"Not Worth its own thread" Thread

[Randy]

No siblings. Which means I got babied like an only child.

Nothing wrong with that when it's actually the case.

Very different when, say, you try to make plans with your family and they get derailed because the favorite has other plans, etc.

Currently going through this because my sibling wants my parents to get a pool so that they don't have to pay for or take care of one themselves. So my mom calls me on the phone wanting me to find a contractor, compare prices, basically manage the some project for something i already told her I'm not going to use. The siblings that demanded it is not asked to do anything. Once they put it in, I'll also be asked to maintain it, because that's what happened last time.

 

[CanserDYI]

Man I'm the 4th of 5 children. I got the leftovers of fuggin EVERYTHING.

 

[SalsaWood]

I can see that being unfair. My buddy has a pool and this year has been playing hell trying to get algae out of it before July 4th. Supposedly the amphibians brought some kind of aggressive algae breed in and now he has to shock it and all their swim trunks every day so it doesn't bloom back. Pools are definitely a labor of love and if you don't have someone to use and maintain it during the summer it can become an albatross. We had a nice one growing up, but it was part of my chores to keep it nice. Pretty easy when you live there, don't have a job, and get most of the summer off from school- otherwise shit on it. Prevention is 90% of the game with pools, which means keeping to the schedule. If nobody is going to do that you might as well dig a hole and throw the money in there.

 

[Randy]

I can see that being unfair. My buddy has a pool and this year has been playing hell trying to get algae out of it before July 4th. Supposedly the amphibians brought some kind of aggressive algae breed in and now he has to shock it and all their swim trunks every day so it doesn't bloom back. Pools are definitely a labor of love and if you don't have someone to use and maintain it during the summer it can become an albatross. We had a nice one growing up, but it was part of my chores to keep it nice. Pretty easy when you live there, don't have a job, and get most of the summer off from school- otherwise shit on it. Prevention is 90% of the game with pools, which means keeping to the schedule. If nobody is going to do that you might as well dig a hole and throw the money in there.

I mean, it's constant.

My dad bought something off of marketplace yesterday that he had to go pick up today. Told my mom about it yesterday and she agreed to head over there with him after work to help get it.

Fast forward to this morning, my mom calls me and say hey that thing I was supposed to help your dad with this evening, your sibling called me up and wants me to go with them to the fair after work. Can you go help him instead? Which ruined my plans but that apparently didn't matter.

 

[Randy]

Making plans for 4th of July which is usually a family BBQ.

Well, your sibling said their friends are throwing a party so we're all doing that instead. Its like

 

[Crungy]

Making plans for 4th of July which is usually a family BBQ.

Well, your sibling said their friends are throwing a party so we're all doing that instead. Its like

Man, wtf.

 

[TedEH]

I want to say that sounds "normal" to me, but then that probably says more about the thin relationship between me and my parents than it does anything about "normal" family relationships.

 

[MetalDestroyer]

Not looking to crack this can of worms but I'll just say that being the oldest definitely does not guarantee preferential treatment

 

[Randy]

Not looking to crack this can of worms but I'll just say that being the oldest definitely does not guarantee preferential treatment

Part of the reason I'm probing around. I appreciate your input. Wanted to see how everyone else's experiences line up.

My two closest friends growing up were both second of two like me and they had essentially the same experience I have.

 

[Ordacleaphobia]

[...]wants my parents to get a pool [...]

Gunna stop ya right there.
As someone currently working with a contractor on getting a pool filled in as we speak- please do them a favor and try to talk them out of it in the unlikely event that you haven't already.
It is an unfathomably deep money pit that just. gets. deeper.
--
I had a fun somewhat-related problem where, as the oldest, my folks basically.....basically just didn't raise my younger brother; and that turned into my job. They spoiled him rotten until he was a teenager and then pulled the plug on any parental duties or guidance and I had to take over pretty much completely.

 

[Moongrum]

Not looking to crack this can of worms but I'll just say that being the oldest definitely does not guarantee preferential treatment

How it was in my family, too. My eldest brother had it HARD. He also was a troublemaker, though. I learned watching my sister and brother, and coasted through getting raised lol.

 

[Randy]

Gunna stop ya right there.
As someone currently working with a contractor on getting a pool filled in as we speak- please do them a favor and try to talk them out of it in the unlikely event that you haven't already.
It is an unfathomably deep money pit that just. gets. deeper.
--
I had a fun somewhat-related problem where, as the oldest, my folks basically.....basically just didn't raise my younger brother; and that turned into my job. They spoiled him rotten until he was a teenager and then pulled the plug on any parental duties or guidance and I had to take over pretty much completely.

The sad irony here is that they already had a pool that was filled in LOL. And three, yes count them three times they put up a above ground pool also at the request of the other child and each time it had some issue that resulted in me having to either fix or take it down.

I didn't get far enough into this this time to even find out what kind of pool they had in mind. I said well, it's your idea, your house, and your money, you make it happen, goodbye.

I guess part of the reason i posed the question is because I've finally taken to the habit of saying no when i get handed an assignment at the request of the Golden child.

 

[gabito]

being the oldest definitely does not guarantee preferential treatment

Yeah.

I've finally taken to the habit of saying no when i get handed an assignment at the request of the Golden child.

As a general rule: people don't change. But you can always try to change yourself (break the cycle, etc.).

 

[Seabeast2000]

Anybody else have an older sibling that still gets babied like an only child?

I had a younger sibling that got babied like an only grandchild by their parents.

 

[Randy]

Friar Tuck sounds like a sex thing

 

[Crungy]

Friar Tuck sounds like a sex thing

It makes me think it's a name of a piercing like a Prince Albert

 

[Randy]

It makes me think it's a name of a piercing like a Prince Albert

I dub thee official term for foreskin that doesn't go all the way up

 

[BlackMastodon]

My buddy has a pool and this year has been playing hell trying to get algae out of it before July 4th.

Glad it's not just me having algae problems this year. I'm almost certain mine is due to to the way my dad configured the pipe leading to the pump last fall, it isn't perfectly level and/or sealed so there's extra air going in, and at the lower RPM settings it wasn't getting enough flow to properly circulate and chlorinate the water. Gotta clean it up and maintain for now until I can get that fixed. I don't mind maintaining and taking care of my own pool, but if someone tried to guilt me into taking care of theirs I'd tell them to kick rocks, family or not.

Also, insane that your parents had an I ground pool, filled it, and are now being suckered into doing it again. My parents got a quote to put in an in ground pool a few years ago and they quoted something absolutely stupid like $110k.

 

[Randy]

Also, insane that your parents had an I ground pool, filled it, and are now being suckered into doing it again. My parents got a quote to put in an in ground pool a few years ago and they quoted something absolutely stupid like $110k.

When they bought the house, it came with a pretty large concrete in ground pool (~60ft x 25ft). It was semi-functional and we used it a lot when i was growing up, but much of the plumbing running through the concrete was fractured from age and construction, plus there were some cracks in the concrete as well as design issues (like a large ~2ft deep area) that caused it to drain and evaporate water at a tremendous rate. So the bills to fill and maintain it were enormous.

Eventually the cracks and plumbing issues were too much so they abandoned it. I think the first version of the above ground idea was actually just dropping it down into the old pool and surrounding it with a deck. That actually worked pretty well but the sand the pool sat on was hard to maintain because it was prone to wanting to wash away with the hard surface of the concrete underneath it, so the liner would shift or the wall would shift causing either tears or the water to not reach the skimmer and the pump to run dry.

I think it was at that point they decided to remove the pool, smash up the cement and fill it in. The above ground never worked great anywhere they put it after that, either not enough sunlight, constant leaves shedding into it, no privacy etc so they kept going up, barely getting used, turning green and coming down.

I think in their mind if they actually had a new installation or a formed fiberglass pool basically where the first one was, itll work this time. I dont entirely disagree with it in theory but i don't want that headache.

 

[Fenriswolf]

Not looking to crack this can of worms but I'll just say that being the oldest definitely does not guarantee preferential treatment

Neither does being the only child. I had a mom who always complained about how she wanted a girl..and between me and her one of us doesn't understand how adoption works. And with my dad...I mean it probably counts as abuse now, but back then it was just act right dumbass.

I mean I could have damn near anything I wanted, because it was my money and I'm the one who worked my ass off to earn it. I had a lot of friends that couldn't understand why my "allowance" had a per hour attached to it.