The "Stupid Stuff the Audience Says" Thread

[LeviathanKiller]

Every now and often we get people from the audience who come up to us and say things that just don't make any sense at all or they're totally hilarious. This thread is dedicated to those comments and the people who say them.

Just remember dear audience, we love you, but you're crazy sometimes.

 

[LeviathanKiller]

An example post for this thread...

section 1:

im in a 3 piece, with a 5 string bassist and a 7 string guitar (me). my girlfriend brought her friend to the gig, she loved it even though she also loves katy perry; confusing but flattering all the same.
apparently halfway throuigh the set the following dialogue ensued:
friend: i can't tell which ones making which notes!?
gf: ones a bass and ones a guitar, the guitar will be the higher notes
f: i can't tell which ones the bass and which is the guitar, they both look like they've got more strings than normal, i thought they were both guitars.

i thought that was funny - probably not as funny in print as it was talking in person about it afterwards

section 2:

some guy in the audience with guitar knowledge - said it to someone else who then relayed to me: "man when i walked in i thought it sounded like the best live guitar tone i'd ever heard, i walked up to the stage to see what amp and cab and realised it was some digital modeller. it would have sounded better if he had real tubes and a real cab."

i dont think he thought that sentence all the way through to the end

section 3:

another guy commenting directly to me afterwards: "that was good man, but like, the bassist has 5 strings and you have 7, that makes 12 strings. if the bassist got a 6 string bass and you played a 6 string guitar you'd still have 12 strings between the two of you and you'd sound the same and have a better look"

^^ thanks friend, i'll definitely consider that little pearl of wisdom.

people are great aren't they?

 

[Alimination]

hehe, can't say I've encountered anything of such.

Though there is one guy here in town known as "Patches". Always gets wasted and screams "KILL ALL POSERS" in between every other song. Sometimes steals the mic and says it through that as well. lol

but really that's as much as I've witnessed =/

 

[Edika]

For section 3 guy maybe he had OCD and wanted the instruments to have even numbers of strings instead of uneven hahaha!

There was a guy I knew that thought every band was copying essentially Manowar and Malmsteen. We went to concerts with him just so we can argue with him afterwards about this hahahahaha! I think after a few times he finally caught on to us and stopped expressing himself even though I am sure he never changed his mind!

 

[oliviergus]

My band played away from our hometown a week ago.

Then there was a wasted old man who steps forwards (while we are playing) and starts to scream "STOP IT!!!!" Then he headbanged some, puked and ran away.

 

[Thep]

I have a habit of shouting, "play Hammer Smashed Face!!" regardless of what band is on stage if that counts.

 

[TheDuatAwaits]

My friend Brandon asked Phil Bozeman to sign his foreskin at the end of Whitechapel's set...

 

[walleye]

i've only got one other one to share, a guy came up to me after a show years ago and said "man you'd sound better with a les paul" and i was like "hmm maybe he'll have a good reason, maybe he'll tell me the boosted mids from the gibson will cut more" so i said "oh yeah why?" and he went "because they fking rock bro!"

 

[Blasphemer]

Not necessarily what the audience said, but what I heard:

Dude: Man, you guys melted my face!
Me: What?! I hit you in the face?! I'm so sorry, man!

This was an actual fear, because when I play the only things I have control over are my fingers. My other limbs just kind of flail around, most of the time taking my guitar with them.

 

[ZEBOV]

FREEBIRD!

 

[Moonfridge]

FREEBIRD!

I shout that at like every gig I go to haha

 

[TasmanSam]

"play some Korn"

Gets shouted a lot around here.

other than that the kiddies at the hardcore shows can't really shout because their jeans are too tight.

 

[iron blast]

I get the whole Why are you guys trying to be like kiss thing with my band for us wearing corpse paint lol I've been told we'd sound better if we didn't wear paint too.

 

[Dickicker]

the best thing is when people yell freebird at one of my metal shows and i start to play it.

 

[Alimination]

the best thing is when people yell freebird at one of my metal shows and i start to play it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=foDpiNF3MYQ (watch around 1:20)

 

[JunkMan13013]

FREEBIRD!

/Thread really lol

Nothing weird has been ever said to me apart from "can you get me the singers number" which at the time was weird cause it was a well known fact that me and the singer were together, and he meant it.

 

[GHost_QC]

Almost every single gig in here, there is always some few bums that keep shouting "Wall of Death!!" or even "Puffokout !!" (Referring to a local band's song about taking a knife hit, but in french )

People here are crazy as shit (in the good way !), every single bands (either local or international ones) often state our town as one of the craziest place to play a gig 'coz, we aren't in great number as we live in a small town but every single motherfuckers in here knows that having a great metal shows with great bands is a privilege in such a small town !

 

[Asterix]

More Cowbell.

 

[VILARIKA]

Slayer!

 

[cwhitey2]

After a show.

Kid: Hey what kind of pickups are those in your guitar? I like your tone. And i need new pups for my guitar.

Me: Oh, they are SD Blackouts.

Kid: OHHHHH....i don't want a black metal sound i guess ill just buy EMG's



I don't even play anything close to black metal...so i would like to know how he came to the conclusion they sounded 'black metal'. I was in a metalcorish band at the time.