Hail to the mother fucking king

[Kryss]

i figured a lot of the critics were people just being uppity and goody goody cause the game was supposedly so graphic and raunchy. that's the whole premise of duke nukem though. i just wrote it off as a smear campaign against the duke but good to hear from other people that it really is a fun game. i'll bet multiplayer is fun using the shrink ray and stuff like that hehe.

 

[AxeHappy]

I ordered it online...and now Canada post is on strike. This is all kinds of bullshit!

Haha! It's shipping UPS! I'll have my Balls of Steel tomorrow!

 

[Sepultorture]

Haha! It's shipping UPS! I'll have my Balls of Steel tomorrow!

"I Have Balls of FAIL"

LOL love that line

 

[leandroab]

"I Have Balls of FAIL"

LOL love that line

Gets me every time...


Fucking Duke Burger!!

I'm expecting some comments about his "quality hamburger meat" ahahha, like Duke3D's "No way I'm eating this shit"

 

[DavyH]

Got the Balls of Steel edition. Pretty cool.

Something happened in the 13 years since the last game though ...

Or am I missing something?

 

[Sepultorture]

Well I guess you can consider this my full game review of DNF

First off I’m probably in some aspect going to be biased as I am a huge Duke Nukem fan, played the side scroller and duke 3d/Atomic edition, and know them all inside and out. But trust me I will be noting things that I thought bothers me, some will probably be in line with game critics.

First off, the game for me was a blast, I had a great time playing this, took me back to the days of Duke 3d, but with the Vegas feels. That in itself was also a bit of a letdown, I felt like the revamped the old foes and stuck them in a new location, so it felt a little like Duke 3d, IN VEGAS. Some of the non action interactive moments were indeed a blast, interacting with the environment was awesome as usual, some more interaction with NPC’s would have been better, nothing like Fallout 3 mind you, but maybe just a little more dialogue.

The levels were a bit off and on I thought, where levels like the hive and lady killer casino, and even the parts where your small were a blast. Walking around a ruined Vegas felt kinda lifeless and sparse, there were no dark nights where the lights of Vegas were on and mesmerizing like in the old screen shots from early 2000’s. Running around the streets felt like a generic shooter, and I mean fucking GENERIC AS HELL, the Construction area felt the same way just before entering the Duke Dome.

The graphics are definitely an issue, doesn’t get on my nerves bad, but you can definitely tell this is a game that should have been released 3 or more years ago (shit this game could have been released 3 times already, more on that later).

The weapons were varied and fun, many rehashes again of Duke 3D, some of the Alien Ones were OK, but nothing to get excited over, except maybe the heavy 3 energy launcher weapon the enforcer drops. The fact that you can’t carry anymore than 2 weapons at once is quite disappointing, same with the pipe bombs and trip mines. Add the fact that there’s no option for scuba gear, having to go from air vent to air vent to get air under water, making exploring a bitch. No jetpack in single player, while it makes sense for the game layout, still sucks ass.

Again on the suck note, the EGO bar, the slowly ever increasing with each awesome thing you do life/shield bar meter. Interesting concept but it still sucks, when your EGO is low, there’s no health bar to back you up, you have to hide like a little bitch, and even when you do hide, some explosive weapons can still kill you if they hit your cover. Even on the regular difficulty setting I was getting owned constantly, and not by a few enemies, sometimes they’d come in some pretty overwhelming waves.

Still I pushed on, came up with strategies and moved forward

The boss fights were a welcome return that I love, big ridiculous bosses. All needing turrets or explosive weapons for you to take them down a notch on their energy bar. One boss fight that was a sad disappointment though was the fact that you fight the Cycloid Emperor, TWICE. The opening scene was nostalgia heaven, the closing fight was a massive, WTF?, WHYYYYYYYYYYY. Exact same boss, and very slightly different fighting tactics, was hoping for something new or exciting, again this is some rehash action, but a rehash of a rehash.

So this game might be a letdown in some categories, but not enough that I didn’t enjoy playing the shit out of it. I’m not even going to trade this game either, after 13 years I’m keeping this fucker.

So that’s my SO SO review of Duke Nukem Forever. It was a blast to play, with a few disappointments thrown in, but I still over all enjoyed the game and will continue to play the shit out of it till I have conquered everything possible.

Now to some thoughts on the future of duke. I looked at the time line of development and past screenshots of old, which are unlocked when you beat the game, and I am amazed at how this game wasn’t released 3 times before already. The screens from the quake 2 engine, coulda been a game right there, the screens from the unreal engine, could have been another game there, they chuck out some stuff and changed it up again, another game there, then cam this incarnation, all the renders of enemies and character and most graphics were already done, IN 2008 FOR FUCK SAKES.

This game I give kudos to Triptych for finishing it, but 3D Realms still should have pulled head from ass and finished the fucking thing, I give square blame on George Brossard for not being a better leader and pushing to have the game done in it’s initial form back in 2000. But now that the game is in Gearbox’s hand, I’m quite excited to see what amazing material comes out of their studio Duke wise. What we see right now for DNF for the single player campaign was not done by them at all, but all 3D Realms and finished by Tripych. Which gives me higher hopes for a sooner completed and better looking and revamped Duke Nukem.

Personally I think they should go back to the re-emergence of Dr. Proton and Bombshell, a central enemy Character and a woman that doesn’t fall for Duke would be pretty awesome.

Heres hoping the future for duke is bright, and NOT long in coming

 

[cyberwaste6996]

RUMORED dlc...
Duke Nukem Forever DLC detailed? News - - Page 1 | Eurogamer.net

 

[Sepultorture]

LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT, ESPECIALLY THE SINGLE PLAYER MAPS

 

[Kryss]

the multiplayer is kinda cool every weapon is so friggin overpowered lol. but i had a lot of fun playing on xboxlive. game so far isn't too bad. lots of great comments from duke and what not. capture the babe is fun too

 

[Prydogga]

Bit of a bump, and no hate to the game, as I'm eager to play it, but haven't got around to it yet. But GOOD GOD this is hilarious.

 

[vampiregenocide]

Started playing it today. It's okay so far, a lot of obvious issues.

 

[Sepultorture]

SO, after DUking it out for two weeks, beating it on all difficulties, getting all trophies, playing it with all the cheats on, big heads/little heads and so on, i'm pretty mch done on the entertainment end of things, i dunno if i even wanna wait for the single player maps. been thinking lately that this game is on the boring side of things now, the laughs are said and done and this doesn't have any real staying power like Duke 3D did, i played DN3D for a year straight and never got bored of it, i played this game in and out in two weeks.

i did indeed enjoy it, i wasn't one of those insta haters like alot of the critics, but this game i definitely have lost interest in. so i'm gunna trade this for something else like dead space or twoards the new gears of war game coming out soon while this thing still has some value, cus i think this will eventually turn intoa lemon price wise int he coming months if it hasn't already.

i'll pick it up again later down the road once all the DLC shit is out and this game is worth like $20 at Gamestop, but for now i think something else deserves my interest.

Makes me sad to trade a game i waited 13 long years for, but this game is definitely not a total keeper. hopefully Duke 5 will be the top of the tits seeing as it will be Gearbox making it from beginning to end, but until then, other games hold my interest.

 

[AxeHappy]

I'm enjoying the hell out of the Multi-player. So much so that I haven't even finished the single player yet.

 

[ItWillDo]

So I pretty much finished the game today, and this is how my experience with the game went (Explicit content):

"Duke Nukem Forever huh, it sure took that long to make it, better be worth it."

"Fuck yeah UMURRHHIKAAAAAAAAAHH!"

"FFFFFUUUCKK I'M PISSING LIKE A BAAWWWSS IN A FUCKING LOCKER ROOM, I CAN ALMOST FEEL THE TESTOSTERON FLOWING IN THROUGH MY PORES"

"HOLY SHIT IT'S THAT HUGE MOTHERFUCKER FROM THE LAST GAME AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY FUCKING GUNS. COME THE FUCK AT ME BRO!"

"AND IT'S GOOOOOD, THE CROWD GOES FUCKING MADD... Wait what? ... FFFFFUUUU IT'S A GAME IN A GAME, IT'S SO FUCKING DEEP I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT DICAPRIO IN A BRICK HOUSE FUCK.

Wait what, I was getting a blowjob too? SWEEEEEEET SOOO FUCKING MANLY UMURRHIKAAAAAA!"

"TAKE THIS KID, IF YOU WANNA BE COOL LIKE ME YOU'LL HAVE TO DITCH YOUR FAGGOT OF A DAD THOUGH AND BURY HIM IN YOUR BACKYARD."

"FUCK NO FAGGOT ARMOR! AND WHO THE FUCK IS HOGGING ALL THE STEROIDS?"

"HAIL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING KING BABY, FUCK YES VIRTUAL LAPDANCE! But what the fuck was up with the popcorn, and why didn't we get to see any of the playing-action ?"

"TO CONCLUDE ALL OF THIS SHIT, MY BALLS GREW TO 14 TIMES THEIR ORIGINAL SIZE AND I GAVE MYSELF A FUCKING BUZZCUT LIKE A BOSS. THE GAMEPLAY WAS OK, BUT IT WAS SO GODDAMN MANLY I DON'T EVEN GIVE A FUCK. NOW GO FUCKING PLAY IT AND I'M OFF TO SLAP SOME FUCKING WALLBOOBS"

 

[thatguy87]

Not to be a troll but honestly... this is one of the worst games I have played in my life, bar none. The comments are not at all funny and the environments are just annoying rather than challenging. no gold stars for you Duke.

 

[AxeHappy]

Good sir, my only response to that must be you haven't played very many games!

Go play FEAR 3 and then Duke seems like a shining Pillar of System Shockness. Or Wing Commander 3ness.

 

[Sepultorture]

wow FEAR 3 sucking hs my hopes down, i was looking forward to picking that up, guess i'll wait till it's 20 bucks

as for DNF being the worst, no, it's not, but it definitely has some glaring issues, and the first play was fun, lots of nostalgia going on, but after replays it shows you how much this one does sucks, but not the worst game ever trust me, theres some real nartsy turds out there.

on another note, Duke Nukem Begins might be a a possibility of a game being completely developed by Gearbox, could be good, who knows, just thank fuck it won't be made by 3drealms or in developement for 14 years

 

[AxeHappy]

Yeah, I was a huge FEAR fan. Crazy disappointed with the 3rd one. Didn't even bother beating it as Paxton. Just a terrible game in pretty much every possible way aside from Graphics.

 

[JPMike]

STRIPPERS!!!!!