The bear, and us being from Mars and Venus

[DrewH]

Nah, my wife and I love each other and hang out, constantly. I laughed at your post and handed my wife my phone so she could laugh

You are allowed to have your own life and not share everything. It's healthy. But, she probably loves that she "owns" you.

 

[narad]

^^ example poster absolutely not exhibiting any toxic masculinity at all

 

[DrewH]

^^ example poster absolutely not exhibiting any toxic masculinity at all

I feel bad for the lives you all lead and this fucked up view of the world you have.

 

[Randy]

The problem with the "man's man", "family protector" thing is that its always accompanied by 1.) possessiveness 2.) jealousy 3.) abuse

 

[CanserDYI]

I feel bad for the lives you all lead and this fucked up view of the world you have.

You are the man that women would rather be around a bear in the woods for, seriously. No hyperbole.

 

[MaxOfMetal]

You could try to exercise at least a little maturity and not drag my name into other threads.

You don't know me. It would probably surprise you that most of my good friends are females. Heck, I have ex girlfriends from college days who are happily married now with teenagers that I still message back and forth with at least once every week or 2. You don't have those kind of long lasting relationships if you are an asshole. The problem with you all is it's either 0 or 100. Anyone moderate shows up in the US politics thread and they are a fascist. Show any masculinity or just basic common sense when it comes to the sexes and you are suddenly a misogynist who beats on his girl. Seeing the pattern here?This is why there is a strong and getting stronger anti-left movement in the world. It's like tip toeing around landmines with you people.

Let me clue you and others into something. Women like masculinity, a lot. Obviously not to the point of misogyny or abuse. But, they like a man's man. Someone they can feel comfortable knowing they are protected by. Basic human nature.

As for the topic of this thread, what a joke. Totally agenda driven. Someone seeking validation from others about their own misguided feelings about men. Most men are pretty good natured. Most women are too. Both sexes have their fair share of real duds. For every man that has actual toxic masculinity, there is a woman that is toxically manipulative or a compulsive liar or has ulterior motives.

As for women being treated as objects, look at social media. It's nothing but women portraying themselves as sexual objects. You can't have it both ways. You can't portray yourself as an object and then not expect the assholes to treat you like one.

 

[TheDandy]

You are allowed to have your own life and not share everything. It's healthy. But, she probably loves that she "owns" you.

It's genuinely really sad that you read "I found this funny so I showed my wife" as "my wife owns me and I have no freedom". What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

[Chri]

 

[Randy]

It's genuinely really sad that you read "I found this funny so I showed my wife" as "my wife owns me and I have no freedom". What the fuck is wrong with you?

Kinda scary to imagine how this perspective scales up to other scenarios.

 

[CanserDYI]

Kinda scary to imagine how this perspective scales up to other scenarios.

Scares me what he'd do to his actual wife if he thinks a stranger on the Internet showing their wife a comment of his is controlling behavior.

Wait. Come to think of it, is DrewH even married? I could be wrong, but in all his dick swingin', concrete flingin', kayak bringin', "fly-you-in'in', dating advice givin' nonsense I don't think I ever read him say he was married. Wonder why?

 

[narad]

Scares me what he'd do to his actual wife if he thinks a stranger on the Internet showing their wife a comment of his is controlling behavior.

Wait. Come to think of it, is DrewH even married? I could be wrong, but in all his dick swingin', concrete flingin', kayak bringin', "fly-you-in'in', dating advice givin' nonsense I don't think I ever read him say he was married. Wonder why?

What are you talking about? The moment you mention kayaking around the ladies, their faucets go full blast. Fortunately you're in a kayak.

 

[Moongrum]

You may also be keeping up with what is happening in South Korea in regards to Patriarchy vs Feminism, and how that is destroying their social structure. Sadly South Korea is not alone in this as the same trend is being felt in various other countries, industries, religions, races, various age groups etc...

I have not. Can you give me the tldr?

 

[TheBlackBard]

As a man who is aware enough to realize that the patriarchy fucked both women and men, some ways similarly, other ways differently, I absolutely don't blame the women picking the bear. There's a reason why I don't have men do work on my house when I'm not there, there's a reason why I tense up more when there's men around vs when there are women around, there's a reason I don't really chill with men compared to women. Between all the "locker room talk", talks about whipping someone's ass constantly, and the constant need to feel adequate based on arbitrary shit that doesn't matter like truck size and their newest pew pew sticks, there's still PLENTY of work to be done on the part of men.

I will address that while it was said that it's "easy to be a man," that's not always the case. Yeah, men give you the option to "opt in" as it were, to their unfair power dynamic, and while men enjoy advantages even passively, just by existing, the patriarchy is what makes being a man actually hard in ways that people don't like to talk about. Always been told by society that I can't show my emotions or I'm a pussy, or any other scale that men are compared on based on expectations, I didn't have an easy life as a man growing up or during adulthood, and it was BECAUSE of men and the societal chokehold they have on other men.

 

[narad]

There's a reason why I don't have men do work on my house when I'm not there,

Same. And it's because I've watched "Straw Dogs"

 

[RevDrucifer]

I LOVE this Man Vs Bear stuff!!!! Bring on more of it!!!!!

That shit is like a bulldozer clearing a path for me.

I started dating again a few months back and the more people proudly out themselves for being who they are, the less time I have to spend explaining what I’m not. It’s removing the questioning around it entirely.

I feel like it’s considerably different than it was 2.5 years ago when I started dating after my divorce, because a lot of the traits women were trying to weed out of me are being automatically shown by the dudes who are really proud of their political leanings or don’t understand while taking offense to the Man Vs Bear thing.

So keep it up!

I don’t dig the idea of putting people in boxes where there’s no nuance between character traits, but in the case of stuff like this, bring it the fuck on.

 

[TheBlackBard]

Same. And it's because I've watched "Straw Dogs"

I hope you don't think I'm coming at this from a jesting POV. I know how men are and how they can be, and the stuff they'll try and it didn't take watching a movie to see that or know that.

 

[Randy]

As a man who is aware enough to realize that the patriarchy fucked both women and men, some ways similarly, other ways differently, I absolutely don't blame the women picking the bear. There's a reason why I don't have men do work on my house when I'm not there, there's a reason why I tense up more when there's men around vs when there are women around, there's a reason I don't really chill with men compared to women. Between all the "locker room talk", talks about whipping someone's ass constantly, and the constant need to feel adequate based on arbitrary shit that doesn't matter like truck size and their newest pew pew sticks, there's still PLENTY of work to be done on the part of men.

I will address that while it was said that it's "easy to be a man," that's not always the case. Yeah, men give you the option to "opt in" as it were, to their unfair power dynamic, and while men enjoy advantages even passively, just by existing, the patriarchy is what makes being a man actually hard in ways that people don't like to talk about. Always been told by society that I can't show my emotions or I'm a pussy, or any other scale that men are compared on based on expectations, I didn't have an easy life as a man growing up or during adulthood, and it was BECAUSE of men and the societal chokehold they have on other men.

To the point of the OP discussion (and I'm sure this has been stated in the infinite discussions happening online), a woman in the woods alone with a man has the very real chance of being raped and murdered, and a man in the woods alone with a woman does not have the same legitimate chance of that happening to him. That's a scenario to be considered both literally and metaphorically.

That's a big part of my trepidation about both sides-ing this at all. There's a safety net afforded to men that comes just by virtue of their gender.

While I'll agree that there are challenges men encounter BECAUSE they're men, it's like a fraction of a fraction of what a woman is subjected to simply for existing. To the point, yeah, there's some 'stuff' about being a guy that I don't love but it doesn't even feel appropriate to voice because of the degree of disparity. As a discussion on it's own sure, but in the context of "both" sides having challenges? No.

 

[RevDrucifer]

The only challenge I can say I’ve felt came as a result of being a dude is navigating assumptions, nothing that’s held me back socially or economically, it’s all conversation-level stuff and 99% of the time, it’s with people I don’t particularly care to socialize with anyway.

 

[TheBlackBard]

To the point of the OP discussion (and I'm sure this has been stated in the infinite discussions happening online), a woman in the woods alone with a man has the very real chance of being raped and murdered, and a man in the woods alone with a woman does not have the same legitimate chance of that happening to him. That's a scenario to be considered both literally and metaphorically.

That's a big part of my trepidation about both sides-ing this at all. There's a safety net afforded to men that comes just by virtue of their gender.

While I'll agree that there are challenges men encounter BECAUSE they're men, it's like a fraction of a fraction of what a woman is subjected to simply for existing. To the point, yeah, there's some 'stuff' about being a guy that I don't love but it doesn't even feel appropriate to voice because of the degree of disparity. As a discussion on it's own sure, but in the context of "both" sides having challenges? No.

If it comes across like I'm both-sidesing this, that's not my intent. I will say that bringing up men issues in this thread is, yeah, poor taste, but I don't share your sentiment it isn't worth bringing up our problems, just not in this conversation, so my bad there.

Point blank? I don't trust men, either, and I support any woman saying she'd pick the bear.

 

[Randy]

a dude is navigating assumptions

I recall one time when I was, idk, 21 or 22.

Went to a bar in the next city over with a friend of mine. Across the room I saw a girl I was friends with, knew her for 10+ years, close friends with both of her brothers, etc. I went over to say hi, because we're friends and that's what you do; also it was somewhat surprising seeing someone you know at a random place an hour away.

She was very welcoming, introduced me to her friend (female). Her friend put on a cartoonishly disgusted look, might have even said "ew" and/or "go away". And I said alright, well nice seeing you have a good night and went on my way.

I think my ego took a little bit of a bruising, and I was probably a little offended and/or pissed off. After I processed it a bit, kinda reassessed it concluded 1.) it was probably rude/pushy inviting myself into their conversation 2.) it was most likely "girl's night" and I came across as a creepy interloper 3.) there *are* guys out there that have bad intentions and it's totally understandable that the defenses were up.

So, I mean, I was a little offended being treated that way but I can understand why. I zero percent blame her for reacting that way. A lot of guys would probably take it as "pft, that bitch doesn't even know me" but it's not really her job to have get to know you.