Writing some Deathcore

[Augury]

Hi ppl,
I have been playing guitar for 1,5yrs and I started to write songs. I founded a Deathcore band with my best friends. Well, we have actually no idea if we stay in Deathcore or move to Death Metal or Progressive Death Metal or whatever. For now we are making deathcore.
We wanted to achieve something different than Chelsea Grin, Carnifex, AOAA and other 'generic' deathcore bands. Our idea was many solos, groovy Veil of Maya-like breakdowns, no pig squeals and some influences from other genres (Jazz, Prog Rock etc.). For some reasons we didn't - not enough musical theory, not enough skill in our hands etc., so we decided to make some generic Deathcore shit for the beginning.
I just written the first song that is longer that 80 seconds (xD). Now I need your help. I need some tips how I can improve the song. Feel free to tell me what you didn't liked (or maybe liked too ). Thanks!

Download link (GP5 tab):
endless agony.gp5


P.S. I'm new to SS.org so don't kill me if I placed the topic in bad forum

 

[shreddanson]

I'll be honest, didn't like much of it because deathcore's not my bag. But I really liked how you went an octave up with the main tremolo picked riff. Kinda reminded me of Origin in a way. My advice would be to keep tweaking the songs until you reach a desired effect. Maybe instead of doing the usual generic chugging breakdown you could add some dissonant chords in between. Also, transitions make a huge difference. But you're doing ok for just playing for 1.5 years, keep at it and practice your ass off, it won't come over night.

 

[Stealthdjentstic]

I liked the end because there was none left.

 

[Stealthdjentstic]

But seriously for 1.5 years thats a good start!

 

[shreddanson]

I liked the end because there was none left.

harsh!

 

[Asterix]

Im not a real big fan of most deathcore, but it was decent.
I was not a fan of the "AOAA Break" at all though.

 

[Augury]

Thanks for your help! Surely I know it's impossible to write Necrophagist-stuff in one night so I'll practice alot I'll try tweaking the song as you said.

 

[Oceans]

I think you should just write what you think sounds good and not be generic, and be unique

 

[Mr. Big Noodles]

The riffs themselves are pretty lackluster, but your song has a decent sense of form, which is more important in the long run. I'd suggest cultivating that so that when you get further down the road and write better riffs, you know how to organize them. It makes the writing process a whole lot easier when you know how to get a lot of mileage out of just two or three ideas.

 

[PollutedSanctum]

Add harmony. I did the first riff for you.

http://www.mediafire.com/?z7n2nrc8b2wpat4

 

[clockworksam]

Just keep writiing from the heart. technique,practice and theory obviously comes first when it comes to your own personal playing, but when it comes to writing, go with what works for you. once you become more comfortable with your own writing style, it will just keep getting better and better.

 

[Winspear]

The structure and writing is really good for 1.5 years, good job. This could be a legit track in my opinion.

Somewhat unrelated, but I feel the need to say it incase you're going down the same road as I did;
Make sure you can really play what you write. I spent my early years writing plenty of fast parts that I couldn't play properly and just thought I could. I spent years developing awful technique and it's been very difficult trying to fix it.
Parts like that very fast tremolo riff etc - make sure you are sitting down and practicing that precisely, in time with good muting. Not just random fast picking like I would have done while playing along to my tabs

I only say this because there is absolutely no way in hell I would've been able to play this song properly after 1.5 years - but it is quite possible that you've actually been learning properly and are progressing well. There are people that play well after such short a time.

Just be careful and don't end up going mad writing songs in Guitar Pro that you can't play as a band. I know that situation all to well, and it sucks ass

 

[eurolove]

I think you should just write what you think sounds good and not be generic, and be unique

this. i'm sorry but if your setting out to write a specific genre your doing it wrong because you are limiting your music before its even been created. do what sounds good to you is such good advice. for example if you wanna buy a sitar and put that in your music, most metal heads are gonna be wtflol? but you should not care about pleasing them, make music for yourself. Whether or not other people like it should be only a by product.

 

[Whitechapel7]

the link is blocked for me as i am in school right now, so im just gonna say that if you are just doing stuff like this:

1--0--1--3--1--4
1--0--1--3--1--4

its gonna sound like shit. granted i cannot hear what you have written. i would suggest trying to shred a little if you havent. being an intermediate guitar player like yourself, it is harder for me, but find a scale you think sounds awesome for the tuning you use, and just shred on a few strings. OR learn how to sweep pick (if you havent already), that will make people be like hes fucking good. a good example for the shredding is Possession by Whitechapel or Disengage By Suicide Silence. and for sweeping Pray for Plagues by Bring Me the Horizon or Wake Up by Suicide Silence. hope this helps

 

[Rick]

the link is blocked for me as i am in school right now, so im just gonna say that if you are just doing stuff like this:

1--0--1--3--1--4
1--0--1--3--1--4

its gonna sound like shit.

granted i cannot hear what you have written.

So how do you know it's gonna sound like shit?

 

[Whitechapel7]

So how do you know it's gonna sound like shit?

im talking if like that is the entire song where one is using frets 1-5 and the 5,6, and 7 strings. and from personal experience.

 

[Blind Theory]

It is very hard to write genuinely unique deathcore. Because 99% of the time it won't sound very unique. The chugga-chugga-dissonant chord-chugga-squee! shit isn't original no matter how hard you try. Breakdowns period are nearly impossible to make sound unique. The bands like All Shall Perish, Veil of Maya, Born of Osiris, etc are all VERY talented and good at thinking outside of the box. So my only advice is learn new techniques then apply them to your songs. And don't try to base anything off of anyone. Because that will just make you sound that much more generic. I've been there many times...it gets old after a while.

 

[Tobi]

the link is blocked for me as i am in school right now, so im just gonna say that if you are just doing stuff like this:

1--0--1--3--1--4
1--0--1--3--1--4

its gonna sound like shit.

Actually I think that you could make that exact thing sound very good, either in some sort of drop tuning with some palm mutes in between and a good rhythm or even just as a doublestop riff ala Smoke on the water (no Idea how to explain that but I am sure you will get the Idea)


To the OP
I think the song really isnt bad, nothing outstanding, but definantly good enough for a first song for a band. Except for the breakdown bit maybe, but I wouldnt know, Im not into that sort of thing.
A lot of the time guitar pro deceives you by making stuff sound quite boring, but if you actually play it with a decent drummer bassist and maybe even a singer all that can change.

To improve the song I would recommend throwing some sort of sour vibrato in that beginning riff, dimebag style. Maybe play with the feedback from your amp a bit, pick at different parts of the string to get a different sound at parts.... All that makes a mediocre song a good song.
Remember, there is only 12 notes in western music that repeat all over again, the nuances make the song, playing faster or more notes doesnt always do the trick.

In my opinion

 

[Stealthdjentstic]

the link is blocked for me as i am in school right now, so im just gonna say that if you are just doing stuff like this:

1--0--1--3--1--4
1--0--1--3--1--4

its gonna sound like shit. granted i cannot hear what you have written. i would suggest trying to shred a little if you havent. being an intermediate guitar player like yourself, it is harder for me, but find a scale you think sounds awesome for the tuning you use, and just shred on a few strings. OR learn how to sweep pick (if you havent already), that will make people be like hes fucking good. a good example for the shredding is Possession by Whitechapel or Disengage By Suicide Silence. and for sweeping Pray for Plagues by Bring Me the Horizon or Wake Up by Suicide Silence. hope this helps

This is the stupidest thing I've read in a while.

 

[SenorDingDong]

the link is blocked for me as i am in school right now, so im just gonna say that if you are just doing stuff like this:

1--0--1--3--1--4
1--0--1--3--1--4

its gonna sound like shit. granted i cannot hear what you have written. i would suggest trying to shred a little if you havent. being an intermediate guitar player like yourself, it is harder for me, but find a scale you think sounds awesome for the tuning you use, and just shred on a few strings. OR learn how to sweep pick (if you havent already), that will make people be like hes fucking good. a good example for the shredding is Possession by Whitechapel or Disengage By Suicide Silence. and for sweeping Pray for Plagues by Bring Me the Horizon or Wake Up by Suicide Silence. hope this helps

You know, if you're doing things like opening and closing your mouth and producing speech, it gonna sound like shit. Granted, I can't hear your voice, but I know it will sound like shit. I would suggest you think first if you haven't. Good examples of this are: Should I post this? Are my ears tuned it? Am I downing someone who is new to guitar and discouraging them for no reason acting like a shredded nutbag? (this ones fucking good). And my ever favorite, am I being a sweeping jerk off to someone for no reason without the basis of having actually have heard their playing? (This ones called speaking out of your ass)
Hope this helps!




Now onto the actual post.
For one and a half years, you're writing is damn descent man.
As others have suggested, try incorporating your own techniques and bits of style into genre parts (i.e. breakdowns).
Try incorporating cleans, or larger dissonant chords.
It will help set your writing apart from others.
But as for this, you're doing great so far man. Keep up the hard work and practice, practice, practice.