Other People Using Your Instruments / Gear

[Charlie Foxtrot 3rd]

Dude.........dude.

about a year ago my in-laws came to visit. When they arrived I was in my shed/workshop working on a guitar I had purchased for my daughter. Once done I turned of the stereo and could hear (no shit) one of my guitars being played (1981 Gibson SG). I raced up the stairs, my heart beating out of my chest with rage to walk in and see my brother in law sitting on the floor playing it. Dude. I haven’t lost my shit like that in a looooooong time. Needless to say it got biblical. Threats were made, things were said that cannot be unsaid. He didn’t know it but he was seconds from having some fingers broken. They left. Haven’t been back. So win I guess. My wife copped a bit of hard time from her family at a birthday party afterwards, she shrugged and said “well, he cares more for those guitars than he does for most humans”. Funny thing is I’ve told them not to touch any of my guitars or guitar related gear. Just don’t.

 

[akinari]

Man, weird flexes all over this thread. I guess it's different if you have "nice" guitars, but... geez.

 

[USMarine75]

Man, weird flexes all over this thread. I guess it's different if you have "nice" guitars, but... geez.

I'd freak out even with my <$300 guitars. No means no.

 

[Fred the Shred]

It's a matter of the most basic respect. It doesn't really matter if the guitar in question is a 300, 3000 or 30000 dollar guitar; what does matter is that someone is simply not even bothering to ensure he CAN touch the thing, let alone play it. As for the whole "weird flexes", you are free to have people play with your gear, but it will happen under two premises: you are cool with it, i.e. you authorized it and you know it is happening. This is a completely different scenario altogether.

 

[bcboz]

I'd probably be a bit funny if they didn't ask, but pretty much anyone can have a go on any of my gear.
Lending stuff out is a different matter altogether.

 

[GunpointMetal]

Man, weird flexes all over this thread. I guess it's different if you have "nice" guitars, but... geez.

Most people are shitheads, this stuff is expensive. Shitheads need to at the very least ASK if they can use something, and at the very least treat it respectfully if permission is granted. Nobody ever asks to borrow my shit at shows anymore, though. Helix into a powered wedge and a 9-string guitar will scare away most of the idiots that can't bring their own stuff to shows. And if you show up to a show and start asking to borrow gear, you are in fact, an idiot.

 

[High Plains Drifter]

I was surprised with the responses. If someone ( parent, friend, coworker, etc) was nice enough to let me keep something at their home or business with no candid discussion of terms ( who could use it, in what way they could use it, how long I would be leaving it with them, etc), then although I'd certainly be pissed if it wound up getting broken or messed up... most of my anger would be towards myself. I was the one who made the decision that my stuff wasn't valuable enough to take care of myself. Now if there was an open discussion about it prior, and if the person completely agreed to my terms then yeah... I'd be more inclined to be pissed at them because they took on the responsibility of assuring that my stuff would 100% taken care of.

 

[Splenetic]

Oh to add to my previous post... there was a time when I would have much more people over and shit, when I was younger and less cranky hahah. Anyway, in our group of friends, there was this one guy. I was lukewarm about him back then, but since becoming more careful and blunt with the people I choose as friends, I just plain don't like him. Just the type to brag about every fucking thing, even dumb trivial shit, and a total sleezebag. The type that will brag about how he's got four girls he's playing, even as you're rolling your eyes and clearly just wanna say "SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP.ALREADY"

Anyway...he'd grab one of my guitars once in a while, and I swear I didn't even like seeing him with it. It's something akin to the effect of seeing your girlfriend dancing with a skeezeball at a bar... you know it means nothing, but even if your law is never to dance, you just jump in there and step right in front of the fucker and swoop your lady away from him.

To that effect, whenever he'd pick it up, he'd do his little diarrhea flop melodies for like a minute and I'd be like "oh cool, nice transition there. Lemme try something with that"

Then take two notes from his fucking crappy dipshittery, and base a full shreddy run with it, transitioning to some tight rhythmic shit, and back to shred.....everyone else is like "oh shiiiiit" and hand it back to him. He stops playing and puts it back where he found it.

Fuck that guy.

 

[gnoll]

I was surprised with the responses. If someone ( parent, friend, coworker, etc) was nice enough to let me keep something at their home or business with no candid discussion of terms ( who could use it, in what way they could use it, how long I would be leaving it with them, etc), then although I'd certainly be pissed if it wound up getting broken or messed up... most of my anger would be towards myself. I was the one who made the decision that my stuff wasn't valuable enough to take care of myself. Now if there was an open discussion about it prior, and if the person completely agreed to my terms then yeah... I'd be more inclined to be pissed at them because they took on the responsibility of assuring that my stuff would 100% taken care of.

The fact that the guitar was at my parents' place wasn't exactly the point of the thread. I was mostly surprised that someone would just help themselves to someone else's (expensive) guitar like that.

But if you're interested in determining who's to blame for the incident, or just want to point out to me that I'm careless and obviously don't value my stuff, then go ahead I guess. I don't really care.

 

[Splenetic]

Not to mention the fact that it was at your parents' house, not just anybody, and it was played by some random who is not one of the two people in such a scenario (your parents) who could claim any sort of right to touch it. I can totally understand your frustration.

 

[Fred the Shred]

I was surprised with the responses. If someone ( parent, friend, coworker, etc) was nice enough to let me keep something at their home or business with no candid discussion of terms ( who could use it, in what way they could use it, how long I would be leaving it with them, etc), then although I'd certainly be pissed if it wound up getting broken or messed up... most of my anger would be towards myself. I was the one who made the decision that my stuff wasn't valuable enough to take care of myself. Now if there was an open discussion about it prior, and if the person completely agreed to my terms then yeah... I'd be more inclined to be pissed at them because they took on the responsibility of assuring that my stuff would 100% taken care of.

So, if I leave something at my Dad's for whatever reason, he is somehow supposed to assume my stuff is basically a free-for-all bonanza unless I very explicitly state who is supposed to touch it and the circumstances? I make no claims of knowing exactly how family ties work everywhere, but I'm certain nobody would be touching my stuff without my permission at my own father's place with him watching, just like the OP.

What is the point you're trying to make here? It's not like he randomly dropped his kit at his meth addicted friend's place where he happens to get high as a kite along his 24 trusted neighbours / hobos / perfect strangers of the day, but rather his parents' place, which is regarded as a safe place to keep his things, which might even be there to be well taken care of until other matters were sorted (and it's really none of our business anyway).

 

[MaxOfMetal]

So long as there's no permanent damage, I'm fairly indifferent.

Though I tend to treat guitars as tools, not priceless artifacts. Even my more expensive ($3k+) ones.

That's not to say there might be a feeling of "violation" depending on the circumstances. I get that way with my kitchen knives, of all things. They were originally made by a friend of the family who no longer makes them (do to age and health). Leave it to the Mrs. or a guest to use them to open a package.

 

[Splenetic]

Yeah but what about when tools play with your tools, like in my post above?

That's some Toolception I just can't get behind.

Oh god, especially if they busted out Tool riffs while at it.

 

[Sogradde]

There is a special place in hell for people who show up to a gig with no gear.
I had people ask if they can use my guitar because they "forgot" to bring theirs, no joke. Also always asking for (speaker) cables and """accidentally""" taking them home. I want these people to step on Lego every day for the rest of their lives.

One of the perks of going full wireless + Helix is that no one asks to borrow your stuff.

 

[Fred the Shred]

At a gig, safe for the odd horrible mishap (tour van robbed, gear breaking during soundcheck), I always assume the bare minimum anyone with a hint of professionalism can do is to bring their own kit or use pre-arranged loaners, so it's a particular case for me: if you don't care for your own gig enough to ensure you have the necessary tools to perform, especially in this day and age, then I have no warranty you'll have any more care for the gear I'd lend you, so it's not happening. Fortunately, it's incredibly uncommon to face that sort of situation at all. And no, my guitars "looking cool" or "you always wanted to try out X" doesn't mean you get to gig them. Sit down, place the guitar on your lap, have a noodle, put it back on the rack, there done.

I have showed my guitars to a ton of people after gigs and whatnot, and actually encourage them to give them a strum or have a noodle to see if they dig the feel, no problem at all. Thing is that people don't just try to go and grab a guitar off the rack, and are typically very respectful and somewhat contrived, which is a sign of them understanding that these are my tools of the trade on one hand, and feeling they don't want to intrude, so it's usually the opposite thing where I invite someone that is clearly interested to have a go. Abusive folks or the smartass variety are typically lucky to even see them in my hands after a show, let alone touch them.

 

[High Plains Drifter]

The fact that the guitar was at my parents' place wasn't exactly the point of the thread. I was mostly surprised that someone would just help themselves to someone else's (expensive) guitar like that.

But if you're interested in determining who's to blame for the incident, or just want to point out to me that I'm careless and obviously don't value my stuff, then go ahead I guess. I don't really care.

I'm not trying to direct "blame" on anyone. Maybe chill? Was simply playing devil's advocate in regards to another perspective. I'm absolutely not saying that it should be okay to destroy someone's stuff and since I don't even know you, I surely wouldn't suggest that you're careless. I am sorry that your guitar was damaged and I sincerely hope in the future that your parents use more discretion and don't allow something like this to happen again.

 

[High Plains Drifter]

So, if I leave something at my Dad's for whatever reason, he is somehow supposed to assume my stuff is basically a free-for-all bonanza unless I very explicitly state who is supposed to touch it and the circumstances? I make no claims of knowing exactly how family ties work everywhere, but I'm certain nobody would be touching my stuff without my permission at my own father's place with him watching, just like the OP.

What is the point you're trying to make here? It's not like he randomly dropped his kit at his meth addicted friend's place where he happens to get high as a kite along his 24 trusted neighbours / hobos / perfect strangers of the day, but rather his parents' place, which is regarded as a safe place to keep his things, which might even be there to be well taken care of until other matters were sorted (and it's really none of our business anyway).

Two sides to every story. I made my point... I try to always look after my stuff and not assume that everyone else is going to take the care to protect my things in the way that I would. The fact that you strongly disagree doesn't necessarily mean that it's a black/ white issue. It was a discussion. I gave my two cents... big deal.

 

[Jacksonluvr636]

Depends on the item and how much I care about it. In your situation I wouldn't be happy. Without people asking first it is just rude but I agree with the first reply in that if it is that important to you, why leave it somewhere else? I am sure it wasn't expected but.....yeah.

For me most times I was even in a position like this was at a show where someone just really wanted to use my gear for whatever reason. These days I will never let someone use my guitar at a show unless they are a close friend. I really dislike letting other bands use my amp as well. I am sorry your amp broke or that my amp sounds better but that is not my problem. Unless it is someone I actually know I am hesitant because it usually ends up with an issue. I used to always without a problem say SURE, no problem trying to be nice but when things happen like oops sorry I didn't know the ohms of my cab sorry about your broken amp or damn I knocked your amp over and I am not going to give you cash to fix your broken tubes it is really just not worth my troubles. There have been several times I lent gear with no issues but those few issues that did arise just makes me say nope, sorry. A few assholes ruin it for everyone else.

 

[PunkBillCarson]

Dude.........dude.

about a year ago my in-laws came to visit. When they arrived I was in my shed/workshop working on a guitar I had purchased for my daughter. Once done I turned of the stereo and could hear (no shit) one of my guitars being played (1981 Gibson SG). I raced up the stairs, my heart beating out of my chest with rage to walk in and see my brother in law sitting on the floor playing it. Dude. I haven’t lost my shit like that in a looooooong time. Needless to say it got biblical. Threats were made, things were said that cannot be unsaid. He didn’t know it but he was seconds from having some fingers broken. They left. Haven’t been back. So win I guess. My wife copped a bit of hard time from her family at a birthday party afterwards, she shrugged and said “well, he cares more for those guitars than he does for most humans”. Funny thing is I’ve told them not to touch any of my guitars or guitar related gear. Just don’t.

I won't lie, I have to know how the convo with your brother-in-law went. Also, if you can lose your in-laws, the sooner the better, so long as you get to keep the wife.

 

[cwhitey2]

I leave 90% of my gear and 2 guitars at my drummers house. I have absolutely no problem with him using any of my gear as he is a guitar player as well and gear is mean to be played.

That being said...if you're not in my band or in one of my 'bro bands' then fuck off. If you want to use my cab that's fine...but absolutely nothing else. I have seen to many horror story's.