Tales from Retail: SSO Edition

[soliloquy]

I used to work at Walmart, in its food department. More specifically, in its Meat and Deli department.
the amount of times Id get morons with a moronic look in their eyes, as they screen everything in horizon, looking for something that wont remotely be possibly located in the food aisle.

"excuse me, can you point me in the direction of electronics/dumbells/garden supplies/clothing/(insert ANYTHING NOT FOOD RELATED)? I've checked EVERYWHERE and cant seem to find it"

sure, id give you the benefit of the doubt...but seriously, why would anyone hide dumb bells under racks of fresh meat? why are you wasting your time searching for something you know, logically, wont be there?


and related to my department:
"excuse me, where do you keep your hamburgers?"
Id proceed to take them to the fresh hamburger section
"no, you know, 'ham-burgers'"?
id proceed to take them to the frozen patties section, only to see their reaction getting frustrated
"no, i'm looking for H-A-M-B-U-R-G-E-R"
stare at them blankly until they would walk away.

5 mins later, they'd walk up to me with a case of ground beef, bringing it to my face: "see? hamburger!!"

ground beef is taco? no one asks you to pass 'the taco' when referring to ground beef....

I'd let it slide if it was a 1 off, but it happened frequently enough where someone is teaching people that hamburgers are the same as ground beef....

 

[TedEH]

someone is teaching people that hamburgers are the same as ground beef....

This might be a locale thing - if anyone said "hamburger" here, I'd assume they meant either an assembled or frozen burger, or ground beef. It's "burger meat". It's the stuff burgers are made of.

 

[BenjaminW]

I did a summer at Safeway, and it wasn't a bad job at all but I of course have my stories.

I once got a lady asking me for specifically an older $100 bill. Like one that doesn't have the big blue strip on it. When I asked her why she specifically needed that version, she said something that I didn't hear, but it didn't really take long for me to assume she wanted to counterfeit it.

I also had some middle-aged women who were more than a little buzzed come up to my register for something, and one of them mentioned they were celebrating one of them getting a divorce. They honestly looked like your stereotypical Real Housewives cast.

Some of the stuff we had for sale such as razor cartridges or laundry detergent had to be locked up, and at least with the laundry detergent I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that people would steal them and sell/trade them for drugs. I don't understand the connection or what someone like Walter White would need a bunch of detergent for.

Beyond that the worst of my customers were cranky old people or annoying high schoolers.

 

[soliloquy]

I did a summer at Safeway, and it wasn't a bad job at all but I of course have my stories.

I once got a lady asking me for specifically an older $100 bill. Like one that doesn't have the big blue strip on it. When I asked her why she specifically needed that version, she said something that I didn't hear, but it didn't really take long for me to assume she wanted to counterfeit it.

I also had some middle-aged women who were more than a little buzzed come up to my register for something, and one of them mentioned they were celebrating one of them getting a divorce. They honestly looked like your stereotypical Real Housewives cast.

Some of the stuff we had for sale such as razor cartridges or laundry detergent had to be locked up, and at least with the laundry detergent I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that people would steal them and sell/trade them for drugs. I don't understand the connection or what someone like Walter White would need a bunch of detergent for.

Beyond that the worst of my customers were cranky old people or annoying high schoolers.

razors are locked because people steal them, and/or chances of people using them as weapons, or to cut themselves
detergent can be locked (it isn't locked in Ontario, at least not in my experience), however, i'd assume that if its locked its because people are eating them.

 

[crushingpetal]

It wasn’t really retail but I still dealt with the general public at a library for my high school job. I will never get over how apoplectic some people became over their late fines. Literally losing their shit over 20 cents. “I RETURNED THAT. I’M NOT PAYING.”

I've had two library jobs and I'm racking my brain for some kind of hellscape story. But... nothing. They were pleasant and people were really well behaved. Damn. All I gots is this:

 

[will_shred]

Me: Replaces a broken speaker in a customers amp, I chose a speaker that I like I thought would work well with the amp.

Customer: Why does my amp sound DIFFERENT? I DEMAND A REFUND

 

[will_shred]

My favorite customers are the one's who are really particular about their gear but at the same time don't know jack shit but think they know everything.

 

[TedEH]

I chose a speaker that I like

Was the original available? If I got a sudden speaker swap to someone elses taste for no reason, I'd be kinda annoyed too.

 

[Ordacleaphobia]

My favorite customers are the one's who are really particular about their gear but at the same time don't know jack shit but think they know everything.

bro i dont even know you how you just gunna come up and call me out like that

 

[crushingpetal]

Me: Replaces a broken speaker in a customers amp, I chose a speaker that I like I thought would work well with the amp.

Customer: Why does my amp sound DIFFERENT? I DEMAND A REFUND

Also, even if you replaced it with an identical speaker, it will sound different pre-break-in. You'd probably get crap for that, too.

 

[will_shred]

Was the original available? If I got a sudden speaker swap to someone elses taste for no reason, I'd be kinda annoyed too.

I guess for me its the attitude. Its not a "I don't really dig this speaker, can we do something different?"

Its "IT SOUNDS LIKE SHITE ARUGGGGGG"

I was not able to get a direct replacement for the OG so I picked something that I thought would be a good fit

 

[Randy]

Me: Replaces a broken speaker in a customers amp, I chose a speaker that I like I thought would work well with the amp.

Customer: Why does my amp sound DIFFERENT? I DEMAND A REFUND

I find that there's different, errr... I dunno how to phrase it, maybe tribes of musicians? They come in with different demands/expectations based on whatever tribe they're crowdsourcing them from.

I'm so used to reading SSO or other deep dive metal community posts for the last 20 years, I just assume everyones coming in looking for a used prestige with bareknuckles, a 5150, etc.

I think most guys I encounter are getting their gear advice from Premier Guitar or Guitar World or whatever mainstream "ads with some music tidbits sprinkled in" that is still getting views these days. Everyone is interested the new Reverend or Yamaha or Kramer, Supros, that goofy Fender multieffect pedal etc. Just random bland stuff you only see on ads or a Paul Riario demo that I probably wouldn't touch with a 10 ft pole.

To that end, it doesnt come as a big surprise when a customer asks for something super vague and they end up surprised/unhappy with what I come up with.