Tales from Retail: SSO Edition

[soliloquy]

I used to work at Walmart, in its food department. More specifically, in its Meat and Deli department.
the amount of times Id get morons with a moronic look in their eyes, as they screen everything in horizon, looking for something that wont remotely be possibly located in the food aisle.

"excuse me, can you point me in the direction of electronics/dumbells/garden supplies/clothing/(insert ANYTHING NOT FOOD RELATED)? I've checked EVERYWHERE and cant seem to find it"

sure, id give you the benefit of the doubt...but seriously, why would anyone hide dumb bells under racks of fresh meat? why are you wasting your time searching for something you know, logically, wont be there?


and related to my department:
"excuse me, where do you keep your hamburgers?"
Id proceed to take them to the fresh hamburger section
"no, you know, 'ham-burgers'"?
id proceed to take them to the frozen patties section, only to see their reaction getting frustrated
"no, i'm looking for H-A-M-B-U-R-G-E-R"
stare at them blankly until they would walk away.

5 mins later, they'd walk up to me with a case of ground beef, bringing it to my face: "see? hamburger!!"

ground beef is taco? no one asks you to pass 'the taco' when referring to ground beef....

I'd let it slide if it was a 1 off, but it happened frequently enough where someone is teaching people that hamburgers are the same as ground beef....

 

[TedEH]

someone is teaching people that hamburgers are the same as ground beef....

This might be a locale thing - if anyone said "hamburger" here, I'd assume they meant either an assembled or frozen burger, or ground beef. It's "burger meat". It's the stuff burgers are made of.

 

[BenjaminW]

I did a summer at Safeway, and it wasn't a bad job at all but I of course have my stories.

I once got a lady asking me for specifically an older $100 bill. Like one that doesn't have the big blue strip on it. When I asked her why she specifically needed that version, she said something that I didn't hear, but it didn't really take long for me to assume she wanted to counterfeit it.

I also had some middle-aged women who were more than a little buzzed come up to my register for something, and one of them mentioned they were celebrating one of them getting a divorce. They honestly looked like your stereotypical Real Housewives cast.

Some of the stuff we had for sale such as razor cartridges or laundry detergent had to be locked up, and at least with the laundry detergent I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that people would steal them and sell/trade them for drugs. I don't understand the connection or what someone like Walter White would need a bunch of detergent for.

Beyond that the worst of my customers were cranky old people or annoying high schoolers.

 

[soliloquy]

I did a summer at Safeway, and it wasn't a bad job at all but I of course have my stories.

I once got a lady asking me for specifically an older $100 bill. Like one that doesn't have the big blue strip on it. When I asked her why she specifically needed that version, she said something that I didn't hear, but it didn't really take long for me to assume she wanted to counterfeit it.

I also had some middle-aged women who were more than a little buzzed come up to my register for something, and one of them mentioned they were celebrating one of them getting a divorce. They honestly looked like your stereotypical Real Housewives cast.

Some of the stuff we had for sale such as razor cartridges or laundry detergent had to be locked up, and at least with the laundry detergent I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that people would steal them and sell/trade them for drugs. I don't understand the connection or what someone like Walter White would need a bunch of detergent for.

Beyond that the worst of my customers were cranky old people or annoying high schoolers.

razors are locked because people steal them, and/or chances of people using them as weapons, or to cut themselves
detergent can be locked (it isn't locked in Ontario, at least not in my experience), however, i'd assume that if its locked its because people are eating them.

 

[crushingpetal]

It wasn’t really retail but I still dealt with the general public at a library for my high school job. I will never get over how apoplectic some people became over their late fines. Literally losing their shit over 20 cents. “I RETURNED THAT. I’M NOT PAYING.”

I've had two library jobs and I'm racking my brain for some kind of hellscape story. But... nothing. They were pleasant and people were really well behaved. Damn. All I gots is this: