"Not Worth its own thread" Thread

[Crungy]

Dude...mayo is a staple food. That's insanity.

That's how I feel but I get it, some people don't like mayo or have no interest. (@SalsaWood or shall I say, INTREST)

I love that stuff and like making flavored ones with chili powder and lime juice, or minced garlic. I'm a huge proponent of sauces for food.

 

[nightsprinter]

I used to raise hot peppers for hot sauces and spice mix. The spice mix was a blend of dried peppers, mustard seed, garlic, and a few other sundries. At any rate, I had a squirrel coming after my tomato plants, so stealthily snuk a habanero in between the tomatoes the next spring.

And I was lucky enough to witness when the little bugger tried to steal a habanero. You know how squirrels do that little chatter thing and it can get rather angry sounding if they're really throwing into it? Yeah, I got about twenty minutes of that while this dude ran around carrying a gnawed on habanero, waving it around at other squirrels like he was going, "Taste this shit! Can you believe the gall of this fucker?" One of the most entertaining morning watering routines of my life.

lol. I trained the squirrels in my yard to eat peanuts out of my hand and my back porch is basically a nut dispensary now. Sometimes they'll bring a friend or two and be like "dude watch this...this guy gives us nuts!!!" and then they slowly become my buddies too. Luckily for me they stay away from my garden. There's a big old woodchuck who keeps eating my pumpkin plants though.

 

[nightflameauto]

lol. I trained the squirrels in my yard to eat peanuts out of my hand and my back porch is basically a nut dispensary now. Sometimes they'll bring a friend or two and be like "dude watch this...this guy gives us nuts!!!" and then they slowly become my buddies too. Luckily for me they stay away from my garden. There's a big old woodchuck who keeps eating my pumpkin plants though.

I may have told this one before. I'm old enough, just nod quietly and walk away if you've heard it before.

When grandpa and grandma went into the retirement home, they did what they always do with everything and made it their own. Within a year they had the residents planting their own garden, and using the crops of make their own salads and fruit bowls in the evenings.

By the next year, gramps and me were hanging out back watching the 'maters grow, as we say, and gramps is showing me how he's got these squirrels that'll just walk right up him and beg for nuts. Which he always had, so good for them. Now, the other dudes and gals in the joint were all jealous of gramps 'cause they couldn't understand why the squirrels wouldn't approach them. They were out there with him all the time, and were relatively quiet. Though not "farmer blending in quiet," which seemed to be a concept most of them couldn't wrap their head around.

So, me and gramps, we always had that, "Can just sit there doin' fuck-all for hours" thing. Like, we could have the best time just hanging somewhere watching the trees, or the wildlife, or the mall rats or whatever. So, he, being the wise-ass he always was, says to the bitties and old dudes, "It's easy to get the squirrels to come to ya. Watch." Then takes me out there, sets me in a lawn chair next to his, and within ten minutes I've got three squirrels down by my feet beggin' and pleading for nuts faster than I can hand 'em out, and two of the little buggers climbing my pants leg 'cause I ain't fast enough.

By the time we came in the old folks were riled to beat hell. Gramps was laughing and cackling while they were bitchin' up a storm about how unfair it was that this dude they barely knew was gettin' ta feed "their" squirrels, while none of them could get close to 'em. One of the more observant old dudes corners me away from gramps while he's gettin' flooded by the gals for his secret squirrel sauce (ew). He asks what the secret was.

I said, and I quote, "In order to befriend an animal, you must think like an animal."

He gave me the stink-eye, and I escaped to rescue gramps from his squirrel groupie problem. Then we fucked off and played piano tunes and sang in the back room for the classy dames while grandma griped with the squirrel pretenders about how gramps and me always were animal assholes.

Tell you what, I woulda never thought learnin' "The Entertainer" backwards and forwards on piano would pay off, but I got a whole heap a retirement home wimminz all hussied up that night. Hope my fingers stay limber when I move in. Heehaw!

/old man story hour.

 

[Seabeast2000]

My classic repeatable fail is putting extra cooked food in the microwave to cool before putting it in the fridge and forgetting that I stashed it in the microwave. Happens about once a week.

I can't leave anything out to cool because my cats want all my food.

I'm starting to reheat food in a small cast iron pan in the toaster oven, just like the pioneers.

 

[Seabeast2000]

I once accidentally put mayonnaise instead of icing all over cinnabuns and didn't notice until I had already started on the fourth one, and I fucking hate mayonnaise. I'll take some fly bitten grill dogs any day, boiled dogs are not food though.

I put aftershave on my toothbrush this morning, tube confusion.

 

[Crungy]

It wasn't an accident, but I once made some Kraft macaroni and cheese with beer because I had no milk. As much as I liked beer that abomination went in the trash.

Another time I had no milk and the closest thing I had was some creamy fruit dip stuff. It was a sweet and weird tasting result. Not as bad as the beer-mac, so I ate some and threw the rest out.

 

[Furtive Glance]

Worst culinary mistake I made was when I was, like, 11, and took a big ol’ swig of Apple Cider… Vinegar. I saw the first two words. Burned all the way down. Do not recommend.

 

[KnightBrolaire]

It wasn't an accident, but I once made some Kraft macaroni and cheese with beer because I had no milk. As much as I liked beer that abomination went in the trash.

Another time I had no milk and the closest thing I had was some creamy fruit dip stuff. It was a sweet and weird tasting result. Not as bad as the beer-mac, so I ate some and threw the rest out.

Water works just fine in lieu of milk. I used to do that all the time back in college.

 

[Seabeast2000]

Water works just fine in lieu of milk. I used to do that all the time back in college.

Or just do what I do and double the butter and call it gud.

 

[SalsaWood]

Water works just fine in lieu of milk. I used to do that all the time back in college.

I still do it this way. Water and butter. It's much better with milk, but I think milk is much better on its own.

 

[nightflameauto]

It wasn't an accident, but I once made some Kraft macaroni and cheese with beer because I had no milk. As much as I liked beer that abomination went in the trash.

Another time I had no milk and the closest thing I had was some creamy fruit dip stuff. It was a sweet and weird tasting result. Not as bad as the beer-mac, so I ate some and threw the rest out.

The failure was on the part of the Kraft cheese mix.

Beer cheese mac & cheese is the shit. Beer cheese most things is the shit. Beer cheese nachos? Yes please. Beer cheese ramen with steak strips and fried peppers is my "classin' this shit up" late night snackin' material. Crushed Doritos on top for when we have company, of course. *TWIRLS MUSTACHE*

 

[nightsprinter]

Worst culinary mistake I made was when I was, like, 11, and took a big ol’ swig of Apple Cider… Vinegar. I saw the first two words. Burned all the way down. Do not recommend.

Multiple people have told me I should drink watered down apple cider vinegar for my blood pressure. I'm just gonna take the pill I'm prescribed...

 

[Crungy]

Water works just fine in lieu of milk. I used to do that all the time back in college.

I suppose it would be kind of like the Maruchan or similar cheesy noodles, but I wasn't having that at the time. There may have been a lot of beer drinking happening at that moment as well.

Or just do what I do and double the butter and call it gud.

Looking back, that would have been the move. I was either out of butter or a few beers deep already.

I still do it this way. Water and butter. It's much better with milk, but I think milk is much better on its own.

I'm pretty much off tit milk nowadays, unless it's in a recipe. I can't even think of the last time I had a glass of milk that wasn't from an almond tit.

 

[Crungy]

Multiple people have told me I should drink watered down apple cider vinegar for my blood pressure. I'm just gonna take the pill I'm prescribed...

I've heard of that but haven't tried it. I've considered it because I don't necessarily want to up my dosage if I don't have to.

I have a stupid swollen bursa on one of my knees that's keeping me from exercising lately, which sucks.

 

[nightsprinter]

I've heard of that but haven't tried it. I've considered it because I don't necessarily want to up my dosage if I don't have to.

I have a stupid swollen bursa on one of my knees that's keeping me from exercising lately, which sucks.

My wife has the same issue with her knee right now. She's blowing through the icy-hot/lidocaine patches and has one of those compression brace things. Hers isn't too bad, just a bit of swelling- nothing mind blowing like something the size of a water balloon or anything.

I told her she should probably just see a doctor. What's the deal with the bursa thing anyway- just management until it naturally goes down? I remember my dad had a ridiculous one on his elbow when I was a kid and they had to drain it.

 

[Crungy]

My wife has the same issue with her knee right now. She's blowing through the icy-hot/lidocaine patches and has one of those compression brace things. Hers isn't too bad, just a bit of swelling- nothing mind blowing like something the size of a water balloon or anything.

I told her she should probably just see a doctor. What's the deal with the bursa thing anyway- just management until it naturally goes down? I remember my dad had a ridiculous one on his elbow when I was a kid and they had to drain it.

I've never had it happen before, and fortunately it hasn't been painful. It just looks like I have a golf ball by my knee. I went to the doctor and the suggested compression along with icing and elevating like I have been doing, along with taking 800mg ibuprofen for a few days.

If that doesn't take care of it, I'll go back and see if they can drain it. I guess the fluid can be too think to draw out with a needle, so hopefully that's not the case if I have to go that route.

 

[CleansingCarnage]

Never had mayo in my life and haven't eaten anything with egg as the showcased ingredient in years, so that's good.

I'm sorry but I can't believe it

 

[SalsaWood]

I'm a tit man, can't live without it. Builds strong bones.

 

[STRHelvete]

Welcome to Nicolas Cage Phone Sex Simulator 2024!

Call the number...enjoy!






Don't click if you don't want it spoiled..or click of you're a scared lil bitch baby who won't call random phone numbers some strange creepy gay guy posts semi-anonymously and tells you to call
It's a movie promo

 

[spudmunkey]

I bought a refurbished vacuum. it wasn't packed well, so an important part slid out of the box in transit. Since I got it from their factory outlet, it was covered by the full warranty, so they agreed to send out the part, no charge. 2 weeks later, they realized the part was on back-order until November. So they agreed to just sent a whole brand new vacuum.

And they told me to just "dispose" of the parts I have. But the parts I have make for a perfectly functional hand vac. So I ain't disposing of shit.

So for the cost of a refurbished stick vac, I'll have a brand new stick vac, and a hand vac.

[/I'mOld]