

^
That's crazy man!


I bought a pack of those blue DR strings, and i was putting them on my Ibby JPM to make it even more awesomely colorful. As everyone knows, changing strings on a Floyd takes a long time. Right when I got to the last string, I got impatient and was pulling on it when my hand slipped, and the adjacent string pierced into my index finger (of my fretting hand ) The thing was BAD. I mean, when I sqeezed my finger, blood squirted like 6 inches all over the floor/guitar/me...

The NEXT FUCKING DAY, the RGA8 i was waiting for for a month comes in.

I could barely play it...still barely can...

 

[BrailleDecibel]

Once, when I was 11, I was swimming with my family when I found a glass bottle near the water. Being the young retard I was, I thought it would be cool to break the bottle with a rock underwater to see what all the glass flying in slow-mo would look like. I brought the rock down on the bottle, and a piece of it shot directly into my right thumb, slicing the shit out of it.

I bled like a stuck pig all the way to the hospital, and had to get 5 stitches in my thumb. Mind you, this was about a year after I started playing guitar, and I could barely hold a pick until the wound healed and I got the stitches taken out.

That same summer, I decided to swing on a rope swing that I had no business being on, and needless to say, it snapped. I went flying backwards and landed on my right arm, breaking it, dislocating my hand from my wrist, and cracking my growth cup. Now my right hand is slightly smaller than my left hand. What can I say, I was a dumbass at 11 years old.

 

[Jeggs]

I don't know the english name for it, so I'll post a pic :

When I was around 12 years old, I got challenged to put out one of those with my hands...which I did. For those who don't know what it is, its a stick with blackpowder/gunpowder(ish) stuff on it, which ofc burns at quite the temperature! My hands smelled like burnt flesh for weeks!

 

[MF_Kitten]

I don't know the english name for it, so I'll post a pic :

When I was around 12 years old, I got challenged to put out one of those with my hands...which I did. For those who don't know what it is, its a stick with blackpowder/gunpowder(ish) stuff on it, which ofc burns at quite the temperature! My hands smelled like burnt flesh for weeks!

there's magnesium and some shit in those as well, and they can burn under water at least for a bit. putting it out with your hand = not a good idea

 

[MF_Kitten]

Once, when I was 11, I was swimming with my family when I found a glass bottle near the water. Being the young retard I was, I thought it would be cool to break the bottle with a rock underwater to see what all the glass flying in slow-mo would look like. I brought the rock down on the bottle, and a piece of it shot directly into my right thumb, slicing the shit out of it.

I bled like a stuck pig all the way to the hospital, and had to get 5 stitches in my thumb. Mind you, this was about a year after I started playing guitar, and I could barely hold a pick until the wound healed and I got the stitches taken out.

That same summer, I decided to swing on a rope swing that I had no business being on, and needless to say, it snapped. I went flying backwards and landed on my right arm, breaking it, dislocating my hand from my wrist, and cracking my growth cup. Now my right hand is slightly smaller than my left hand. What can I say, I was a dumbass at 11 years old.

funny thing about this, is that it sounds like it would look really awesome. i would totally try this

 

[13point9]

erm, nothing on some of you guys, I slipped over in primary school and kneed a bentch, I still have the scar the blood went down all over my foot haha, Didn't cry but when I walked past my class mates they were screaming like bitches...

Various little scars on my face arms and hands from my brother, he had a tendency to gouge lumps of flesh out of me with his finger nails...

and once I was pissing about with a pen in secondary school, I had the pocket clip on my finger, flicking the pen about and it flicked into my eye, that hurt a lot and i couldnt really see for about an hour lol

 

[snuif09]

my most painfull experience was a plain steel guitar string that was laying on the ground pointing upwards going in and then come out at the top iwas in complete shock like HOLY SHIT almost fainted like a girl lol didnt bleed that much since at was a small hole but it scared the shit out of me and it hurted like FUCK

 

[brandon5pennies]

I've got 2 stories. 1st one I was at a show and occasionally the venue I was at holds dodgeball games just for fun and there was this guy who has a cannon for an arm and was destroying people with his throws and being the smart person I am I decided to join in and surely enough I got hit by him in the face and it hurt! 2nd story. I was at a skatepark with some friends skating in the pool because it had either rained or snowed and the pool was indoors while the rest of the park was outside. My friend took his trucks and wheels off his board and I was like "I bet I can drop in". Tried once and just fell no big deal should have just had the laugh and quit there but nope I decided to try again and the 2nd time board shoots back I fell 5 feet and slammed head first and was knocked out cold. Woke up crying from the excruciating pain. Went out to eat later and passed out in my food. Funny thing is I got severely injured in that same bowl before someone slipped out and their board shot out and hit me in the face shattering my jaw and I had to have plastic surgery yay! Not really it sucked. If you haven't caught on I tend to hurt my head or face a lot haha.

 

[Charles]

I'm full of just doing dumb things. Besides the obvious cuts and grazes from guitar strings I'm just generally the clumsiest motherfucker of all time. Fell over coming into the net playing tennis last week and landed on my nose. It didn't hurt but man did I feel dumb.

Come to think of it I'm full of great stories like that. Ran through a fence while playing tennis because I couldn't stop. Again, didn't hurt much but the visual of my feet sticking out of the fence into the court while the rest of my body was outside was indeed a funny one. Tripped on a sprinkler when I was playing high school football, missed my tackle and the guy went in for the touchdown (actually that was more of an injury to my ego but eh.)

I've been greatly fortunate in that I've never really been hurt that badly, but man do I look like an idiot sometimes.

 

[Daemoniac]

Well fuck me sideways, I could have sworn I posted in this thread... that or I have and missed the post when I looked through just now

Ok then...

Got a skateboard for my 18th birthday 3 years back and it was on a Saturday. We were planning to go out clubbing, but I didn't have any acceptable ID to get in, and the place to get it wasn't open until the following Monday; fine.

Fuck around for the weekend, get confident enough to start going on actual trips with it (up to the shops etc..), and on Monday I took it down to get my ID. Get a call from the missus to go meet her at TAFE (where she was studying at the time), whihc is only about a 10 minute walk/ride from where I was at the time, so I went up a bit early. Now there's a pretty big hill just out the front there, so I stood at the top with the board for about a minute trying to figure out whether to just do it or not, and in the end...


I didn't. I walked to the bottom, put it down, got on, pushed once, and fucking FELL It wasn't so funny at the time, turns out i'd broken my ankle in 3 places, and dislocated the cunt as well, so every time I hopped on my good leg, my ankle would flop around randomly, tugging the breaks around and generally hurting like shit. I sat there screaming profanities and eventually someone came and helped me up, and then took me and the missus to the hospital. A week later I had surgery, put 2 plates in there and IIRC 12 pins to hold it all together (still in there...), and my left ankle is now 1.5 times as big as my right.

EDIT: ANd I didn't experience "clubbing" until 12 weeks later... I wasn't impressed...

 

[Mr. Big Noodles]

1:21 - "Just make sure there's nothing around you you're going to hit."

When I was 9 or 10, yoyos were the big thing. I was doing this trick in my bedroom, and hit the yoyo off of my desk chair. Well, the angle of deflection was just so that this piece of plastic and ball bearings comes hurdling toward my skull. In an instant, I'm crying and burying my face in a pillow. My mom comes in, I lift my face, and the pillow's covered in blood. I had sliced my eyebrow because I was doing this trick that requires a lot of room in a place where no such room exists. An inch's difference, and I might have lost my eye, but I luckily walked away with six stitches. After the ordeal, I was more interested than ever in yoyos, which lasted until the school year was over.

 

[josh pelican]

I think I have you all beat...

Just a little over three and half years ago I was in a car accident that should have ended me. It put me in the hospital for a week and I now have a metal plate in my arm. They pulled a good amount of glass out of me, including my head, hand, and the cartilage of my ear. I had a few good open wounds (big ones), small lacerations, contusions, etc. All that good shit. My arm was closed with surgical staples, while my hand and ear had regular sutures in them.

The doctor said years down the road, glass might start to rise out of my skin and I'll be able to yank it out.

HERE'S THE DUMB PART:

I'm out of the hospital for a few days here. Unemployed (not that I could work), still a bit freaked out from what happened, and I'm looking over some of my cuts and wounds. I notice this little purple bump in the cartilage of my ear (where the suture was previously). I think to myself it could be glass. I take a needle and poke it a few times. I get under the skin and I hear a clink (similar to a needle hitting glass). So I take the needle and I think some tweezers and start jabbing it. Little pieces of flesh are coming off as well as a small amount of blood. Nothing serious. I hear lots of clinking so I finally give one last jab with the needle and yank as hard as I can with the tweezers.

...

I hit an artery IN MY FUCKING EAR.

Immediately I felt an immense pressure in my ear. As soon as I moved my had blood starting fucking SPRAYING. I knelt near the toilet and turned my head (left side down) while trying to grab toilet paper (which was on my left hand side). I went through an entire roll of toilet paper. I was applying pressure, but it was running down. I kept grabbing more and more toilet paper to clear up the mess while maintaining pressure on it.

The entire toilet was covered in blood. Not a pool of blood. Arterial spray. The bowl and water were red. The loads of toilet paper sitting in the toilet looked like clumps of my insides. It was all over the floor, the mirror, the sink, etc. Every time my heart beat blood would spray. Of course at this point, my heart was racing.

At point it got so bad that while it was spraying, it was pouring as well. How could so much blood come out of something so fucking small?! I know it was an artery, but still...

After who knows how long, it started to die down. I got upstairs to a better bathroom with a closer mirror. I removed the toilet paper to look and it sprayed a few more times.

By now I had called several people freaking out. My mom was rushing home from work (a hospital) to get me to take me in. On the way there my ear had just stopped bleeding. Instead of going to the hospital to get sutured again, we went to Pets Unlimited so I could buy some fish.

EDIT: I have pictures at home. Will post later.

 

[leandroab]

^
That's crazy man!


I bought a pack of those blue DR strings, and i was putting them on my Ibby JPM to make it even more awesomely colorful. As everyone knows, changing strings on a Floyd takes a long time. Right when I got to the last string, I got impatient and was pulling on it when my hand slipped, and the adjacent string pierced into my index finger (of my fretting hand ) The thing was BAD. I mean, when I sqeezed my finger, blood squirted like 6 inches all over the floor/guitar/me...

The NEXT FUCKING DAY, the RGA8 i was waiting for for a month comes in.

I could barely play it...still barely can...

Something similar happened to me. After I re-stringed my 7321 (and cut the strings at the tuners) I saw it was a little bit dirty around the tuning pegs. So I grabbed a cloth and started to swipe it back and forth to remove the dust and gunk. That's when my grandpa comes to ask a question and I look at him. I hit the cut G string with my index finger. The cut string enters BELOW MY NAIL. IT FUCKING HURT SO FUCKING MUCH. The pain was so acute and sharp (try pinching the tip of your nose really hard) I actually fucking yelled really hard. There wasn't much blood but the pain was fucking unbelievable for such a small puncture. It kept hurting like hell for over a week.

EDIT: I have pictures at home. Will post later.

Please. Don't.