SS Love and Relationships Thread

[youngthrasher9]

ok, what the hell happened? sounds interesting

Well, I'm quite decent at reading people and analyzing them. I know fair bit about psychogology.

My dumbass self mentioned in passing that I could do a profile on her. She's not super confident in who she is or why she does things.

Long story short: it's impossible to make a psych profile flattering even if you start with the positive. People only THINK they'd be okay with being analyzed. She was not happy.

I mean I apologized and she kinda forgave me eventually, but she'll remember that.

 

[Spaced Out Ace]

I've been single a few years now, and I'm kinda glad I don't have to deal with batshit insanity, controlling people, and other bullshit that dating involves. I don't date or fool around with anyone either. I don't care to deal with the drama that even something casual like that would entail.

My girlfriend has so much debt and only now is getting a job after 5 months of quitting her last. She had a job a few weeks ago that she worked at for a week and a half, but didn't like it and quit. She has no health insurance or anything like that, but didn't want to work. I just don't understand it. Maybe it was the way I was raised and the way I am (extremely responsible and always taking care of what needs to be done no matter the cost). I just don't understand how someone just let's that amount of debt accumulate without doing anything about it? Sorry for the rant, it just boggles my mind. Am I nuts?

Yes, you are nuts. Why? Because you said "my girlfriend" instead of "my ex girlfriend." That sounds like a major issue just waiting to happen.

 

[will_shred]

I have a date with a girl I had a huge crush on in high school. We just started talking again recently and it turns out we have a lot in common, we're both really interested in psychology and neurology, and certain areas of philosophy. She also just started recently getting into metal, and I've been showing her bands that she would like. And shes a really good artist. I feel like we really click on an emotional level, had a lot of really great conversations so far. I'm a little worried that she won't feel the same about me, mostly because she's way out of my league in terms of physical appearance. She is (in my opinion) one of the most beautiful women I've ever met, no exaggeration. Whereas I'm pretty average.

I'm not really looking for "advice" because I know what I'm doing. I'm just venting so I can focus on my work. Wish me luck boys.

 

[TedEH]

she's way out of my league in terms of physical appearance.

I know you didn't ask for advice, but here's some anyway: If you're both adults, then "leagues" are not a thing. If you think in those terms, you're setting yourself up for failure. You're either compatible in terms of a partnership or not. Someone who would reject you because of something like "being out of their league" isn't someone you want as a partner in the first place. Or that's my anyway.

 

[will_shred]

I know you didn't ask for advice, but here's some anyway: If you're both adults, then "leagues" are not a thing. If you think in those terms, you're setting yourself up for failure. You're either compatible in terms of a partnership or not. Someone who would reject you because of something like "being out of their league" isn't someone you want as a partner in the first place. Or that's my anyway.

People definitely tend to partner with other people who are about as "attractive" as they are. Even though that's hard to quantify, you can't deny that its a thing. Its just biology.

 

[TedEH]

People definitely tend to partner with other people who are about as "attractive" as they are.

There's also a very low rate of what I'd call "successful" relationships. I mean, yeah, technically "leagues" are a thing that happens, my point was that I think it's not really a healthy basis for a relationship- to each their own, but I'd lose interest in someone who rejected me on that basis.

 

[will_shred]

I love people for their minds, but there has to be a threshold of physical attraction for me to be interested romantically, and I think its fair to say that's how most people operate, whether they admit it or not.

But anyway, I'm over analyzing it. I really like her, and I hope it can go somewhere.

 

[youngthrasher9]

In a turn of events surprisingly not related to my previous blunder, I'm back to the drawing board.

 

[Spaced Out Ace]

In a turn of events surprisingly not related to my previous blunder, I'm back to the drawing board.

Womp womp womp. Sorry dude.

 

[Spaced Out Ace]

I have a date with a girl I had a huge crush on in high school. We just started talking again recently and it turns out we have a lot in common, we're both really interested in psychology and neurology, and certain areas of philosophy. She also just started recently getting into metal, and I've been showing her bands that she would like. And shes a really good artist. I feel like we really click on an emotional level, had a lot of really great conversations so far. I'm a little worried that she won't feel the same about me, mostly because she's way out of my league in terms of physical appearance. She is (in my opinion) one of the most beautiful women I've ever met, no exaggeration. Whereas I'm pretty average.

I'm not really looking for "advice" because I know what I'm doing. I'm just venting so I can focus on my work. Wish me luck boys.

How did I not comment on this before? If you think like that, that's all you'll attract. You don't need to be an egomaniac, but just don't think of yourself as average.

 

[Alberto7]

I've been away from this thread for a while. I needed a break from the whole dating game and just take my life at my own pace... as little sense as that may seem to make.

However, I come back with good news (for me anyway. ). Finally found someone that I think is a reasonable human being, and I think things will be good. We've known each other for about 2 and a half years, and we were always good buddies from day one. We went on a trip together last October, and that's when I got to really know her well. It wasn't until about 4-5 months ago that we began getting a lot closer. The last two months or so we've pretty much texted continuously every day, and the last 3 weeks we've seen each other practically every day. We're super comfortable around each other and it's easy for us to be ourselves in each other's presence. Finally decided to just ask her out last week, which honestly felt like a mere formality on some level. We've only been dating for a little bit, but honestly the only thing that's really changed is the physical contact. It seems like it's still early to tell, but I think this could be good.

 

[Alberto7]

I've been away from this thread for a while. I needed a break from the whole dating game and just take my life at my own pace... as little sense as that may seem to make.

However, I come back with good news (for me anyway. ). Finally found someone that I think is a reasonable human being, and I think things will be good. We've known each other for about 2 and a half years, and we were always good buddies from day one. We went on a trip together last October, and that's when I got to really know her well. It wasn't until about 4-5 months ago that we began getting a lot closer. The last two months or so we've pretty much texted continuously every day, and the last 3 weeks we've seen each other practically every day. We're super comfortable around each other and it's easy for us to be ourselves in each other's presence. Finally decided to just ask her out last week, which honestly felt like a mere formality on some level. We've only been dating for a little bit, but honestly the only thing that's really changed is the physical contact. It seems like it's still early to tell, but I think this could be good.

 

[Eden]

Kinda new to this thread, but I'm starting back at school and with work its hard to have time to vent about some things. Someone I work with is getting ready to move back halfway across the country for school and I really think that I've developed some strong feelings for her, I can't tell if the feeling is mutual but she just has an effect on things that takes the edge out of life and legitimately makes me feel like a schoolboy again when we're joking around and talking to each other. I kinda want ask her for her # just to keep in touch even if we wouldn't hit it off in a relationship manner but I don't know, sso.

 

[Simic]

Hey guys, I have a question;

So I've been single for like half a year now and for 5 months I've been texting and seeing this girl who also goes to my faculty (1 year below me) and we've agreed to the friends with benefits thing and we agreed on the following: sex, cuddling and also like helping each other better understand what the opposite sex wants, help each other text other ppl to hook up etc. And also made it clear to each other that we will never be in a relationship because we're just not right for each other.

So we haven't seen each other for 2 months during the summer because we were both traveling. We're seeing each other again for like a week now but I'm leaving to study abroad in October so our relationship is coming to a pause I guess.
Like we're super honest with each other and I told her about the girls I've had sex with during the summer, showed her pics of them (she asked) and I'm still texting with 2 of them and she like helps me text and stuff. I even told her about another friend with benefits I have now and they know each other (same faculty) and it she was okay with all of it.
She didn't really have sex with anyone else since we started, just made out with some guys a few times. But now she needs a replacement for me (as funny as this sounds) and she asked me to help choose a good guy out of the ones that were texting her and I texted with some of them, took out the fools and today she called me that she just got home from a date and it went awesome and that she's pretty certain this guy will be my replacement.

I thought I'd be happy when I heard this but to be completely honest with you, SSO, I was jealous And the funny thing is I would never consider this girl as a future partner because there are some dealbreakers (for me) on her - for instance she can't listen any harder rock/metal music and is a hater of those genres. But the sex is the best I've had in my life and she's really fun to hang out with, go out for drinks, lunch etc. And she also really likes me and all her friends do as well. She is gonna visit me abroad and I'll probably come home a few times during the year as well so it's not like I won't ever have sex with her again but it's definitely pretty much over between the two of us until I get back, if she's still single by then.

So is what I'm feeling right now normal? Like I'm jealous of her getting someone to replace me even though I will do the exact same? And how does it all make sense if I don't even want her as my girlfriend (and vice versa)? Is it just me being selfish because I'll have to give my toy to someone else? (I'm sorry if that sounds sexist, it's not meant that way).

 

[Spaced Out Ace]

Sometimes thou doth protest too much. Most people in relationships don't share music in common.

 

[Obsidian Soul]

Hey guys, I have a question;

So I've been single for like half a year now and for 5 months I've been texting and seeing this girl who also goes to my faculty (1 year below me) and we've agreed to the friends with benefits thing and we agreed on the following: sex, cuddling and also like helping each other better understand what the opposite sex wants, help each other text other ppl to hook up etc. And also made it clear to each other that we will never be in a relationship because we're just not right for each other.

So we haven't seen each other for 2 months during the summer because we were both traveling. We're seeing each other again for like a week now but I'm leaving to study abroad in October so our relationship is coming to a pause I guess.
Like we're super honest with each other and I told her about the girls I've had sex with during the summer, showed her pics of them (she asked) and I'm still texting with 2 of them and she like helps me text and stuff. I even told her about another friend with benefits I have now and they know each other (same faculty) and it she was okay with all of it.
She didn't really have sex with anyone else since we started, just made out with some guys a few times. But now she needs a replacement for me (as funny as this sounds) and she asked me to help choose a good guy out of the ones that were texting her and I texted with some of them, took out the fools and today she called me that she just got home from a date and it went awesome and that she's pretty certain this guy will be my replacement.

I thought I'd be happy when I heard this but to be completely honest with you, SSO, I was jealous And the funny thing is I would never consider this girl as a future partner because there are some dealbreakers (for me) on her - for instance she can't listen any harder rock/metal music and is a hater of those genres. But the sex is the best I've had in my life and she's really fun to hang out with, go out for drinks, lunch etc. And she also really likes me and all her friends do as well. She is gonna visit me abroad and I'll probably come home a few times during the year as well so it's not like I won't ever have sex with her again but it's definitely pretty much over between the two of us until I get back, if she's still single by then.

So is what I'm feeling right now normal? Like I'm jealous of her getting someone to replace me even though I will do the exact same? And how does it all make sense if I don't even want her as my girlfriend (and vice versa)? Is it just me being selfish because I'll have to give my toy to someone else? (I'm sorry if that sounds sexist, it's not meant that way).

Have you noticed that everybody,from what I can remember,on here that HAD a gf that liked the same music as them(metal/djent/insert nonpopular music) have become ex-girlfriends?Music interests aren't make or break.

Also,from what you are saying,it seems that not all is as it seems.She wants to know about the chicks you talk to and she hasn't fooled around(that we know of)even though she's been completely free to do so.If she's still single by the time you get back,talk to her about it.In the meantime,ponder on your relationship with this girl and reevaluate where you want her in your life.

 

[cult]

Sometimes thou doth protest too much. Most people in relationships don't share music in common.

So much this.
My ex used to like singer/songwriter stuff and I got her to listen to the Deftones and similar bands, but that was about it.
My fiancée tolerates my now really diverse taste in music as long as I don't bother her with it too often or turn it up too loud for her to enjoy other stuff in the house.

All other stuff aside:
If you get along great, like being with each other and enjoy the sex, go for it.

 

[bostjan]

Hey guys, I have a question;

So I've been single for like half a year now and for 5 months I've been texting and seeing this girl who also goes to my faculty (1 year below me) and we've agreed to the friends with benefits thing and we agreed on the following: sex, cuddling and also like helping each other better understand what the opposite sex wants, help each other text other ppl to hook up etc. And also made it clear to each other that we will never be in a relationship because we're just not right for each other.

So we haven't seen each other for 2 months during the summer because we were both traveling. We're seeing each other again for like a week now but I'm leaving to study abroad in October so our relationship is coming to a pause I guess.
Like we're super honest with each other and I told her about the girls I've had sex with during the summer, showed her pics of them (she asked) and I'm still texting with 2 of them and she like helps me text and stuff. I even told her about another friend with benefits I have now and they know each other (same faculty) and it she was okay with all of it.
She didn't really have sex with anyone else since we started, just made out with some guys a few times. But now she needs a replacement for me (as funny as this sounds) and she asked me to help choose a good guy out of the ones that were texting her and I texted with some of them, took out the fools and today she called me that she just got home from a date and it went awesome and that she's pretty certain this guy will be my replacement.

I thought I'd be happy when I heard this but to be completely honest with you, SSO, I was jealous And the funny thing is I would never consider this girl as a future partner because there are some dealbreakers (for me) on her - for instance she can't listen any harder rock/metal music and is a hater of those genres. But the sex is the best I've had in my life and she's really fun to hang out with, go out for drinks, lunch etc. And she also really likes me and all her friends do as well. She is gonna visit me abroad and I'll probably come home a few times during the year as well so it's not like I won't ever have sex with her again but it's definitely pretty much over between the two of us until I get back, if she's still single by then.

So is what I'm feeling right now normal? Like I'm jealous of her getting someone to replace me even though I will do the exact same? And how does it all make sense if I don't even want her as my girlfriend (and vice versa)? Is it just me being selfish because I'll have to give my toy to someone else? (I'm sorry if that sounds sexist, it's not meant that way).

Ne vreči puške v koruzo (Ne prenagljeno ravnati).

In English, we say, "do not empty the baby out with the bath."

Does she not tolerate you listening to your music, or does she just not like the music you like?

 

[p0ke]

Sometimes thou doth protest too much. Most people in relationships don't share music in common.

This. My wife listens to rnb and reggae etc. and basically can't stand metal, but we got married anyway. We just don't usually listen to music when we're at home together, and I don't see that as a problem. In the car we just listen to the radio and pretty much both hate what's playing equally It's just something I have to live with, but I don't mind - I get to listen to metal all day at work anyway, and at home I have a separate man cave where I play the guitar (which she loves hearing even though she doesn't like the music I'm playing).

 

[Simic]

Thanks for the suggestions dudes, after reading your replies we had a talk and we came to a conclusion that we really like each other and that this relationship has evolved past just friends. But seeing as I'm going on an exchange for a year and after I get back she's going on an exchange for a year which means we won't see each other for 2 years (except when visiting) we agreed we will wait until then to see how our lives have evolved and then maybe go for it. But just having that talk has made me feel much better, I truly thank all the ppl replying because otherwise I wouldn't bring up this topic and wouldn't have had the talk

edit: And bostjan thanks for the Slovenian proverb haha, do you have Slovenian roots? Your name sure implies it