Advice- Lost passion/inspiration to make my music

[vejichan]

Need some help ONLY from people who write their own music. Due to all the negative comments, backlash and blasting and harsh criticism about my music ...i have lost all interest and inspiration to write and play guitar.

I grew up surrounded by naysayers and didnt think i could ever make my music. I have 0 talent, 0 skill , 0 theory. Last year during the lockdown , thru the encouragement of some people i decided to give my music a try. Before, i didnt have time because of my demanding job and not being home. But now i realized my music sucks and that i am obviously not very good at playing guitar or making my music. I feel like quiting but deep down i know i enjoy it. To those that have similar experiences ..

- how do you deal with negative comments and feedback on your music
- how do you regain confidence and renewed inspiration to write and play guitar again
- how do you continue and stay true and write geniune music that you want to write instead of catering to other people and trying to predict and hope that you write music that other people would like

Please any advice or help is appreciated. Thank you

 

[CanserDYI]

Okay, you get gobs of advise daily here, you heed NONE of it. Why do you listen to advise of your so called "naysayers" but not the advice of hundreds of cool forumites that only maybe ONE actually criticized your music. Like literally one. You even got two compliments that your narrow sighted ass didn't even thank.

Gtfo of here.

 

[vejichan]

Okay, you get gobs of advise daily here, you heed NONE of it. Why do you listen to advise of your so called "naysayers" but not the advice of hundreds of cool forumites that only maybe ONE actually criticized your music. Like literally one. You even got two compliments that your narrow sighted ass didn't even thank.

Gtfo of here.

well grew up surrounded by naysayers and everytime i get some shred of confidence that i am able to do something.. they just shut me down again

 

[VESmedic]

Are you blaming an Internet forum for your loss of passion in music? Then you need to get off the forums, simple as that. Who cares what the internet thinks.

 

[WarMachine]

Against better judgment, i'm going to try this again.....

- how do you deal with negative comments and feedback on your music
You make a choice. If you are serious about what you are doing, you take it all in. Compare the negatives to what you are doing. If it's considered negative when someone says "it's not my cup of tea", then yes, you should not put anything online to be reviewed. It's just not happening dude. If you take the right types of comments, i.e. your last several posts where people have said "not my cup of tea, but it sounds good". Thats good feedback. And you've received a lot of that on here.

- how do you regain confidence and renewed inspiration to write and play guitar again
IMO confidence comes from being satisfied with what you get out of your music. NOT solely from peoples feedback.
Inspiration at least for me, just comes from holding the guitar period. Sometimes i'm goofing off. Other times i'm committing to trying something new. But regardless of which one it is, the outcome is always the same; i have fun and enjoy it.

- how do you continue and stay true and write geniune music that you want to write instead of catering to other people and trying to predict and hope that you write music that other people would like
This is the one i have the biggest problem with, and i have personally (outside of the forum) tried to explain this to you. This is my last attempt. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT "CATERING" OR "PREDICTING WHAT PEOPLE WILL LIKE". Do what YOU like. That's why you picked up the guitar in the beginning. Some people will love what you do. Some people will hate what you will do. That's just part of the deal. Hell, that's part of life in general, regardless of what you are doing. Do what you enjoy, hone your craft and be happy. If you feel like you need everyone that you put your music out there to drop to their knees and say "Thank you Lord!" then you are in the wrong dimension dude. You like to use naysayers quite a bit. Ever thought about how many people on here may have grown up around that their entire lives, or still deal with it on the day to day? When i was 15-16 years old, my mother constantly gave me shit because i didn't have a career goal in mind. Other than music. All i wanted to do was play guitar and get somewhere with it. At 35, i'm still trying my damnedest to make it happen. I haven't given up. But again, I MADE that choice, no one had to make it for me, and i definitely didn't do it to "cater to" or make anyone else happy but myself first. And i didn't need praise or constant approval to feel that way either.

I'm sure you'll probably take everything i just said as an insult, and if so that solidifies what TONS of us have been trying to actually help you with these issues you are making up in your mind. But i'm truly trying to get through and help you man. When anyone on the forum tries what i'm doing here, all we get in return are posts that blatantly ignore what has been suggested or get accused of "bashing" you and your work. I won't speak for anyone here, but as far as i go, that really pisses me off. As i said, this isn't a NEGATIVE. You "ONLY" wanted input from someone who writes their own music, you got it. I really hope this helps man....prove me wrong.

 

[vejichan]

Against better judgment, i'm going to try this again.....

- how do you deal with negative comments and feedback on your music
You make a choice. If you are serious about what you are doing, you take it all in. Compare the negatives to what you are doing. If it's considered negative when someone says "it's not my cup of tea", then yes, you should not put anything online to be reviewed. It's just not happening dude. If you take the right types of comments, i.e. your last several posts where people have said "not my cup of tea, but it sounds good". Thats good feedback. And you've received a lot of that on here.

- how do you regain confidence and renewed inspiration to write and play guitar again
IMO confidence comes from being satisfied with what you get out of your music. NOT solely from peoples feedback.
Inspiration at least for me, just comes from holding the guitar period. Sometimes i'm goofing off. Other times i'm committing to trying something new. But regardless of which one it is, the outcome is always the same; i have fun and enjoy it.

- how do you continue and stay true and write geniune music that you want to write instead of catering to other people and trying to predict and hope that you write music that other people would like
This is the one i have the biggest problem with, and i have personally (outside of the forum) tried to explain this to you. This is my last attempt. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT "CATERING" OR "PREDICTING WHAT PEOPLE WILL LIKE". Do what YOU like. That's why you picked up the guitar in the beginning. Some people will love what you do. Some people will hate what you will do. That's just part of the deal. Hell, that's part of life in general, regardless of what you are doing. Do what you enjoy, hone your craft and be happy. If you feel like you need everyone that you put your music out there to drop to their knees and say "Thank you Lord!" then you are in the wrong dimension dude. You like to use naysayers quite a bit. Ever thought about how many people on here may have grown up around that their entire lives, or still deal with it on the day to day? When i was 15-16 years old, my mother constantly gave me shit because i didn't have a career goal in mind. Other than music. All i wanted to do was play guitar and get somewhere with it. At 35, i'm still trying my damnedest to make it happen. I haven't given up. But again, I MADE that choice, no one had to make it for me, and i definitely didn't do it to "cater to" or make anyone else happy but myself first. And i didn't need praise or constant approval to feel that way either.

I'm sure you'll probably take everything i just said as an insult, and if so that solidifies what TONS of us have been trying to actually help you with these issues you are making up in your mind. But i'm truly trying to get through and help you man. When anyone on the forum tries what i'm doing here, all we get in return are posts that blatantly ignore what has been suggested or get accused of "bashing" you and your work. I won't speak for anyone here, but as far as i go, that really pisses me off. As i said, this isn't a NEGATIVE. You "ONLY" wanted input from someone who writes their own music, you got it. I really hope this helps man....prove me wrong.

Thanks i will take some time to think over what you have said.

 

[CanserDYI]

well grew up surrounded by naysayers and everytime i get some shred of confidence that i am able to do something.. they just shut me down again

Are you seriously overlooking what I said about people complimenting your music on that last thread?

Who the fuck shut you down? You got more compliments on that thread than most people do. Go look at the comments on the latest Metallica stuff. There's more bad comments than anything and they still continue to make their music, I wonder why? I wonder if they give a flying fuck what Veijchan thinks of their music?

God this is getting bad, sad, and frustrating to think someone at the age you're at is acting this prepubescent.

 

[WarMachine]

Thanks i will take some time to think over what you have said.

I mean no disrespect in saying this, but if any of that doesn't make sense feel free to ask!

 

[vejichan]

I mean no disrespect in saying this, but if any of that doesn't make sense feel free to ask!

yes it does and yes i will ask if any further clarification is needed. Thank you.

 

[PatientMental76]

- how do you regain confidence and renewed inspiration to write and play guitar again
IMO confidence comes from being satisfied with what you get out of your music. NOT solely from peoples feedback.

- how do you continue and stay true and write geniune music that you want to write instead of catering to other people and trying to predict and hope that you write music that other people would like
DO NOT WORRY ABOUT "CATERING" OR "PREDICTING WHAT PEOPLE WILL LIKE". Do what YOU like.

Learn & understand what he said, its FOR YOU & nobody else! If you continue the way you have been it will never end! Its as simple as this, write & record what you are happy with & put it out if you want, if people like it great if not so what! What is the real issue?

 

[vejichan]

Learn & understand what he said, its FOR YOU & nobody else! If you continue the way you have been it will never end! Its as simple as this, write & record what you are happy with & put it out if you want, if people like it great if not so what! What is the real issue?

THIS " Its as simple as this, write & record what you are happy with & put it out if you want, if people like it great if not so what!" I need to repeat this to myself and print/tape it to the wall ... i shouldnt lose sight of it no matter how hard the negative comments are. THANK YOU for the reminder!

 

[CanserDYI]

THIS " Its as simple as this, write & record what you are happy with & put it out if you want, if people like it great if not so what!" I need to repeat this to myself and print/tape it to the wall ... i shouldnt lose sight of it no matter how hard the negative comments are. THANK YOU for the reminder!

This is absolutely ridiculous. Do you know how many fucking people have basically said this exact advice to you and you brushed it off???

Man, @WarMachine , @odibrom , @budda , @TedEH @Drew are all in need of a thank you too....

 

[Drew]

THIS " Its as simple as this, write & record what you are happy with & put it out if you want, if people like it great if not so what!" I need to repeat this to myself and print/tape it to the wall ... i shouldnt lose sight of it no matter how hard the negative comments are. THANK YOU for the reminder!

I started a longer response but accidently closed the tab, so I'll simplify and just quote this.

None of us are professional musicians. None of us are going to starve if our next song doesn't sell 50,000 copies. We have the luxury of not giving a shit about what anyone else thinks of our music, and we can write the music WE want to listen to, and that's enough. So, write the kind of music you want to crank up when you hear it on the radio. Don't give a shit what anyone else thinks - write for yourself.

Only other thing I'll note, is in your last trainwreck of a thread that got closed down, none of those opening comments were really "negative comments" - "this isn't my cup of tea, but this is pretty good" is just saying, "this isn't a style of music I really listen to, but you seem to be doing it pretty well." That's a compliment, as far as I can tell. This will get a lot easier for you if you stop imagining negativity where it doesn't exist. You write a style of music I don't really listen to much either, but that doesn't make it bad, just a genre I don't listen to much. Plenty of other people, including yourself, do, though, so that's the part that should matter to you.

 

[/wrists]

be op
>asks thread for criticism
>gets criticism
>cries to self because it wasn't the criticism he wanted
>starts assuming other people hate his music and existence
>makes a misinformed thread to complain about how other people hates his music
>seeks validation on the internet
>loses "passion" but probably never had any since he wasn't making music for himself
>probably 12 years old

who knows

you should seek help

 

[vejichan]

be op
>asks thread for criticism
>gets criticism
>cries to self because it wasn't the criticism he wanted
>starts assuming other people hate his music and existence
>makes a misinformed thread to complain about how other people hates his music
>seeks validation on the internet
>loses "passion" but probably never had any since he wasn't making music for himself
>probably 12 years old

who knows

you should seek help

what's wrong with you? I guess you are still working on your insults/bad mouthing people. you should read the part - ONLY from people who write their own music- Learn to read and respect other people. Yea i am married and have kids and play guitar and make music. What about you? I thought you were going to ignore my threads. Please kindly do so and please .. i am telling you right now.. don't respond to any of my threads. Thank you and take care.

 

[vejichan]

Hey guys .. what's up with this guy EVADE? why is he constantly talking shit about me? he doesn't write music or even play guitar but he's constantly blasting/insulting me.. how do i stop this? I have him on ignore and he said he would skip my threads but here he is again? this guy seems to get off insulting/blasting me. Trying to "EVade" this guy..

 

[RevDrucifer]

Hey guys .. what's up with this guy EVADE? why is he constantly talking shit about me? he doesn't write music or even play guitar but he's constantly blasting/insulting me.. how do i stop this? I have him on ignore and he said he would skip my threads but here he is again? this guy seems to get off insulting/blasting me. Trying to "EVade" this guy..

You can not read his posts if they negatively effect you.

 

[vejichan]

You can not read his posts if they negatively effect you.

Actually he responds to "MY' posts. I could care less about his posts... I "evade/avoid" any of his posts. I told him to get off my back and not to respond to my posts. I am in this group for 2 reasons: 1- to improve my mixing 2- to talk gear/guitar stuff. Thats it. nothing else. I have enough drama/stress in my personal life and work. You have something negative to say or want to insult people, keep that to yourself.

 

[TedEH]

who knows

For everyone's sake, can we make a point of not getting carried away with our tone? I know these threads are frustrating, but we're not going to help anything by throwing jabs at OP. Rather than risk another spiral of "everyone is piling up on me", I can only hope we can get a message across in as constructive a way as possible, cause I don't know how anything we say will get through otherwise.

Only other thing I'll note, is in your last trainwreck of a thread that got closed down

So lets not just turn this into exactly another copy of that thread. For the record, I asked for that thread to be locked, and maybe others did too. This one should get locked up if it goes that way too. This isn't healthy for anyone, or the forum in general.

I have enough drama/stress in my personal life with work

Veji - you gatta breath a bit and maybe take a break from forums. Not from music, just from the forums. I don't know what's going on in your life, maybe all is well and this is the only sore point, but if this is indicative of how you take feedback in other areas of your life then you need to talk to someone who can help you deal with these things or just take a break from it until you're ready, and there's no shame in that. Your music is fine. You can play guitar better than a number of people here. But the way you react to constructive criticism is unhealthy - to the point where half the time it's hard to tell if you're trolling or not. We can't help you with that. If you don't enjoy getting feedback then don't ask for feedback.

Let me repeat, once again: There's nothing wrong with your music.

If you put something out there, you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position. There's some personal risk there. When it's not received as well as you'd like, that can be kinda painful, and I can relate to that. I've put out some music before and got pretty upset when it went more or less unnoticed. Because you're right - it doesn't feel very good to put a lot of effort into something and not have it received the way you were expecting. That's normal.

You're also competing for attention and praise, up against every other piece of media everyone is bombarded with constantly. No matter how fantastic the music might be, if you catch the wrong crowd at the wrong time in the wrong circumstances, it'll get lost in the noise and that's just that. It happens to all of us. It's normal. It sucks, yes, but it's normal. You're trying to do something where only a tiny fraction of people really make it to that "seemingly universal praise" level. Those are the exceptions. Almost everyone else has to deal with that.

And it's fine. It's ok. It's perfectly good to make music for your own sake, which is what people have been trying to tell you. It's what almost all of us do.

Go grab a coffee and relax and take in the positive comments you've gotten and ignore the rest. Apply what people are trying to help you, or don't, whatever. Spend some time outside, with your family, etc. Play guitar because you like doing it, not to get internet popularity. Lots of us would love to have praise heaped upon us for the music we make, and when it happens that's great, but when it doesn't, that's also ok.

I said my piece. I'm not going to keep coming back here to go back and forth about it. I hope you can work out whatever is going on. Good luck.

 

[vejichan]

For everyone's sake, can we make a point of not getting carried away with our tone? I know these threads are frustrating, but we're not going to help anything by throwing jabs at OP. Rather than risk another spiral of "everyone is piling up on me", I can only hope we can get a message across in as constructive a way as possible, cause I don't know how anything we say will get through otherwise.


So lets not just turn this into exactly another copy of that thread. For the record, I asked for that thread to be locked, and maybe others did too. This one should get locked up if it goes that way too. This isn't healthy for anyone, or the forum in general.


Veji - you gatta breath a bit and maybe take a break from forums. Not from music, just from the forums. I don't know what's going on in your life, maybe all is well and this is the only sore point, but if this is indicative of how you take feedback in other areas of your life then you need to talk to someone who can help you deal with these things or just take a break from it until you're ready, and there's no shame in that. Your music is fine. You can play guitar better than a number of people here. But the way you react to constructive criticism is unhealthy - to the point where half the time it's hard to tell if you're trolling or not. We can't help you with that. If you don't enjoy getting feedback then don't ask for feedback.

Let me repeat, once again: There's nothing wrong with your music.

If you put something out there, you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position. There's some personal risk there. When it's not received as well as you'd like, that can be kinda painful, and I can relate to that. I've put out some music before and got pretty upset when it went more or less unnoticed. Because you're right - it doesn't feel very good to put a lot of effort into something and not have it received the way you were expecting. That's normal.

You're also competing for attention and praise, up against every other piece of media everyone is bombarded with constantly. No matter how fantastic the music might be, if you catch the wrong crowd at the wrong time in the wrong circumstances, it'll get lost in the noise and that's just that. It happens to all of us. It's normal. It sucks, yes, but it's normal. You're trying to do something where only a tiny fraction of people really make it to that "seemingly universal praise" level. Those are the exceptions. Almost everyone else has to deal with that.

And it's fine. It's ok. It's perfectly good to make music for your own sake, which is what people have been trying to tell you. It's what almost all of us do.

Go grab a coffee and relax and take in the positive comments you've gotten and ignore the rest. Apply what people are trying to help you, or don't, whatever. Spend some time outside, with your family, etc. Play guitar because you like doing it, not to get internet popularity. Lots of us would love to have praise heaped upon us for the music we make, and when it happens that's great, but when it doesn't, that's also ok.

I said my piece. I'm not going to keep coming back here to go back and forth about it. I hope you can work out whatever is going on. Good luck.

100% understood and thank you - back to the topic-