Need advice on some crazy stuff

[johnythehero]

Okay so since I was like 3 I always felt...different per say. I was always being told to play with my toys because I kept playing house with my sisters stuff. That changed as I started listening to korn while my sisters where listening to Brittany spears and they kept me out of their room because I got scary . Well anyways, it kinda continued that way until I was like 5 and then I started complaining about how I didn't get the dresses and stuff. Needless to say my complaining got ended pretty quick by some words from my mom . Though that continued in secret for a while then when I hit high school I got over myself and admitted to my self I wasn't straight, and boy that was hard . Lately I have been having gender identity issues though which is weird at best. I want to talk to my mom about those things ,but I have had bad experiences with things like that in the past.

Tl;DR How does one explain to a pretty christian mom about being gay AND perhaps being a transsexual .

 

[squid-boy]

Depends... Has your mom been relatively understanding with other things in your life?

 

[johnythehero]

thats the problem. From things that have happened as I was growing up she didn't like what i did in that area.

 

[squid-boy]

I'd hold off for a while, then. If you're still living at home, wait until you move out. Then she can't make your life a living hell at home.

 

[decypher]

I agree completely, the last thing you need in the process of finding your own identity is some negative enforcement by a person who only wants what is "the best for you". Pretty christian moms are not really known for being extremely supportive towards the non-traditional lifestyles of their kids... instead of risking trouble in a relationship with dependencies like you living at home, I'd just keep quiet about it for now.

Go look online for forums where people discuss their transgender and/or gay issues in a positive way and find people that encourage you to follow your instincts instead of someone trying to force you into choices that you don't really want to make, especially at your age where you're still really just discovering stuff... (and as difficult it might seem to you right now, by all means don't start seeing yourself as "crazy"!!!)

 

[Dan_Vacant]

agreed wait till you move out

 

[squid-boy]

Other than that, congratulations. You have done what so many few people do: be honest to themselves and the world about who they are. You've done good.

 

[johnythehero]

thanks guys. I don't get the alone time I need to check this thread just to make sure no one is the wiser haha. This is just something thats hard to figure out. Its been a bit harder because my best girlfriend has been phoneless for a while.

 

[DrakkarTyrannis]

you were listening to korn at 3 in a christian household?

i couldn't even tell you what music besides cher was till i was at least like 9 haha.

And YOU aren't the gay one? Astonishing

So yeah, honestly, from one gay guy to another, it's a LOT easier to wait before you go telling your parents. By then chances are they would have had clues to help soften the blow.

Grow up, go away to college, get a support system, get friends, get a boyfriend or two, live the "life" and when you've done all this and moved out and all that, tell them. This way either it goes well, or if it goes badly you have friends and whatnot that can help you

 

[johnythehero]

I meant to say later on haha. I was like 7 I think when my dad showed me non pop music my favorites being korn and 3 days grace.

 

[johnythehero]

And YOU aren't the gay one? Astonishing

So yeah, honestly, from one gay guy to another, it's a LOT easier to wait before you go telling your parents. By then chances are they would have had clues to help soften the blow.

Grow up, go away to college, get a support system, get friends, get a boyfriend or two, live the "life" and when you've done all this and moved out and all that, tell them. This way either it goes well, or if it goes badly you have friends and whatnot that can help you

I was actually kinda waiting /hoping for you to post because your the only other gay guy I know on here haha. I probably will do just what you said. I feel weird getting this kind of advice from a guitar forum, but that just proves how awesome you guys are

 

[Stealthtastic]

Personally, I'd just play it by ear. So far youv'e realized who you are, which is more than alot of people could say.

I can't speak from speak from experience about talking to a parent about being gay, but I can say that I usually don't tell my parents about ANYTHING personal.

 

[Lady Gaga]

Lately I have been having gender identity issues though which is weird at best.

Hey, as someone who is transgender, this can be seriously hard-going. For me, it was something I denied for a long time, and I thought that I could never transition and that I would never look female. It wasn't until I saw other people's timelines posted online that I realized that it was actually possible. Here's some examples:





1 Year - YouTube

If you want to explore your gender identity, a good place to start might be here: transgender:questions

Hope you figure out what's right for you, and if you need someone to talk to in confidence, feel free to message me.

Hormones can work wonders

 

[butterschnapps]

Mom, you know there comes a time in a man's life when he has to determine if he really wants to be a man....well, that time came for me a long time ago, and after sitting on it for (however long) the desire to be a man never came.

Btw, ^ is pretty hot.

 

[Jakke]

Cudos for you to be brave enough to face facts, I respect that

But, if you are gay, and possibly transexual... Wouldn't that make you straight?







No no, I jest



I'm straight, so I really can't give you any advice, my parents are very well meaning, and would probably support me whatever gender I liked. As a matter of fact my mom has asked me on two separate occasions if I do play for the opposite team. She can't seem to remember my answer

Sang-Drax came out on here, so Drakkar and him are probably best to talk to. Both are really nice guys too

 

[Stealthdjentstic]

Razzy and Necris are bromos too.

 

[Jakke]

Razzy and Necris are bromos too.

^Those guys too? Well, you live and you learn

 

[Dvaienat]

Depends on how 'Christian' she is. Is she evangelical, or more moderate? If she is evangelical, she will not take nicely to having a homosexual son. I've heard stories about evangelical Christian parents evicting and/or disowning their gay children.

My mother is a believer, but was never bothered about homosexuality nor other 'sins'. As such she wouldn't care if I were gay.

In short, if she is evangelical, I'd hold it off until you're secure. If she is like mine, go ahead.

 

[BucketheadRules]

I've never experienced either of the feelings you're talking about, but this must be really hard for you and I wish you all the best.

Good luck.

 

[DaveFSJ]

I was just reading about Keith Caputo from 'Life of Agony' going through this, check it out, he, or should I say 'she' now goes into detail about the pressures and hardships associated with her gender transformation.